Kazamataz

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Why is it:

When your a kid you can't be trusted?

When your a teenager they say you'll be trusted when your an adult?

But in your 20's still your parents don't trust you?

Will there ever be a time in my life when my mum won't worry unnecessarily and just realize i'm an adult and i can be trusted to make the right decisions? :scratch:
 

norbie

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Why is it:

When your a kid you can't be trusted?

When your a teenager they say you'll be trusted when your an adult?

But in your 20's still your parents don't trust you?

Will there ever be a time in my life when my mum won't worry unnecessarily and just realize i'm an adult and i can be trusted to make the right decisions? :scratch:
No, then she would not love you. Think about it, your Mum knows you better then any other Person in this World. Everytime you go out or drive a car she will be home and waiting for your return in one piece and happy.
So see it this way: she loves you very much.
Norbie
 
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tgg

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Most parents know stuff all about how to raise kids now. I think once the kids turn 12 or 13 the parents ought to loosen up the reins and let them make their own choices and decisions in life whether you agree with them or not. You can't re-live your life through your kids, which is the basic mistake a lot of parents make. Children don't come from their parents, they came through their parents.
 
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norbie

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Most parents know stuff all about how to raise kids now. I think once the kids turn 12 or 13 the parents ought to loosen up the reins and let them make their own choices and decisions in life whether you agree with them or not. You can't re-live your life through your kids, which is the basic mistake a lot of parents make. Children don't come from their parents, they came through their parents.
I think you will be pretty much on your own there. Age of 12 to 18 is the most important time a Teenager need the Support of their Parents, especially a girl needs the Support and a Shoulder to lean on from Mum.
Deffently can't agree with you there.
Norbie
 
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Neenie1

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Most parents know stuff all about how to raise kids now. I think once the kids turn 12 or 13 the parents ought to loosen up the reins and let them make their own choices and decisions in life whether you agree with them or not. You can't re-live your life through your kids, which is the basic mistake a lot of parents make. Children don't come from their parents, they came through their parents.
I don't agree with this.

At this age a teenager is still a child. These days it is a much harsher world to bring children up in, than it was 20 years ago.

There is a difference between caring for your children and doing the best you can to protect them (which is a parents God given role, that's right, I see them as lent to me by God, and it's my role to do the best I can to bring them up the way he would want them to, and they are only children for a short time) and living your life trough them,.


I learned this not that long ago when my son screamed every time he had swimming lessons, and it got to the point where I realised I was shoving it down his throat because I never learned to swim and wanted him to do it lol. So he doesn't go to swimming lessons at the moment and when he wants to go we will take him and he will learn because he wants to, not because I am making him go. So in the meantime he doesn't go anywhere near water unless someone is supervising (an obvious safety issue since he's only 5) I think the time when he wants to learn is coming soon because most of his friends can swim.

Kazamataz - I am turning 31 next month, have been married for nearly 6 years and have 2 children. I am proud to say I have earned my parents trust, Well I think I have,

Do they still worry about me - YES!!!!!! However they don't "go on" about it like they used to, but it's still there.


I think as you get older they realise that you can handle situations yourself and it's easier to not worry so much ( or that's my theory - I haven't had time to test that out much yet, my eldest is only 5)
 
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norbie

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I don't agree with this.

At this age a teenager is still a child. These days it is a much harsher world to bring children up in, than it was 20 years ago.

There is a difference between caring for your children and doing the best you can to protect them (which is a parents God given role, that's right, I see them as lent to me by God, and it's my role to do the best I can to bring them up the way he would want them to, and they are only children for a short time) and living your life trough them,.


I learned this not that long ago when my son screamed every time he had swimming lessons, and it got to the point where I realised I was shoving it down his throat because I never learned to swim and wanted him to do it lol. So he doesn't go to swimming lessons at the moment and when he wants to go we will take him and he will learn because he wants to, not because I am making him go. So in the meantime he doesn't go anywhere near water unless someone is supervising (an obvious safety issue since he's only 5) I think the time when he wants to learn is coming soon because most of his friends can swim.

Kazamataz - I am turning 31 next month, have been married for nearly 6 years and have 2 children. I am proud to say I have earned my parents trust, Well I think I have,

Do they still worry about me - YES!!!!!! However they don't "go on" about it like they used to, but it's still there.


I think as you get older they realise that you can handle situations yourself and it's easier to not worry so much ( or that's my theory - I haven't had time to test that out much yet, my eldest is only 5)
BRAVO to your Post, you must be a great Parent to your Children. Yes this is the Way it should be. My two Boys now 30 and 28 still come to Mum and Dad to talk over important Decision. The main thing here is not to be upset if the use their own idea and not yours. Otherwise they want come back again.
When we are 80 or 90 we still will be Mum and Dad, and proud of it.
Norbie
 
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tgg

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I think you will be pretty much on your own there. Age of 12 to 18 is the most important time a Teenager need the Support of their Parents, especially a girl needs the Support and a Shoulder to lean on from Mum.
Deffently can't agree with you there.
Norbie

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one. Teenagers are not children, neither do they like to be seen as or treated as them. In Biblical times, once a boy or girl reached the age of 12 or 13 they were considered young adults.

