Hardest Thing About being "Twenty-Something"

I can definitely relate to these responses. Mine is pretty similar.
People do suddenly seem to have expectations of you when you're in your twenties. True, I'm only at the beginning (I'm 21) but I can still feel the pressure sometimes. The funny thing is, most of the pressure is what I put on myself. I feel like (at 21) because I'm not in a relationship, that I'm "behind" all the other college kids my age somehow. Like when it comes to dating, I'm afraid I'll be seen as developmentally immature or something like that. As stupid as it sounds, I wonder if some of my friends think that about me. On the other hand, I also shouldn't care about what they think.
Otherwise, I like being twenty-one. I don't worry too much about living on my own or anything like that, because (in northeastern USA where I live) very few young adults can actually afford their own place. Everything is mind-bogglingly expensive.

I'm so glad this thread was posted because having graduated from uni and returned from a mission trip I am back living at home,doing temp jobs Im way overqualified for and pretty broke so it is interesting that a lot of people are in the situation too and it is not just me. I think one thing I am learning is to be thankful for what I do have..and not to get caught up in the worlds definition of sucess ie .good job,car, own home, spouse etc. God has a plan for my life and I should NOT measure it up against the worlds expectations of me. When you can truly say you are happy in my situation now that is true joy, not fickle happiness based on possessions and circumstances.

YP4JC said:

Okay, I know that not everyone is in their twenties (but most of you are). So anyone feel free to answer.
What is the hardest thing about being in your twenties (or whatever). Is it trying to find a job? Becoming independent? Finding "the one"?

For me, its the fact that there are so few of us in church!! In my church there are like maybe 4-6 of us!!!

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Probably living down the stupidity that you demonstrated about during your teen years. Ha ha. No, I would it is becoming independent, and all that includes such as getting married, starting a career or finding something you like doing, learning about finances the hard way, etc.

one of the hardest things for me is knowing too much to be treated like a child, but not always knowing enough to function like an efficient adult. This has led to many calls home, where my mom is going "Calm down, sweetie. I can't understand you if you're crying"....

Be patient, God's not finished with me yet.

Hey Guys,
I'm new here and found this thread great! I am 21! just about to graduate bible college next year and have been struggling so much with trying to go through college, get a degree, to get a career but also the pressure of trying to find a job (not that easy when studying full time) and the pressure to get out and support myself and become independent!

I totally identify with everything every has already stated as the hardest things of being a 20 year old but I also think its the whole liquidity of this age, where nothing is set in stone and everything is still so uncertain and unkown yet the pressure to make it all come together is so there in your face that you wish it would all just come together and become real and attainable and just happen.

At the same time I think being 20 something is great because you are at a position in your life where you get to make decisions, you get to make choices and you get to plan out your life and make it happen and you have the rest of your life ahead of you to do whatever you want!

I find it hard not knowing where I will being living next. I am in school and once I graduate in the spring I will need a job, I don't want to stay in the city I am in, so I will have to move. I don't know where I will be moving too, which can be exceting, but at the same time frusterating. It is so hard to make plans.
I like being single, because I can go anywhere (in Canada) at least without having to consider what my husband's needs (add children and that is a whole nother kettle of fish).

Hmm... the top hardest I had to work through:

Living at home and while being independent, respecting my parents who I don't agree with theologically

People not wanting to take my studies seriously because I hadn't been to seminary or bible college or a yeshiva, yet the materials I use and come up with are on par with graduates from each of the institution -- more or less holding out with the big dogs in serious study.... and being taken seriously about it.

Being old enough and wise enough to hold down and do my job right, but people not wanting to "take a chance" because I seem really young, until they meet me and get past the resume.

Right now.... getting ready to move overseas as a non-military citizen of the USA and not freaking out about it. LOL

Moving away from home!

The hardest thing about being 20 years old is not living at home anyone to be indepedent. Having to go to school and work everyday to make a living. Not having a car so I have to take the bus everyday. Another hard thing about 20 years old is making decisions on my own where when I was younger elders would tell me what to do and not what to do.

socialite said:

Hey Guys,
I'm new here and found this thread great! I am 21! just about to graduate bible college next year and have been struggling so much with trying to go through college, get a degree, to get a career but also the pressure of trying to find a job (not that easy when studying full time) and the pressure to get out and support myself and become independent!

I totally identify with everything every has already stated as the hardest things of being a 20 year old but I also think its the whole liquidity of this age, where nothing is set in stone and everything is still so uncertain and unkown yet the pressure to make it all come together is so there in your face that you wish it would all just come together and become real and attainable and just happen.

