Crying Out

onebit

Regular Member
Dec 12, 2004
284
37
47
In Heaven
Visit site
✟8,112.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Brothers and Sisters,

Many of you know that God has been doing a work lately and that I have been going through difficulty as well. I am really hurting inside. I have been going through a battle for years that no one, including myself has been able to understand. It has mostly been an inner battle that I have privately been voicing to God. This problem unfortunately got the doctors involved, against my will, because of mental weakness. These doctors only came to me with worldly wisdom, being not Christian, and made matters worse. They out of their carnal minds do not believe in strongholds and the spiritual aspect of the Christian battle and rather diagnosed me with a incurable desease called scitzophrenia. I chose to leave work one day because I was having trouble believing God about many aspect of the Christian Faith. I have experienced Jesus and have been born again. The battle at that time was on believing I was forgiven. It was so difficult in my mind that I continually was brought to confusion. I left work and became homeless quite quickly. I was living off of savings in my car in the mountains. I was crying out to God about this weakness. Without the foundation of forgiveness their is only chaos and no joy. I was in the mountains praying when a man came up and asked if I was O.K.. I could not see that he had faith in God and chose rather not ot share. He called state patrol on me and reported me as despondant and posibly suicidal. I was hurting but not suicidal. This was not the road I wanted to take. I was aprehended against my will and forced into a mental hospital. I was approached by kind, well meaning doctors. I made a big mistake. I thought they were Christian because they approached with guenuine concern. The battle at that time, and one I still battle to a lesser degree now, was discerning the voice of God and trusting him. I had been listening for the Holy Spirit, and was quite new to this, when an evil Spirit approached me and pretended to be God. I got confused and quickly discerned that it wasn't God. I was frustrated because this kept happening. I was honestly seeking God as to ask what my problem was with believing him and the resulting confusion and chaos. I needed answers. Well I shared this whole thing with non-beleiving doctors. They haistily said I was hearing voices and had scitzophrenia. This whole thing escolated. My family was notified. They too are for the most non-believers. They believed the doctors. No one would take me in unless I went on medication. I contended that I did not have a mental illness. I therefor was released to a homeless shelter and was homeless for two weeks. Finally my mom took me in. She immediately had me escorted by police back to the hospital again because she believed the doctors. Taking me in was a plot to get me on meds. By this time I was so exausted mentally from all the words spoken to me that I started to believe them. Once I believed I had this desease the devil just pounded me with evil thoughts. I didn't fight them anymore because I thought it was the desease. This got worse. I actually became quite spiritually afflicted to where I was losing my ability to speak and walk. The Lord continued to show me, through the psalms, that I needed deliverance. Fortunately I met a man that operates in the discernment and power of the Holy Ghost. He set me free from what was then total confusion and spiritual oppression. I have gone through much healing since and am doing tons better. Have been working again. Praise God!