European teenagers have far more 'adult' privileges than Australian teens do, and they don't have half the delinquency problems that our teens do.
 
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Neenie1

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Tgg - it's all well and good to talk about Bible times - these aren't Bible times anymore. People are living longer and society is much different now to what it was then.

Kids at 13 haven't even finished school yet. No they don't like to be treated as children, and you certainly would expect more responsibility of a 13 year old than you would a 5 year old, but they are still children.

You also wouldn't expect a 13 year old to have the same responsibility you could give an 18 year old either.
 
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norbie

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I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one. Teenagers are not children, neither do they like to be seen as or treated as them. In Biblical times, once a boy or girl reached the age of 12 or 13 they were considered young adults.

European teenagers have far more 'adult' privileges than Australian teens do, and they don't have half the delinquency problems that our teens do.
Now come on, you are not going to compare our time with the biblical time. A time were inappropriate contento, Drugs and so on is free available.
Can't you see the ONLY backup and support comes from the Parents. Even in School, some teacher I know are realy frustrated - but got no right to help.
The Secret in Trust is - you!
How we are bringing up our Children from the very early age. You don't ever lie to them, if you have to say "no" to something you explain to them WHY you had to say 'No', and don't forget Children are a part of the Family, that means they also have their job in the house, like washing up and so on.
And than the will "feel" they are a part of the Family and loved. And when you then tell your 16 year old Teenager to be home by 10pm, she will know it is good for her, THEN SHE WILL FULLY TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT, and not complain.
Norbie
 
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Kazamataz

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Now come on, you are not going to compare our time with the biblical time. A time were inappropriate contento, Drugs and so on is free available.
Can't you see the ONLY backup and support comes from the Parents. Even in School, some teacher I know are realy frustrated - but got no right to help.
The Secret in Trust is - you!
How we are bringing up our Children from the very early age. You don't ever lie to them, if you have to say "no" to something you explain to them WHY you had to say 'No', and don't forget Children are a part of the Family, that means they also have their job in the house, like washing up and so on.
And than the will "feel" they are a part of the Family and loved. And when you then tell your 16 year old Teenager to be home by 10pm, she will know it is good for her, THEN SHE WILL FULLY TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT, and not complain.
Norbie
drugs and sex were just as freely available in biblical times as they are today.

people seem to think the world is getting worse and worse but really it's always been bad!
 
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ontheside

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drugs and sex were just as freely available in biblical times as they are today.
True, however...
  • You couldn't get video on demand (of questionable content) on a laptop in your bedroom.
  • You did not have to worry about people finding out everything they can about you from social websites such as myspace or even Google.
  • Fashion has changed dramatically in order to save fabric.
  • Due to certain advancements, drugs are stronger and cheaper today. (including alcohol)
I would say that it's harder to grow up as a teenager these days and even if it wasn't, I certainly wouldn't be on the right track if my parents "loosened the reigns" on me . They are the ones that kept me on the straight and narrow with the old fashioned spanks too, I might add. None of this no hitting children as punishment stuff.

There are too many parents these days that "loosen the reigns" and loose their kids down the drain, everyone lives on Love, without Love, your life would be very very sad. Your parents should be the people that love you most in this world and Love wouldn't want you to stray in the wrong direction.The same principal applies to God. Lack of Love is what leads to gangs, suicide and other such things.

Just my Thoughts.
 
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Kazamataz

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True, however...
  • You couldn't get video on demand (of questionable content) on a laptop in your bedroom.
  • You did not have to worry about people finding out everything they can about you from social websites such as myspace or even Google.
  • Fashion has changed dramatically in order to save fabric.
  • Due to certain advancements, drugs are stronger and cheaper today. (including alcohol)
I would say that it's harder to grow up as a teenager these days and even if it wasn't, I certainly wouldn't be on the right track if my parents "loosened the reigns" on me . They are the ones that kept me on the straight and narrow with the old fashioned spanks too, I might add. None of this no hitting children as punishment stuff.

There are too many parents these days that "loosen the reigns" and loose their kids down the drain, everyone lives on Love, without Love, your life would be very very sad. Your parents should be the people that love you most in this world and Love wouldn't want you to stray in the wrong direction.The same principal applies to God. Lack of Love is what leads to gangs, suicide and other such things.

Just my Thoughts.
I agree that your parents need to be present in your life.

They do need to be the ones giving you the most love and they need to be involved in your life.

not in a nosy annoying kind of way but they do need to have a relationship with you.

too many people these days do let there kids just do whatever they want whenever they want and then they wonder why there teens end up on drugs or pregnant or getting into all kinds of trouble.

I think it's gotta be about balance, balancing between trusting your kids and being present in their lives.
 
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