My wife passed at the end of 2006. December 30th to be exact. Just this week I went back to work. I was listless and drained and I was unable to perform my job at the level I had previously. I had no interest in being there to be honest. It's hollow and empty to me now. An illness forced me to miss the last two days I was schedualed this week. Since my wife died, my work schedual is no longer conducive to my and my daughters's lives. My entire situation is falling apart down here. Members of my family have told me to relocate to their town and start fresh there. I've started putting in applications up there, but so far nothing has come to fruition. I see that I'm being prepared for some sort of move, but I don't see where I'm going yet. It's very disconcerting.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. That is something we can never prepare ourselves for, but hang in there Redemptionsong. You are new at this thing and there is going to be some hard times ahead, but keep the chin up. Each time you head into the tears, ask God to please give you the strength to make it through one more minute, one more day. That will direct your mind toward Him, and through that direction, he will help you dry the tears.
I would say, by you age, that your daughter is pretty young and she is going to need your strength to lean on and to reassure her that her world did not just come to an end. That's a pretty big job for someone who is suffering so much themselves, but, with God's help you can make it. We all have so far.
You have come to the right place for support, love, and encouragement. I've found the people on here to be the most loving, kind, and understanding people and an invaluable asset at this time of our greatest sorrow. I know that we each are unique in our situation and feelings, but we all have one thing in common, we have all sunk to the farthest reaches of grief and agony, and, through the support of those who have suffered with us, we have started that old, long, lonely road back to some semblance of happiness and normalcy. When you weep, and there is much of that ahead of you, weep in the privacy of your darkness, but for your daughter's sake, show her that her daddy, with a lot of help from God, is going to get them through this. Someday the sunlight will shine in both your worlds again.
Keep the faith and try to find peace in the knowledge that God is leading you somewhere, and when it's time, He will reveal it to you...in some way. It might come with a crash or it might come to you like the breath of an evening breeze, ever so silently and softly, but rest assured Redemptionsong, He will show it to.
May God bless you and bring you comfort in your sorrow,
Missinyou