You just Dr. Phil'd me!

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Krysstian

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I don't understand some people. I just simply talk about how I feel and then all of the sudden I'm getting a psychological review. I laughed and get upset because I don’t know where this comes from in the first place. Every since I was a little girl people always told me how I felt.

I made a decision to do something that I KNOW will help my relationship with Jesus Christ. My decision so happened to be about men. Well I told all my other male friends and they agreed. I tell this one guy all of the sudden I’m miserable, bitter, haters of men, or whatever. LMBO! I don’t get it. I told him the majority of African American males are not interested in having a strong relationship with Christ. They sure love to act like it but deep down in they hearts they really don’t want to serve Christ. Look at our black males…where are they mostly? In music videos degrading black women. It’s a fact, not a bitter statement.

My decision was to not talk to men period. I’m not talking about when I go to work not speak to male employees or male patients. I’m talking about my personal life. I find myself dependant in men in some areas in my life. I don’t want it like that, I want to depend on God in every area, every aspect, and in every need of my life. I believe it will be easier for me if I didnt have any men in my personal for the time being.

So why do people Dr. Phil me when I decide to do what’s right? Let me do something wrong, oh, they can have miles of conversation.
 

tonysma

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I don't understand some people. I just simply talk about how I feel and then all of the sudden I'm getting a psychological review. I laughed and get upset because I don’t know where this comes from in the first place. Every since I was a little girl people always told me how I felt.

I made a decision to do something that I KNOW will help my relationship with Jesus Christ. My decision so happened to be about men. Well I told all my other male friends and they agreed. I tell this one guy all of the sudden I’m miserable, bitter, haters of men, or whatever. LMBO! I don’t get it. I told him the majority of African American males are not interested in having a strong relationship with Christ. They sure love to act like it but deep down in they hearts they really don’t want to serve Christ. Look at our black males…where are they mostly? In music videos degrading black women. It’s a fact, not a bitter statement.

My decision was to not talk to men period. I’m not talking about when I go to work not speak to male employees or male patients. I’m talking about my personal life. I find myself dependant in men in some areas in my life. I don’t want it like that, I want to depend on God in every area, every aspect, and in every need of my life. I believe it will be easier for me if I didnt have any men in my personal for the time being.

So why do people Dr. Phil me when I decide to do what’s right? Let me do something wrong, oh, they can have miles of conversation.
you know we are just women, we don't know what is best for ourselves...chuckle...
 
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JTLauder

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Not to "Dr. Phil" you again, but the reason you may be getting a lot of that is because when you make grand generalizations like that (not ever talking to men personally), there is usually a personal reason behind such an overencompassing and strong resolve in deciding to do that.

I'll just leave it at that. You know your reasons, and whatever has lead you to that conclusion. May it work out for you or if not, then I hope you will find peace with it some day.
 
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Krysstian

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Not to "Dr. Phil" you again, but the reason you may be getting a lot of that is because when you make grand generalizations like that (not ever talking to men personally), there is usually a personal reason behind such an overencompassing and strong resolve in deciding to do that.

I'll just leave it at that. You know your reasons, and whatever has lead you to that conclusion. May it work out for you or if not, then I hope you will find peace with it some day.

See, I never said "never". I said for the time being! I know my weakness and I know how Satan attacks me, and its through men. I have a weakness when it comes to men. In order FOR ME to get over that weakness I made a decision to not talk to men for a period of time so I can train myself to DEPEND on GOD in EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE! (I'm not yelling, just words that need to be notice).....Sometimes I look to men to fulfill certain needs...and they never do so..I think I will try Jesus
 
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TrustingmyLord

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As far as "Dr Philling" goes, IMO it works like this, if you tell me something, just in wanting to talk or share your decision, I just listen. If you ask for advice, or say "what do you think" then I am free to "Dr. Phil" you, unless you ask me to stop.

From reading books on marriage, one thing seems to come up over and over again... many times a girl just wants to talk, but a man hears a problem and immediately want to "fix" it. Since it was men you were talking to, that could be their problem. Hmm, so now am I "Dr Philling" them???

The decisions you make, they are for you to make, I wouldnt worry much about what others think especially if its a decision that isnt effecting them. Pray about it and do what you feel led to do.
 
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I don't understand some people. I just simply talk about how I feel and then all of the sudden I'm getting a psychological review. I laughed and get upset because I don’t know where this comes from in the first place. Every since I was a little girl people always told me how I felt.

I made a decision to do something that I KNOW will help my relationship with Jesus Christ. My decision so happened to be about men. Well I told all my other male friends and they agreed. I tell this one guy all of the sudden I’m miserable, bitter, haters of men, or whatever. LMBO! I don’t get it. I told him the majority of African American males are not interested in having a strong relationship with Christ. They sure love to act like it but deep down in they hearts they really don’t want to serve Christ. Look at our black males…where are they mostly? In music videos degrading black women. It’s a fact, not a bitter statement.