One thing still remains. I still have problems making decisions and trusting what God has shown me in His word. I lack confidance and this causes me to have great social hinderances because I am constantly going over all the scriptures in my mind to build myself up and I am rarely free this doubt. I know that I am accepted and righteous through Christ. That was something he has done in me over the past years. This is more confidence then I have had. I also have trouble with fear when Jesus speaks to me and it is difficult to listen and trust what he says. Making the solutions he gives me something difficult to believe. I have come to know that when we face doubts these can be strongholds caused by wounds we have recieved from childhood. When I was growing up my father was an alcoholic. He constantly was on my back telling me how I was doing things wrong. I can remember spending hours trying to put everything together rightly in my mind so I could have the confidence to approach him about whatever I was going to talk to him about. He always tore me apart and had something to show me that was wrong. When I was in high school I remember feeling that I was wronge about everything. Later in my life it resulted in constantly feeling that I had either did something wronge or was doing something wronge. Once when I was 23 my dad and I got in a fight. He bullied me, and was jesting me to a fight. He was drunk. He kept bringing up the past until I was sitting on the floor in complete confusion weeping with my head in my lap. I have learned to walk away now. I have felt wronge all the time. Last night Jesus was telling me in quiet time that my upbringing has created in me a stronghold that the enemy is withstanding me with. I have had such a weakened mind that I don't have the confidence to believe that I am right on certain scriptures causing me to doubt my conclusions on the scriptures and the revelations God has given me for fear that I am wrong. It is a constant nagging thought. It is as if I am constantly fearing that I am missing something about many different topics in our faith. There are so many things that are hindered by this that some days I have doubts about so many things that I don't have confidence to go out into public or be with family and freinds and I just isolate in my basement. I feel a stronge spiritual pain on my right shoulder. The feeling of oppression. I have rebuked the spirits in faith and they keep comming back. I know we have authority but my thoughts are that I need more healing and that a door needs to be close to the enemy. The empty space filled so they don't come back. This constant questioning about whether or not I understand something right or if I am wrong about somethign never leaves me at peace. It more than just careful concideration. It is a lack of confidence that I am right. Sure I understand that God is not mad at me. I just want the confidance that comes when you know that you are right about a matter. Not justification. The assurance of understanding something correctly to where you have boldness to walk in that decision. A double minded man is unstable in all ways. The devil uses this weekness to attack things like my confidence in being a completely new creation, many teaching that have been healing from my past, the authority scripture, ect. I basically have taken this stance: I now know what it is that trying to stop me now, I know it's not a mentle illness, I know that it is spiritual, and I choose to believe God any ways dispite these constant attacks. I need prayer. Any and every angle. I want desperately to begin to have confidence to be around people, begin Christian service, and eventually marry. Thank you so much if you have endured this long explanation about things of darkness. I know being children of light that sometimes these things are less desireable. I know many of you have prayed for me already. I thought that maybe giving this explanation might give you more insight on how to pray. I am choosing to stay optimistic and hopeful. God has been hearing my cries inside that have been many. Thank you. If you pray thank you. I know this alot. Don't feel like you have to take it all on. I am just needed to get out. I have committed to God and I am waiting on Him.
goodnight,
Billy
 
  • Like
Reactions: burn97

sistakrista

PLEASE, PLEASE FEED YOUR PET! THEY ARE HUNGRY!
Aug 30, 2006
2,744
219
60
by the Arch
✟11,471.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Democrat
(((((Billy)))))

Yes, that is a LOT! My heart breaks for you. Of course, I will pray for you. I believe, God will give you a clear mind. The enemy wants you to doubt, you know that!

Are you still on the meds? No matter what, PLEASE keep praying & studying the Scriptures! Jesus loves you, regardless of what any doctors say!
I'm very glad you feel safe & confident enough to post, here!
 
  • Like
Reactions: burn97
Upvote 0

JPPT1974

April Showers and Easter 2024!
Mar 18, 2004
288,806
11,532
49
Small Town, USA
✟569,139.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Politics
CA-Conservatives
Lord watch over Billy and that
He will get some help and cry out
To you and you will uplift and strengthen him
Inside out and comfort him
Grant and give him peace and understanding
Also help him to seek Chrsitian counseling
In thy name and will amen
 
Upvote 0

JoshuaM

Veteran
Jul 15, 2006
2,077
103
✟17,821.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Lord please bring Billy mature Christians that discern spiritual warfare and aren't quick to judge his situation. Send your Holy Spirit to give understanding to his family and friends. Please give him peace and strength in this and bless him. Lord I ask in Jesus name for Billy to be set free of this oppression upon Him too in Jesus Name amen
 
  • Like
Reactions: covenantwmn
Upvote 0

ArcticFox

To glorify God, and enjoy him forever.
Sep 27, 2006
1,197
169
Japan
Visit site
✟17,152.00
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Married
Lord, we pray a special blessing upon Billy, that you would fill him with confidence in your Word and in the truth of the gospel message, that salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. Make Billy to know in his heart that there is forgiveness for those who come to Christ in faith, and that Christ cannot deny such a person, for you Lord are always faithful, even if we are faithless.

Lord, give diligence and focus to Billy so as to maintain a consistent standard of living so as to be able to have resources to bless others. Lord, if it is your will, show Billy where he can help minister to others, perhaps using his experiences to help others who are in similar situations.

God, we know when it is like to be uncertain and sacred; give Billy that deep seated confidence of your love and faithfulness to him, and be for him the Rock of Ages. AMEN
 
Upvote 0

printerr

Regular Member
Aug 22, 2005
117
18
Tennessee
✟7,837.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Lord Jesus, I come to You today to thank You for Billy. I pray that You will continue to work in his life as You see fit. I ask that You tear down the enemy's strongholds within him, and loose unto him the gifts that You have prepared for him. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ to cover Billy, and ask that You send Your angels of confidence and faith to surround him. I ask an extra angel of protection to be placed by his right shoulder, with a sword tipped in the blood of Jesus, to fight off the enemy as You see fit, Lord. I place Billy into Your hands, for I know that You are faithful, and for this I thank You. In Your heavenly and holy name I pray this. Amen.
 
