struggling

mrslisae · Jan 24, 2007

I have alot on my plate right now..There's my marriage,caring for my dad, dealing with all the grief of losses, and bankruptsy, and physical pain of fm and just not feeling worthy or good enough...

I'm having a hard time and really need some prayer

hypostatic · Jan 24, 2007

Praying!

inHISstepsalways · Jan 24, 2007

Abba Father, I lift this beloved child of Yours before Your Holy throne, I ask that You bless her abundantly, that You increase her territory, and that Your hand is with with her in all she does and keep her from evil. In Jesus name I pray, in Jesus name I am forgiven, and in Jesus name I am saved. Amen and Amen :prayer:

mrslisae · Jan 24, 2007

Thanks. I'm just having such a rough night. I prayed myself to sleep and slept for maybe twenty minutes. I'm just completely worn.

My friend's b'day is coming up. She would have been fifty two this year. I'm dying inside. My heart aches so much.

I wake up and I grieve for my friend who will never call me on the phone again.

I go out and see a big truck and my mind wanders to the wreck site and I grieve for my bro n law.

I see a group of teens playing ball and I grieve for my friend who was murdered.

I drive by my old church and I grieve for the pastor who was murdered. Then I grieve for the family who I know personally who are losing their son to the death penalty.

I miss my grandmother though she's been gone for over ten years now.

I grieve for the mother I had and for the one I always hoped I'd have but never did.

I hear a particular song and I grieve for the friend who I was officially friends with for just a few hours before she passed.

I grieve for my aunt who's recently passed and I still cry when I pass by her house and there's no one to go talk to anymore.

Then I grieve some more for my best friend and that leads me back to her birthday is coming up.

I want to write about my pain, but I can't seem to do that. My two mentors in life have also passed within the past two years. They supported me. I don't have that anymore.

When I watch my child playing, I imagine what it would be like if all three of my children were there playing. Then I force myself to be thankful for the one who is.

I see so much suffering around me. I watch my sister and niece try to move on without a husband and dad.

I watch my dad try to move on without my mother and I watch him suffer through this skin cancer and now a blood clot surgery. I do all I can to care for him and make life a little easier but I worry..Its only a matter of time before my sister takes him hours away and I never see him again.

I watch my FIL suffer endless pain and I watch my MIL struggle against her own pain to care for him.

I watch my husband walk through life full of anger and hopelessness.

I suffer silently with my own muscle pain and confusion. I desire to live somewhere other than a cold dark basement but life just won't let us get a break.

I cry all the time but nobody knows it because nobody cares.

Some days I think, my little girl is the only one in this world who would miss me if I were gone.

I'm struggling so hard. Life is so hard. I'm so tired. Its like the song, I'm dying inside but nobody knows it but me. Its horrible. I just can't get happy. Just when I do, something else goes wrong, someone else dies.

I just can't take anymore!

JacobsDream · Jan 25, 2007

Father you said that your strength shows in our weakness.
Strengthen and encourage her as only you can, she can do all things through Christ which strengthens her.
We ask that by your favor and strength, she overcomes all that is facing her to the glory of your name.
Strengthen her marriage and may they together put you first in everything in Jesus name.

anitachew · Jan 25, 2007

dearest Father, strenghtern Your daughter here with. may she know no matter what happens You are right beside her. Amen

Rut · Jan 25, 2007

I shall pray :prayer:

jacquidube · Jan 25, 2007

If you can sweetheart, listen to the song Awesome God. I am praying that the words in the song can help you reach out to the one who truly loves you and when you cry He is there for you.

I want to be there for you too. I can feel your pain. I also feel the love you have for your daughter. You have been through so much and I know there is nothing anyone can say to you to bring you comfort.

You know God is there for you but you cant see Him and thats what makes it so difficult.

You are here for a reason, though you cant see that right now. Life is so unfair but I believe God has something for you. You are precious in his sight and so is your daughter.

Its hard when we cant touch someone we have loved on earth. Just a touch of God's hand will heal you. Just reach out and He will be there for you.

I want to whisk you away to a place of safety and take care of you and your daughter. My heart cries out for you and God will hear all of the prayers that are said for you.