My decision was to not talk to men period. I’m not talking about when I go to work not speak to male employees or male patients. I’m talking about my personal life. I find myself dependant in men in some areas in my life. I don’t want it like that, I want to depend on God in every area, every aspect, and in every need of my life. I believe it will be easier for me if I didnt have any men in my personal for the time being.

So why do people Dr. Phil me when I decide to do what’s right? Let me do something wrong, oh, they can have miles of conversation.

Pardon me for stating the obvious but, if you've made the decision to focus on, and nurture your relationship with Christ, who cares what these people are saying? They are clearly not interested in helping you grow in your love for God so why would you be so concerned with what they think of you that you'd come to a public message board asking why they would do that? It seems like a pretty simple thing to figure out. People are selfish Krysstian. When people do things that selfish people feel affects them, they do and say ungodly things. Not sure what part of that is confusing you.

I'm curious. Are you truly confused about this or are you just seeking attention by complaining about getting to much attention? I only ask because I have seen a number of threads from you regarding your decision to refrain from intimate relationships with guys at this point in your life and how you seem to be confused about the way people, and guys in particular, respond to this decision. I am beginning to wonder why you keep feeling the need to bring your decision up. Who cares what people think. If you've made a decision, put it into effect and let it happen.
 
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Krysstian

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I made a decision to do something that I KNOW will help my relationship with Jesus Christ. My decision so happened to be about men. Well I told all my other male friends and they agreed. I tell this one guy all of the sudden I’m miserable, bitter, haters of men, or whatever. LMBO! I don’t get it. I told him the majority of African American males are not interested in having a strong relationship with Christ. They sure love to act like it but deep down in they hearts they really don’t want to serve Christ. Look at our black males…where are they mostly? In music videos degrading black women. It’s a fact, not a bitter statement.

My decision was to not talk to men period. I’m not talking about when I go to work not speak to male employees or male patients. I’m talking about my personal life. I find myself dependant in men in some areas in my life. I don’t want it like that, I want to depend on God in every area, every aspect, and in every need of my life. I believe it will be easier for me if I didnt have any men in my personal for the time being.

So why do people Dr. Phil me when I decide to do what’s right? Let me do something wrong, oh, they can have miles of conversation.

Pardon me for stating the obvious but, if you've made the decision to focus on, and nurture your relationship with Christ, who cares what these people are saying? They are clearly not interested in helping you grow in your love for God so why would you be so concerned with what they think of you that you'd come to a public message board asking why they would do that? It seems like a pretty simple thing to figure out. People are selfish Krysstian. When people do things that selfish people feel affects them, they do and say ungodly things. Not sure what part of that is confusing you.

I'm curious. Are you truly confused about this or are you just seeking attention by complaining about getting to much attention? I only ask because I have seen a number of threads from you regarding your decision to refrain from intimate relationships with guys at this point in your life and how you seem to be confused about the way people, and guys in particular, respond to this decision. I am beginning to wonder why you keep feeling the need to bring your decision up. Who cares what people think. If you've made a decision, put it into effect and let it happen.[/quote]




I really dont get people. It gets to the point if something keeps happening then it has to be me. Why do people say the things they do to me or whatever else reason they feel to point out flaws (that are not even there) or whatever. I don't care what people think but words are powerful. I might not care but sometimes that thought comes to my mind wondering Why? Why would they say those things? I get it from my mother, my father gotten better but he was horrible when I was little. I look at my life and yes, I'm like a child pointing my finger at another Christian asking God why do I have to go through this ALL the time and not them? Its frustrating! Its been like this for as long as I can remember. I start thinking maybe they are doing so I wont know who I am in Christ since they are always telling me who I am and what I feel.
 
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Why do people say the things they do to me or whatever else reason they feel to point out flaws (that are not even there) or whatever. Why? Why would they say those things?

I just told you why. People are selfish. When people do things that selfish people feel affects them, they do and say ungodly things.

Just ignore them and focus on the reason you made the decision to nurture your relationship with God.
 
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Krysstian

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I just told you why. People are selfish. When people do things that selfish people feel affects them, they do and say ungodly things.

Just ignore them and focus on the reason you made the decision to nurture your relationship with God.



I'm going to have to ignore a lot of people and the majority of my family memebers. I would be down to just me myself and I if I did that...

About me with the opposite sex..that is still something I'm trying to figure out. A part of me tells me that I'm not meant to be witht he opposite sex (as far as marriage) I've been celibate for 2 1/2 - 3 years now (losst count I know for a fact over 2 years) and I don't get along with men when I try to get emoitionally involved or any other type of feelings above friendship...They blame me which its fine, I don't mind getting the blame because it might just be me. I try to evaluate myself according to 2 Corinthians 13:5 5Examine and test and evaluate your own selves to see whether you are holding to your faith and showing the proper fruits of it. Test and prove yourselves [[a]not Christ]. Do you not yourselves realize and know [thoroughly by an ever-increasing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you--unless you are [counterfeits] disapproved on trial and rejected?