Upvote 0

SunMessenger

Devoted To The Holy Spirit Of God
Apr 27, 2006
163,144
13,244
New England
✟202,816.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
~


icon18.gif
"Give Us Today Our Daily Bread"


God I Thank You For Allowing Me Another Day To Pray. In Jesus Name Please Touch Each Of Us With Your Miraculous Holy Spirit. We Need You Father . With You All Things Are Possible. I Pray In Jesus Name For Your Holy Intervention.

Amen
 
  • Like
Reactions: burn97
Upvote 0

burn97

A Bruised Reed Yet My Gentle King Loves Me Anyway
Aug 19, 2006
15,843
2,712
44
Illinois
Visit site
✟35,559.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
O My Dear Brother.. :hug:
Have you ever read the book Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer? If so, then this is a review, but I want to read you something.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the autorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm. ~Ephesians 6:12

From this scripture we see that we are in a war. A careful study of this verse informs us that our warfare is not with other human beings but with the devil and his demons. Our enemy, Satan, attempts to defeat us with strategy and deciet, through well laid plans and deliverate deception.
The devil is a liar. Jesus called him ... the father of lies and all that is false ( John 8:44). He lies to you and me. He tells us things about our selves, about other people and about circumstances that are just not true. He does not, however tell us the entire lie all at once.
He begins bombarding our mind with a cleverly devised pattern of little nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts, fears, wonderings, reasonings, and theories. He moves slowly and cautiously ( after all, well laid plans take time). Remember, he has a stragegy for his warfare. He has studied us for a long time.
He knows what we like, what we don't like. He knows our insecurities, our weaknesses and our fears. He knows what bothers us most. He is willing to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat us. One of the devil's strong points is patience.

Brother, the comes upon you with fear, with doubt, with insecurity. What ifs bombarding your mind, insecurity upon you... little by little, he lays the foundation of doubt, and slowly builds a tower of doubt so high, that you can't see over it. One brick her, one there, and though you don't see it happening, the wall between you and the Father is placed. You know what I mean, when we doubt, we can't do the will of the Father. When we're insecure, our faith is shaken, and sin sometimes enters in the backdoor. O What a clever spirit he is, what a shady character! But you brother, have been given sight to these ploys, PRAISE GOD! For though the blinds have been removed and you know now what has been happening. And you know how to tear that mighty wall down. Those strongholds are only as strong as the one behind them. And though he is mighty in strength, he's weak compared to our Lord! And by the Mighty Hand of the Lord God, those walls are coming down! The enemy binds you with fear, God has freed you! The enemy binds you with insecurity, God has freed you! The enemy binds you with doubt, God has freed you! You have been freed my dear brother! You have been saved by Gods Everlasting Amazing Incredible Wonderful Grace.
Now let that Perfect Grace define you! Wash in it, bass in it's glory, drink it, let your soul drown in it!
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he mighty show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. ~ Ephesians 2:4-9

Now look how grace defines us: We are
*spiritually alive: He Gave Us Life (v.5)
*heavenly pospitioned: Seated With Him In The Heavenly Realms (v.6)
*connected to God: One With Christ Jesus (v6)
*billboards of mercy: Examples Of The Incredible Wealth Of His Favor And Kindness towards Us (v7)
*honored children: God Saved You By His Special Favor(v8)