You can pm if you like. I will be here for you.

covenantwmn · Jan 25, 2007

Father God, I lift my sister up to You. I ask that You raise her above her circumstances and give her joy in the face of all that she lost. Your Word says we are seated in the heavenlies with Christ, I pray that You help my sister to have a heavenly perspective and find total comfort and peace in You. I ask that You minister to her tender and hurting heart, let Your love and presence be a healing balm that strengthens, encourages and restores to her the joy of her salvation. I ask that You meet every need she and her family have, that You heal relationships, lighten burdens and give her a hunger for Your Word and Your people, others in the body are able and willing to be Your hands, feet and voice when we are in distress. Thank You Father for Your care and love towards us, in Jesus' name, amen.
in Him, Leslie

TexasGirl06 · Jan 25, 2007

buzymom said:
I have alot on my plate right now..There's my marriage,caring for my dad, dealing with all the grief of losses, and bankruptsy, and physical pain of fm and just not feeling worthy or good enough...

I'm having a hard time and really need some prayer

Heavenly Father...
Lord of all.
King of Kings..
You are worthy of all our Praise !

I lift buzymom to you this day.
Father...you know all of her struggles in detail.

May You be glorified in her weakness.
As she leans on you,
May others see You.

Reassure buzymom that she is your child.
A child of the Living God !
Adopted by You !
Can there be anything better?

May buzymom feel your presence today.
May she be directed to Your Word...
to your many promises.

You have never failed to keep your promises.
May she know you are right there with her.
Every moment.

In the Name of the Most High...
I pray.

mrslisae · Jan 25, 2007

thanks. todays a little better. i'm not in a panic attack but still feeling really low. i can't bear the thought of my dad leaving. i see him every day and i do his laundry,cleaning, errands, i work at his shop, i just can't imagine his living so far away.

12345678and9 · Jan 25, 2007

The Empty Alabaster
The alabaster of my vitality is broken,
and my life is now torn from shreds of despair.
My heart mourns as no words can be spoken
and from this damage, dear God, can you repair?

This anguish, my breath still, shallow,
and my will to persevere is close to end.
That within the confines of your trust I follow
and my soul is yours to bless and renew again.

This tear in my heart is gaping, so painful,
and I pray that you fill it with your light.
My essence is trampled from this burden I pull
and my life needs your armor in this fight.

My alabaster is empty, it's lost its savor
and these trials bring the depths of who I am.
That God seals my heart with the thread of the Savior,
that my life, and my alabaster will be filled again.

:hug:

mrslisae · Jan 25, 2007

Very Touching..thankyou..

My last poem was written the week after the first two deaths in 04. I self published it, sold a few copies, and then hid it away.

laactor · Jan 25, 2007

I'm Praying for you. Hold tight to God and he will be tthere for you. Lord, Bless this woman and her marriage. Lay your hands on them and give them strengh. Amen

12345678and9 · Jan 25, 2007

buzymom said:
Very Touching..thankyou..

My last poem was written the week after the first two deaths in 04. I self published it, sold a few copies, and then hid it away.

Through writing and prayer you find a peacefulness that only God can provide. That is why I write.

Every trial has an ending and every new story in your life has a beginning :clap:

mrslisae · Jan 25, 2007

12345678and9 said:
Through writing and prayer you find a peacefulness that only God can provide. That is why I write. Every trial has an ending and every new story in your life has a beginning

I used to believe this. I'm not so sure now. It seems each day brings more sorrow.

12345678and9 · Jan 25, 2007

buzymom said:
I used to believe this. I'm not so sure now. It seems each day brings more sorrow.

I have been through so many things I could write a trilogy :swoon:

...tests and trials strengthen you. Are they horrible, yes, but they have a purpose and a meaning. God holds your heart and if you truly love Him he will mend it at the right time and will show you the meaning of what you go through. I just came through a very tough time and I came out of it stronger and more humble then I have ever been.

SunMessenger · Jan 25, 2007

Father I Come To Ask For Relief For This Person. I Ask For Your Miraculous Holy Spirit To Enter And Meet All Needs. I Know You Hear Us Father And I Know To Expect A Miracle. In Jesus Name I Pray. Amen

jwalker289 · Jan 25, 2007

Father, be with our sister, guide her and lead her along the path you have set out for her. Let your peace be on her. Please comfort her heart. Amen

mrslisae · Jan 25, 2007

Thanks everyone..My dad's blood baggy fell off so I gotta run him to the hospital to have that checked out....Please keep those prayers coming...I've been fighting with hubby all morning and am just at the point of ......huh!

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