At the same time I think being 20 something is great because you are at a position in your life where you get to make decisions, you get to make choices and you get to plan out your life and make it happen and you have the rest of your life ahead of you to do whatever you want!

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Hi...nice to meet you! Glad you found this thread. It's really been great for me to know that most twenty-somethings feel the same way as me. It's almost enough to make me wish I was fourteen or fifteen again!

Not to take from the value of this thread, but i think being in my 20's is incredibly empowering. You can do anything at 20 something.
I love all of the independance and freedom age has brought to my life.

Where did the sense of adventure go? Come-on people!!!

I haven't lost my sense of adventure to be honest, I'm a very adventurous person. But being tied down to work, living at home with family that have the same disability as self (and one worse off than the rest of us), as well as differences in theology at home- creates a bit of... static.

I move out in 7 months, marrying and moving to a whole 'nother country.. and not as a military dependant this time.. I say that's adventure!

I'm planning a wedding, and *that* is an adventure too

But sometimes life just - as they say on Nationwide Insurance commercials... "Live comes at you fast..."

Sometimes you slow down and you realise "whoa, nelly! where am I? What happened?"



There are hard things about being in one's twenties and not being totally independent, especially when your parents are "Oh, well do what you want" and then in the next 10 minutes "You don't include us in your plans, what are you up to?" or "we need you here"... or "these are the rules, no"

So there's the fine balance of respecting your elders and disagreeing with them...

This is something, I can totally relate to. Im 26yrs old and still living at home. I have a decent job and a nice car. All the people I know at work are always telling me, I should move out and find a girlfriend. Im at the point in my life where everything is left up to God. Its on his timing and whatever happens, happens.

Well right now I have no clue what I want to with my life. I do want to go into ministry, but people keep telling me I should have a backup plan and get a good career. I probably will do that just in case. I don't really know what I'm doing right now honesly. I'm kind of floating around, and I feel like I'm suppose to be doing something more.
Oh and like the OP said about the whole church thing. Yea, there is like only 3 other young adults at my church, but at least their cool people. But, at the same time I'm learning to be content with what I do have.

Yeah, for the last 3 years, I'm constantly been interrogated by people about whether I've decided my career plan yet! That can get annoying

Especially because with some people to say u simply don't know yet doesn't seem like the socially acceptable answer! xx

Tuffguy said:

Not to take from the value of this thread, but i think being in my 20's is incredibly empowering. You can do anything at 20 something.
I love all of the independance and freedom age has brought to my life.

Where did the sense of adventure go? Come-on people!!!

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Yeh I think a lot of us are just a bit restricted by family and financial situations

Hopefully I will get to go travelling for a month or so next year..I went to live in America's most dangerous city in good ol' NJ for 9 months so I certainly agree it is great to be in your 20s and have a sense of adventure!I definitely have that I used to look out my window every day and marvel at the fact that I was actually living in America..and the 'ghetto' as well! I agree that being in your 2os and single,no kids is a GREAT place to be. I feel sorry for my friends who married or had kids in their early 20s.

The hardest thing I'm finding is having the university degree, the career, and earning the money, then realising that I still don't know where I want to go in life.

LonneWolf said:

This is something, I can totally relate to. Im 26yrs old and still living at home. I have a decent job and a nice car. All the people I know at work are always telling me, I should move out and find a girlfriend. Im at the point in my life where everything is left up to God. Its on his timing and whatever happens, happens.

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I stacked my priorities differently. Move out, go to school, get a degree, pay it off, buy a new bike.

I just hate the whole, "when are you going to move out?" thing. -_- I am not made of money. Why don't people understand that being an adult doesn't mean just diving out of your parents' house right away? I am financially unable to afford a place without having to compensate food/car bills/ etc. When the time comes, I'll move out. But it's not time yet.

PsycheCeltic said:

I just hate the whole, "when are you going to move out?" thing. -_- I am not made of money. Why don't people understand that being an adult doesn't mean just diving out of your parents' house right away? I am financially unable to afford a place without having to compensate food/car bills/ etc. When the time comes, I'll move out. But it's not time yet.

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fair enough sounds sensible!

I lived away for 3 years at uni. There are advantages to doing both, but the freedom and independence u get moving away is great, u can live how u like without people nagging at you.

Is good to be sensible and plan things though - if it lands u into debt/financial crisis, then its definetely not worth it. Problems like that can be horrible and depressing, which u wana stay well away from if u can avoid it! Good luck with everything xx