Re-starting work again tomorrow

You don't want to come in the summer. It is hot and HUMID!!! The best time in Pa is the fall. Warm days, cool nights and the fall foliage is beautiful.

Redemptionsong said:

My wife passed at the end of 2006. December 30th to be exact. Just this week I went back to work. I was listless and drained and I was unable to perform my job at the level I had previously. I had no interest in being there to be honest. It's hollow and empty to me now. An illness forced me to miss the last two days I was schedualed this week. Since my wife died, my work schedual is no longer conducive to my and my daughters's lives. My entire situation is falling apart down here. Members of my family have told me to relocate to their town and start fresh there. I've started putting in applications up there, but so far nothing has come to fruition. I see that I'm being prepared for some sort of move, but I don't see where I'm going yet. It's very disconcerting.

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Redemtionsong- Take your time. I felt very similar to you when my wife died. I hung around my job for almost 5 months, just sorta being there. Not really accomplishing much. My employer was super, they understood and protected my job. They never were anything but wonderful. Around the 5 or 6 month mark I decided the kids and I needed a change. I left my job as a Quality Supervisor with a medical device company and went to work as a maintenance supervisor with my kids school. It was a wonderful change and the extra time with kids was just what we all needed. I eventually returned to my old job, with a better position and less stress to boot. God has been very good to us.
So I say to you, take your time. Focus on you and kids for now. One day at a time. As you heal, your focus will return. You will slowly begin to look past today and begin to look further into the future again. This storm has a bitter wind and there will days when it seems to never end, but God gives you a few calm days to mix in. And as time goes on, you become stronger and calmer. The sun is there, just over the horizon. Press On!

JeanR said:

You don't want to come in the summer. It is hot and HUMID!!! The best time in Pa is the fall. Warm days, cool nights and the fall foliage is beautiful.

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Nice place you live in there.... In the summer it's hot and humid....and in the winter your pipes freeze.. lol
Actually I have seen pictures of back east in the fall and I love to look at them... It must really be beautiful back there at that time of year. Perhaps it would make a good motorcycle trip sometime. I have family, (my wife's) in Minnesota and I plan to ride there perhaps this coming year.

JeanR said:

You don't want to come in the summer. It is hot and HUMID!!! The best time in Pa is the fall. Warm days, cool nights and the fall foliage is beautiful.

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Jean you come on down to Louisiana in August and then we can discuss heat and humidity.

I head to the White Mountains in New Hampshire in the summer--and even there it was hot and humid last summer. In fact, last July we went up there for a family reunion. When the kids become adults it is very hard to get them altogether. But, with the exception of our daughter who lives in Germany, we went. Our extended family was there, too. Terry saw cousins he hadn't seen in 40 years. We had a wonderful time, despite the heat. (very few places are air conditioned in that area because it is so cool in the summer). That time has become very precious.

We're heading up there again this summer, including Terry's parents and siblings. We will actually be there on Terry's birthday. It will be a bittersweet time.

I hope everything is going well with you going back to work.

I have been off since my husband died 5 months ago. I am going to have to find a new job of course. I'm looking halfheartedly. I'm going to use all of my savings if I don't get some money coming in soon.

I'f been spending a lot too. I redecorated the master bedroom. It looks beautiful and fresh, but all of the memories are still there.

I love it when I have dreams about my husband. They are so real, I wake up smiling.

Dawiddlegir,
Waking up smiling is a sure sign that God is starting his healing process with you. I'm glad to see that.
I was a little confused when, at first, I didn't have any dreams at all, then came the dreams, but not of Patsy. Just over the last couple of months have I started having dreams of her. Sounds like that might be the normal thing that occurs.
Another thing that I have noticed is that the more time that passes, the harder it is to remember what she looked like laying there in that bed in ICU. Most of what I see in my mind is a face of younger years when she was healthy. Is this normal???
Since I'm off today, I might box up her medical records and receipts and put them in storage, and she has a lot of them. Five years worth. Everytime I look in the files, I begin to think how final this whole thing is, and the tears start....and you're right Jean, the whole thing stinks... Got to find my tissues...
God bless you all,
Missinyou

My pipes are still frozen. I live in a house built in 1860 and, needless to say, it was not built well. Fortunately, the pipes freezing doesn't happen too often. In fact, it's been several years. I'm on Lake Erie right now on business and it is colder here than at home.

The first couple of business trips were hard after Terry died. It felt like I traded the loneliness of our bedroom for the loneliness of a hotel room. So, I guess I am getting back on my feet because I feel quite comfortable. Now, if it would just warm up so I could go somewhere!!!

