Hi all!
ShalomSalaam89 said:
I'm glad his results came back good.
Thanks!
The pediatric surgeon (the chief of pediatric surgery at one of the hospitals here in Jerusalem) gave Yohanan a clean bill of health yesterday & said that we have nothing to worry about, thank God!
Whilst we're on the subject of our eldest boychik...
On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, we read I Samuel 1:1-2:10, the story of Hannah, mother of the prophet Samuel. DW & I suffer from primary & wholly unexplained infertility (i.e. DW has never become pregnant & the doctors here have absolutely no idea why, despite all the myriad tests that we did). We did lots of various fertility treatments (AIH, IVF, FET, etc.), to no avail. During the years that we were plowing through fertility treatment, i.e. failed treatment after failed treatment, listening to the reading from I Samuel on Rosh Hashanah was very, very difficult for us (especially where it says that God had shut up Hannah's womb). One, or (more often) both, of us would just break down sobbing right there in synagogue. In 1996, I remember it very well, I really thought that I had a grip on myself, that I could keep my composure. As we were about to take out the Torah scrolls out of the ark where they are kept, I thought to myself that it would be nice to hold one of the Torah scrolls (we take out two on RH) during the scriptural readings but figured that I wouldn't be called on to do so because I held one the year before & holding one of the scrolls is considered a singular honor. I had just thought this to myself when the synagogue officer who divvies out the honors said to me, "Ssv, go take out the second scroll." I flipped. I sat there clutching the (big, heavy, the rollers-are-made-from-oak Torah scroll). As the rabbi was starting to chant the reading from I Samuel, a little voice said to me, "Ssv, hold this Torah scroll tight because it's the only holy & precious thing that you'll ever get to hold." I lost it & burst into tears and really sobbed my way through the reading. Usually, I would stand for the reading (sitting for it is the norm, the two men holding the Torah scrolls
must sit). The following year, 1997, I stood for the reading and I cried again. But this time the tears were different. I stood because Yohanan, whom we adopted in May 1997 at the age of 4 months & who was then 8.5-months-old, was fast asleep on my shoulder. Just as God answered the prayers of the righteous Hannah, so too He answered ours & thus, my tears were tears of joy and gratitude to God for blessing us beyond measure with Yohanan. (And on Rosh Hashanah 2001, it was Naor who was fast asleep on my shoulder while Yohanan was running around outside.)
Rosh Hashanah begins the 10-day period known as the Days of Awe (
http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday3.htm), culminating in Yom Kippur (
http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday4.htm), our Day of Atonement, from sunset on Sunday, October 1, until nightfall on Monday, October 2.
This is the most solemn period of our year. One of the main prayers on Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur is the short
U'Netaneh Tokef (which has a fascinating history, see
http://www.ou.org/chagim/roshhashannah/unetaneh.html). The prayer's full name is
U'Netaneh Tokef Kedushat Hayom or "Let Us Tell How Utterly Holy This Day Is". It is very moving & awe-inspiring (which is most of the point; see the English text at
http://www.ou.org/chagim/roshhashannah/unetanehtext.htm). One section reads:
On Rosh Hashanah will be inscribed and on Yom Kippur will be sealed how many will pass from the earth and how many will be created; who will live and who will die; who will die at his predestined time and who before his time; who by water and who by fire, who by sword, who by beast, who by famine, who by thirst, who by storm, who by plague, who by strangulation, and who by stoning. Who will rest and who will wander, who will live in harmony and who will be harried, who will enjoy tranquillity and who will suffer, who will be impoverished and who will be enriched, who will be degraded and who will be exalted. But REPENTANCE, PRAYER and CHARITY remove the evil of the Decree!
One might say that excerpt above, except for the last line, is an eloquent testimony to a Jewish belief in predestination. Not exactly. What does the last line mean, juxtaposed to what comes before it? Our time on this earth is allotted to us, as is our end. But what we do from now until then is entirely up to us. If we flee from God and disobey Him (speaking of fleeing from, and disobeying, God, we read the Book of Jonah during afternoon prayers on Yom Kippur), if we waste our time on vain and useless things, then the decree (as to how much time we have & what our end will be) will be seen as evil. But if we use our time, however much it is, to cling to God and in good and purposeful things (all of this being summarized in the prayer as "Repentance, Prayer and Charity"), then the decree is not evil, but good and an expression of God's love for us (which is probably
the core principle of Judaism).
This principle was aptly (if somewhat crudely) summed up (believe it or not) in the 1989 film
Cousins (with Ted Danson, Isabella Rossellini & Lloyd Bridges, et. al.). In one scene, Lloyd Bridges tells his son (Ted Danson): "You've got only one life to live. You can make it chickensh*t or chicken salad." God gives us the raw material of our lives & it's up to us decide what to do with it and mold it. Too many people take what God gives them and make chickensh*t with it.
And so, on the eve of this new year, my prayer is as follows. May the new year be a time for births and not for death; for planting and not for uprooting; for healing and not for killing; for building up and not for breaking down; for laughing and not for weeping; for dancing and not for mourning; for gathering stones together and not for throwing them away (or at others); for embracing and not for not embracing; for finding things (and people) and not for losing them; for keeping and not for casting away; for sewing and not for rending; for speaking
and for keeping silent (each in its time); for loving and not for hating; and for peace (please, please God!) and not for war.
I'll add another prayer on the eve of this new year: Let's go make us some chicken salad!
Be well!
ssv
