About my wife,some questions

Does your wife take medication? It seems odd but as bad as we may feel when we are depressed at least we know what to expect. There is definite uncertaintity in moving forward and it's scary. If she isn't meds maybe it's time to vist a doctor or counselor. I know without medication and counsleing I would not have worked through my depression.

I agree that this seems to be a situation where medication is a real option. So is professional counseling.

One of the things that really helped me dealing with depression was reading prayer books. When depressed it is so hard to focus on what to say in my prayers. But reading the prayers in books helped a lot. Many of those prayers included the Psalms. I read them aloud as prayers of my own. It really helped.

Another thing that helps some people (in addition to medication and professional counseling) is going for walks. You could see if she would go on walks with you.

Dear Paladin,

I, like your wife, have (and do) deal with depression. I did not quit my job, but have been on disability since March of this year. (the pay is ALOT less than I was making and this "worries" my husband) My husband, like you, didn't know "what to do".

It's, I believe, not that your wife doesn't want to give it all to God completely...it's sometimes one just can't. No matter what one does it seems that there is a dark cloud between the depressed person and God. Sometimes one does not feel like praying, reading Gods Word, actually, doesn't feel like doing anything!

Many times when my husband asked me to do something like take a walk, I couldn't pull myself off the couch to go.

What you can do???... continue to love her, continue to pray for her (just because she "hasn't changed", does not mean God isn't listening to your prayers, In His Time He will answer, probablly for more than you asked for ), complement her on her positive attributes.

A Wife Whose Been There

You most definately need a break too. Be there as much as you can for your wife. But you also need to take time for yourself. You can't fall into the same trap. Consider to your wife to get some couseling, you could both do it together. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too.

Paladin21 said:

Thanks for the encouraging words. She has got out of it but is back again.

I dont want to give up, and I wont its just hard sometimes...its like I need a break to.

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Borderliner is right...YOU DO NEED A BREAK !!!

My husband is involved in soceer (a game he loves), this gave him a break from me, doing something he so enjoys. He also would go out for coffee with his friend.

DO take time for yourself, "YOU DO NOT WANT TO FALL INTO THE SAME TRAP"

Keep posting your thoughts and feelings.

We're all here for you

I commend you for standing by your wife. Maybe you could try and get to the source of her problems. In my experience there is always a root to depression.

I will say a prayer for you and your marriage. I think your right, you do need a break yourself, so you can remain happy yourself. It's hard because we all pick up vibes or moods of our spouse. When my husband has a bad day, and brings it home, we all pick up the mood sometimes. To keep myself from getting his mood, I sometimes need a break and to do somethign I enjoy. It goes both ways. And sometimes the break, is all he needs to change his perspective too.

Praying for you my brother!

Depression is also spiritual and physical mentally issue.....I have been suffering this for about 5 years and quit my job, too...but actually before this 5 years i already had depression just hiding inside there...

I got this from abuse and a lot other negative emotional things.
sometimes the deep root is from childhood.

Depression people needs a lot rest, and relaxing things to do, encourage her to do something that she can handle and enjoy, do not pressure her to pray or so...depression sometimes attack faith so much. that is why needs good christian counseling too.and it takes a lot patience and time.

Its good to hear that shes doing well Paladin, I agree with Restore that make sure you dont pressure or boggle her with spiritual duties as it may only further her depression in trying to be something that she cant on her own, remind her that shes on the same level as you and that way she wont feel like she has to compete or that shes not doing enough for God, God is in control but we also have to realize that we are in control of our physical bodies we must move and act so that God will help us when we are defeated and unable to push on on our own. Also do not be quick to seek medical attention as in some cases it may be bad for the person, as you have said she is actually doing better on her own, so its a matter of if the person is able to or not, if the depression is at a critical stage then yes you can look for some medication. Im sure she means to be one with her spiritual side but dont focus on it, if something deeply rooted is holding her back and you discuss it then find a counselor to help repair some of those feelings. In any case, as some have pointed out, dont forget about urself as it is always important for the person with the current strength in the relationship to maintain it or it will just be someone unfocused helping someone unfocused, which wont be any help at all. Lastly I dont believe its this "trap" that people refered to, depression is common and its all a matter of how you approach it in terms of positive strategies or negative responses.

Pray your wife and you find more positive energy to swum around your life and learn to push the negitve out.

Depression in the Bible:

[bible]2 Samuel 22:17[/bible]

[bible]Psalm 34:18[/bible]

[bible]Psalm 60:3[/bible]

[bible]Isaiah 9:2[/bible]

[bible]Jeremiah 48:33[/bible]

Romans 4:18-22

God comforts the Depressed [bible]2 Corinthians 7:6[/bible]

Prayers here. For both of you.