I just checked my e-mail and I received an e-mail from church. One of our members passed away. Please be in prayer for his wife. This is her second husband that has died. She was widowed quite young the first time. Now, she is in her 80's. I know that Terry's passing has been so hard on me physically and emotionally. I am young (somewhat--50 is young!) and with the toll it has taken on me, I just don't know how someone as old and in poor health as Ruth is going to pull through. The funeral is Saturday morning. If you could hold her in prayer during that time, it would be good. Thanks.

Jean,
Especially if they leaned on each other for support a lot. Your friend, Ruth, will be in my prayers, and may her faith keep her strong now and forever.

Jean,
And things should be getting easier for a young 50 year old Julia Roberts look alike.... At least you can look forward to being young for another four years... I'm 54 (soon to be 55) and I can tell you, I'm still young. lol

Jean,
I too can attest to the loneliness of the hotel room. Over the years, with Patsy's illness, we stayed in a lot hotel rooms, from Seattle to Mexico, and even the times when I was alone while she slept in a hospital bed, I still had the comfort of knowing I would see her in the morning. I traveled a long ways last Thanksgiving to spend time with her family and I stayed in a hotel (for the first time since she died) and it definitely was another first, another hurdle to get over. Fortunately her brother and his wife were staying in the same hotel and came and sat with me till the tears had subsided (and they were falling asleep on my bed.. ). I finally had to kick them out...they weren't leaving till they were sure I was going to be alright...and may God bless them for that.

Well, it is 1 in the afternoon and my audit is finished. I'm back at the hotel ndering if I should just check out and head home. It's a 7 hour drive, so I'd get home around 8, but it is only 5 degrees outside. I think I'll just sit tight and wait to go home tomorrow morning. So, 1:00, in a hotel with no pool or work out room, 5 degrees outside, what to do..what to do..

Sounds like a good time to catch up on some Bible studying to me... Just a pick a topic and start seeing what the Bible has to say about it... I have found my Bible to be a great comfort in the hotel rooms while traveling to doctors with Patsy. Even took it to the waiting rooms.. A good study bible and a notebook works wonders for passing the time away.

Either that or go hang out in the lounge.... lol

Would you believe I forgot my bible? There is one in the drawer, but I like mine with the study notes on the bottom. Guess I'm being a bit picky.

I can do some work on one of the government's websites for financial aid professionals. There are some areas I need to brush up on.

Or, I could sew. Or, I could play on the internet.

So many decisions.

I wonder if Julia Roberts has this problem?

JeanR said:

Would you believe I forgot my bible? There is one in the drawer, but I like mine with the study notes on the bottom. Guess I'm being a bit picky.

I can do some work on one of the government's websites for financial aid professionals. There are some areas I need to brush up on.

Or, I could sew. Or, I could play on the internet.

So many decisions.

I wonder if Julia Roberts has this problem?

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Jean, you are too much... I almost fell out of my chair when I read the last line of your post... We say little offhand things and then wonder if they even got read...and then you drop something like that out of blue... LOL You don't know good it makes me feel to see you joking, Jean... I'm still laughing...
Another little tidbit to make you feel better....while you're stuck in a hotel room at 5 above zero.... The sun is shining here and it's warm out....and I am seriously contemplating taking the Wing out for a run.... I realize that those in the southern part of our land could even gloat more than I but it's still nice for this part of Oregon. We had a rain about 5AM this morning that woke me up but the clouds left and sun has come out and it's beautiful out.

Just a little something to think about instead of Julia Roberts....

God bless,
Missinyou

Still laughing.....

It does feel good to joke and laugh. For so long all I have felt is grief. Terry and I had talked off and on over the years about what we would do if the other died. I told Terry would never remarry. I would concentrate on raising our kids. But, at the same time, I told Terry he should remarry. Terry disagreed with me.

There was a woman at our churchwho lost her husband in a car accident when their daughter was only 4 years old. She devoted her life to her daughter and now she is grown. She moved away and I always wondered what happened to her. But, Terry's point was that life does go on and he wouldn't want me to miss any of it. Terry was so full of life and was always looking for a new adventure. I was always the one who wanted to pull back. Thanks to Terry we did so much together. The vacations we took with the kids, and the places we were going just the two of us. I miss my travel buddy. There will never be anyone like him.

It might be warm in Oregon, but tomorrow the temperature at Lake Erie is rising--it's going up to 6 degrees tomorrow!