It's true that good friends are hard to find. I've found that keeping in touch is not easy. I am a bit critical, but I still call or email 2-3x to ask what's up before giving up when they don't communicate. As for the stress of restaurant work, it decreases dramatically after ~1yr or so; you get the hang of it. I would also tell myself that at the end of the night, nothing that had happened would matter tomorrow, to decrease the stress.
Could you elaborate on how these 15 churches were full of unfriendly hypocrites?
Well, all of my restaurant work all came within the same 2 1/2 year period, and IMO, the stress never "got better" or "became acceptable." Every day, I dealt with the same BS shift work, the same angry customers whining about something different every day, and the same long/tedious 14-hour shifts. It was never a type of job I ENJOYED doing--I merely did it because of the money (at one particular restaurant, a higher-income clientèle Cajun restaurant, I could typically bring home $100 or more per night during a good week). I just got tired of the stressful shifts and long hours after a while. The money just wasn't worth feeling so tired all the time.
You're definitely a lot more willing than I am, as far as friends go. I haven't made much of an effort at all to talk with my old friends. Not that it really matters, now--I've been out of college since September 2005 so a lot of my old friends have graduated or will be graduating this Spring...we haven't talked in such a long time.
Hopefully, once I finally find a church, maybe I will make some new friends. Either that, or I'm going to turn into one of those lonely losers who are 45 years old and have absolutely no friends whatsoever.
As for the church comment, I guess that's not exactly what I meant. I think the hypocrite comment mainly applies to a particular Baptist church I went to whose congregation is largely middle- and higher-income individuals. The church parking lot is full of Mercedes, BMWs, Cadillacs, etc. and they just seem to look down upon everyone else. Maybe I am totally wrong here, but I just called it like I saw it at the time.
As for the other churches, most of them were churches I was invited to by friends. Thus, the particular services I went to were mainly contemporary services, which I absolutely cannot stand. I am a very traditionalist-type worshiper, and when I go to a contemporary worship and I'm the only one who's not getting into the music and who doesn't have my hands up in the air, I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
Additionally...
1) I was born into and raised to the age of 16 in a United Methodist church.
2) At the age of 16, I rejected God and became agnostic for two years.
3) At the age of 18, I let God back into my life but did not ever start going back to church.
4) Between the ages of 18 and 21, I have visited various churches:
----a) on a few occasions, I've visited the United Methodist church I grew up in (usually for the Christmas Eve service)
----b) a Pentecostal church upon a friend's invitation. The whole "speaking in tongues" thing and the whole congregation dancing around the room while worshiping scared me to death and I didn't go back
----c) a "Community" church upon a friend's invitation. The church reminded me of a Baptist church using the "Community Church" name, and the congregation numbered in the thousands--very impersonal experience and I didn't go back
----d) a second "Community" church upon a friend's invitation. While much smaller and more personal, the style of worship was contemporary (guitars/drums/electronic instruments) and I had a very hard time getting into the worship. A positive of the church was that the congregation was largely adults aged 20 - 45...people my age who could relate to my issues.
----e) Finally, an SBC Baptist church. The congregation is the largest in my city (Birmingham, AL), numbering nearly 12,000 people. Extremely impersonal due to the size, and full of rich people who, in my opinion, feel that they are better than other members of the church.
I recently attempted to attend my childhood church again, but there are too many bad memories at that church. Additionally, many of the members are the same members who were going there when I was a kid, and it's just awkward for me to be an adult (as opposed to the kid they once knew me as) around these same adults now, plus the fact that they all know I haven't regularly attended the church since I was 16. It's just weird...hard to explain.
I had been looking at the Roman Catholic Church for a while, but several ideas turn me off to it: The need for a priest to forgive sins (only God can forgive my sins), the heavy focus on the Virgin Mary (last I checked, Jesus is the important figure!), the idea of an infallible Pope (I only answer to God--all humans are sinful in nature, unfortunately, including the Pope), and finally, praying to patron Saints to interlude with God on your behalf (again, I only pray to God--I don't need Saints to speak to God for me when I can speak to God himself).
So yea, I have been having a hard time finding a place to call home. I think it is very important for me to find a church in which I can grow in my Christian walk.