Let His Grace Billy, define you. Not the world, not the views of others. As grace sinks in, earthly lables fade. Society lables you like a can on the assembly line: Stupid, Unproductive, Slow learner, Fast talker, Quiter, Cheapskate, Handsome, Cleaver, Secessful, Efficient, whatever their label, you know you aren't who they say you are. You are who God says you are. Spiritually alive, Heavenly positioned, Connected to the Father, A billboard of mercy, An honored Child.
What your earthly father did to you, God won't. His mistakes God will never make. To him, You are the 'lost sheep that when He found, he threw a part for' You're that important to Him! Heaven rejoices each time you come before the throne of mercy, seeking forgiveness, seeking strength, seeking help, seeking to worship, to honor to praise Him. That chorus is just for you Billy, because You are the Child of the Most High, and nothing can take you away from Him!
These Strongholds that Satan has placed inside you, the Father will break down, just believe, keep your faith.
Remember in Mark 5, Jairus's daughter. When they were told that she was dead, Jesus turned to Jairus and said ' Don't be afraid; just believe.
Believe my brother, believe that these strongholds will be broken and they will! Trust Your Father, for He will not dissappoint you! I pray that it will be swift, but most of the time, it's little by little. Remember how God helped the Israelites defeat the enemy, He didn't do it in one moment, but over time, it took time, so that they knew it wasn't them who were defeating the enemy, but God, in His time! Just stand and know that the Lord will fight for you!
Always in my prayers!
Jennifer

Almighty Father, let Your Hand be upon our brother Billy at this moment. Let Your Strength fill him O Wonderful Lord, let Your Grace and Your Love wash over him, filling every part of his soul with Your Spirit. Let this day Lord God, be a day of renewal, in his body, in his mind and in his soul.
Father, heal the hurt that is upon him, the betrayal of those close to him. Let him forgive Lord God, like You have forgiven. Let him no longer be burdened by the past, but let him walk confidently into the future that You have for him. Speak peace into his life, let the strongholds of fear, of anger, of depression, of anxiety, of loss, of resentment, no longer control the man You created him to be Lord. Slice the chains which tie him to these emotions. Let Your Mighty Sword come upon these bonds to the old, releasing him to the new creation that You have made him.
O Satan, you come against my brother with your doubt, with your fear, and with your ploys. You stand beside him taunting him with the past, filling him with dread and with fear. But you time has come to an end serpent of old! Flee evil oppressor! In the Mighty name of Jesus Christ, I cast You away! I cast you out of Billy! No longer let your deciet be heard. No longer let your spirits be upon him! Though you fill him with many legions, The Almighty Father, sweeps clean your demons, and casts them back to the firy depths in which they came!
Praise Be To The Father! Shout Brother, let a victory cries be heard from your lips this moment! For as the walls of Jericho came tumbling down, so does the strongholds that the enemy has placed!
Thank You Father, for Your Victory! Praise You, for in Your grace and in Your mercy, Your love and Your compassion, You give to our brother from the abundance of Your hand, filling him beyond measure. Continue O Savior, to raise Billy, continue to protect him, keepin him from all evil. In the Mighty name of Jesus Christ i pray, Amen
:prayer:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

burn97

A Bruised Reed Yet My Gentle King Loves Me Anyway
Aug 19, 2006
15,843
2,712
44
Illinois
Visit site
✟35,559.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Almighty Father, I come before You this day along side my brother. Father, You know the fears that are upon him, You know the anxiety that he has, the concerns that hold him back from being all that You created him to be. O Father, by Your Mercy, give to our brother from the abundance of You hand. Let his confidence, let his spirit, let his soul, soar in Your Presence this moment. Speak words to him Lord God, that will free him from this bondage, that will give to him peace which surpasses our understanding. O Father, though the world comes against him, though the enemies wage war against him mind, let Your Strength sustain him, let Your Arms surround him, taking him from the battle and into safety.
In this I echo the words of my brother Paul: " I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he will strengthen Bill with power through his Spirit in his inner being so that that Christ may dwell in his heart through faith. And I pray that he, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that he may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
In the Mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen
:prayer:
 
Upvote 0

GuitarGirly2007

Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2006
705
12
✟15,881.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Do not fall in the hands of your enemies.
But let Jesus hold you in his hands.

Billy can do all things through God who strengthens him.
If he just believes.

Dear God,
Give Billy clean hands.
Forgive him of his sins.
Set him free and guide him on the right path.
Let him see your great works and want to tell other about you awesome Lord.
Be with him throught this journey and make him mighty, bold, and a child of God.

In Jeus preciouse name i pray
Amen
 
Upvote 0

daisycharm

Active Member
Dec 3, 2006
117
18
✟7,828.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
:pray: Prayers for Billy.

Lord please help him to have faith and to trust in your healing ways. Lord if you send him Doctors to heal him, please help Billy to see this as your answer.

Help him Lord with all his issues. That the answers may be clear to Billy and that until they are, he will trust in you Lord.

Comfort and keep him until he is well Lord.

In your name we pray,
Amen
 
Upvote 0