I never had a decent relationship with a man, black, white, green, yellow, whatever color...so I apologize...if you think I may be trying to get attention. Who knows I might be...HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME IM THE GIRL WITH THE MILLIONS OF QUESTIONS...:-D
 
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TrustingmyLord

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You dont have to ignore THEM, just ignore the rude stuff, the stuff that bothers you. let it go. Dont let the way they act determine they way YOU act, dont let it affect your attitude and behavior.

People are just like this. It isnt that all the people in your life are just out to get you, and you are the only one to ever feel this way. We ALL deal with this kind of stuff. Every one of us.
 
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JTLauder

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Krysstian,

If you've decided to dedicate your life in growing your relationship with Jesus Christ--that is absolutely fantastic. But it really doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing deal. Relationships with people (not just romantically with the opposite sex) are important too. God did not create us to be isolated islands.

Now, if you are content in your decision to not talk to men personally for the time being, then that is fine. As Reformationist said, just don't fret too much over what other people say or do about you because it really doesn't matter what they think or say. If you are secure where you are in life personally, mentally and spiritually, be confident of your conscious decisions on how you want to live your life.

But here's the thing. If you have been bringing it up repeatedly in these boards (I don't know because I haven't seen them), very likely you have probably been bringing it up a lot in other boards and probably elsewhere in you life too. Plus, from the tone of your initial message, you don't sound very much at peace with your decision, but really troubled and in somewhat turmoil--either turmoil from the responses you get from people, or insecurity from your decision to say away from men personally, or perhaps both. (Don't say I'm trying to "Dr. Phil" you; I'm just making an observation which I assume I am free to make because you've posted this in a public forum.)

You are obviously trying to reach out--why else the repeated posts on public forums. Now the question is, why? What do you want? What is it that you hope to gain from these messages?

Do you want understanding and support for your decision? Do you want justification and validation for it? Do you want God to smite down and strike all the men around you in retribution? Or do you want someone to convince you otherwise, to say to you that yeah there are a lot of insensitive people (both men and women) out there, but hey, we've all been there and we're not all bad.

Jesus is at the door of your heart and is asking, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32)
 
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Krysstian

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But here's the thing. If you have been bringing it up repeatedly in these boards (I don't know because I haven't seen them), very likely you have probably been bringing it up a lot in other boards and probably elsewhere in you life too. Plus, from the tone of your initial message, you don't sound very much at peace with your decision, but really troubled and in somewhat turmoil--either turmoil from the responses you get from people, or insecurity from your decision to say away from men personally, or perhaps both. (Don't say I'm trying to "Dr. Phil" you; I'm just making an observation which I assume I am free to make because you've posted this in a public forum.)

You are obviously trying to reach out--why else the repeated posts on public forums. Now the question is, why? What do you want? What is it that you hope to gain from these messages?

Do you want understanding and support for your decision? Do you want justification and validation for it? Do you want God to smite down and strike all the men around you in retribution? Or do you want someone to convince you otherwise, to say to you that yeah there are a lot of insensitive people (both men and women) out there, but hey, we've all been there and we're not all bad.

Jesus is at the door of your heart and is asking, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32)



I did post the same topic in two different boards. I’m consider in this world a non denominational and I do believe in the Pentecost, being spirit filled and I’m charismatic. So that is why I post in the other rooms. Um…I’m at peace with the decision I made, I just get a lot of negativity from people about this. When it comes to life my concern is if I meant to be married or not. There are some people in the bible that never married and just serve God and serve others.

It’s always been that way, as soon as I feel like the Lord blessed me with something or wants me to do something…I get treated as if I’m the most cold hearted being in the world. Who cares, I just would like to know what do Kryss do that is so wrong that makes people want to observe me. Is it because they don’t understand me?

I repeated the post in two separate rooms because of the division in the body of Christ. Reach out on Christian Forums? Um, no. I like this because it gives me an opportunity to get ideas, advice, or whatever else people bless me with that I have not thought of or experience. There are a lot of talented people on here. If I get support, cool, if I get understanding, cool. God to smite down all men, uh no. Why would I do that? Lol, just because I choose to go on this fast don’t mean anything. I still love men, especially my black men, I just don’t like them, and I don’t have to deal with the nonsense. It’s starting to penetrate in my relationship with Christ and that’s not smart. Plus I need to learn to not have men get in away with my relationship with Christ. I did have some other post about someone being single for life, and celibacy. I don’t meet too many men who don’t say “Sell-a-bit, I’ll buy-a-bit”. Its just one thing in my life that I don’t get. That is relationships. I didn’t even start communication with people outside my home or family until I was 14. lol so I’m slow on certain topics.
 
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