need help restoring my faith

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ANGELMOMKaren

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Hi,
I am having a real tough time as I lost my son Matthew to cancer last year at the age of 17. I never questioned that God excisted until the death of Matthew. i am begging for help from anyone to renew my faith in God and that heaven really does exist. if there are any reading from the bible that would help me, I would so appreciate it. Also if their are any books that you can suggest to me. I am now reading a book called "heaven".

I want and need to be reassured that I will see my son again. life is so hard without him.

thankyou in advance, Matthews Mom karen
 
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Virgil the Roman

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God, does indeed exist and blesses us in many ways. God blessed you with your son for many years, so It's good to know, he's in a better place, and not suffering anymore. God bless and console in your mourning.
Sincerly,
Matt
 
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ANGELMOMKaren

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God, does indeed exist and blesses us in many ways. God blessed you with your son for many years, so It's good to know, he's in a better place, and not suffering anymore. God bless and console in your mourning.
Sincerly,
Matt
thankyou for your kind words Matt.
 
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ANGELMOMKaren

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My suggestion?

Every day, spend an hour in Eucharistic adoration pouring your heart out to Jesus and asking him to help you. If you can't do an hour do as much as you can, even if it's only 60 seconds.
thankyou for your advice, I will surely add this to my list as I will do anything and everything to restore my faith in god
 
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IAMCATHOLIC

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... if there are any reading from the bible that would help me, I would so appreciate it.

I want and need to be reassured that I will see my son again. life is so hard without him.

thankyou in advance, Matthews Mom karen

My heart and prayers go out to you Karen. May God's grace and comfort be with you in this difficult time. May your faith be strengthened and your trust in Jesus be strong.

1 Corinthians Chapter 10 vs.13
No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.
 
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vrunca

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Karen, my heart just hurts reading about your beloved son, that is an unimaginable loss! I don't have any advice of what to read, but I am sure somebody will name some books and passages...but what I can do for you is pray for you. I find a lot of strength in praying Novenas, and being before the Holy Eucharist in Adoration and the rosary and praying the memorare.

My rosary will be offered for you tonight though...again, I am a mother also and my heart just hurts for you!!
 
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Debbie61

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Hi,
I am having a real tough time as I lost my son Matthew to cancer last year at the age of 17. I never questioned that God excisted until the death of Matthew. i am begging for help from anyone to renew my faith in God and that heaven really does exist. if there are any reading from the bible that would help me, I would so appreciate it. Also if their are any books that you can suggest to me. I am now reading a book called "heaven".

I want and need to be reassured that I will see my son again. life is so hard without him.

thankyou in advance, Matthews Mom karen

:hug: :hug: :hug:

The only re-assurance that I can give to you is what helped me through the loss of my son. He died as a baby (2 1/2 months old of SIDS). The one thing that helped me find my way back to God and restore my faith was the hope of seeing my baby boy again in heaven.

When he first died, for awhile, I felt as if I was walking in the gray. Between life and death myself and that there was only a very thin veil between life and death. The loss of him hurt so deeply like nothing else. Not only emotionally, but mentally, spiritually and physically. It's like my whole being was in literal pain. It took a long time to get through that time in my life.

The grieving process is different for each person and it takes time to work through the layers of heartache and pain. I was angry at God for a very long time, which was part of my grieving process.

I believe that God is a merciful and loving God and His grace is sufficient. All we can do as mothers is hope and pray to see our babies again. It takes time.

Here are some Scriptures regarding heaven that I hope are helpful:


This subject will be treated under seven headings:
I. NAME AND PLACE OF HEAVEN

The Name of Heaven
Heaven (Anglo-Saxon heofon, O.S. hevan and himil, originally himin) corresponds to the Gothic himin-s. Both heaven and himil are formed from himin by a regular change of consonants: heaven, by changing m before n into v; and himil, by changing n of the unaccented ending into l. Some derive heaven from the root ham, "to cover" (cf. the Gothic ham-ôn and the German Hem-d). According to this derivation heaven would be conceived as the roof of the world. Others trace a connection between himin (heaven) and home; according to this view, which seems to be the more probable, heaven would be the abode of the Godhead. The Latin coelum (koilon, a vault) is derived by many from the root of celare "to cover, to conceal" (coelum, "ceiling" "roof of the world"). Others, however think it is connected with the Germanic himin. The Greek ouranos is probably derived from the root var, which also connotes the idea of covering. The Hebrew name for heaven is thought to be derived from a word meaning "on high"; accordingly, heaven would designate the upper region of the world.
In the Holy Bible the term heaven denotes, in the first place, the blue firmament, or the region of the clouds that pass along the sky. Gen., i, 20, speaks of the birds "under the firmament of heaven". In other passages it denotes the region of the stars that shine in the sky. Furthermore heaven is spoken of as the dwelling of God; for, although God is omnipresent, He manifests Himself in a special manner in the light and grandeur of the firmament. Heaven also is the abode of the angels; for they are constantly with God and see His face. With God in heaven are likewise the souls of the just (2 Corinthians 5:1; Matthew 5:3, 12). In Eph., iv, 8 sq., we are told that Christ conducted to heaven the patriarchs who had been in limbo (limbus patrum). Thus the term heaven has come to designate both the happiness and the abode of just in the next life. The present article treats as heaven in this sense only. In Holy Scripture it is called:
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/07170a.htm

As others have said, I'll keep you in my prayers too, Karen with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.

God's peace, serenity and comfort to you always,

Debbie
 
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Kasia

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Karen,
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot even fathom what you must have gone through. I am also still very young in my years so I'm not necessarily loaded with wise advice and what-not.
The only advice I can give you is to pray. It sounds cliche and obvious, but it really does do wonders. And pray the Rosary everyday if you can, I started doing that lately and it changes you.

One thing you can think about is Mary. You and Mary have a lot in common. You lost your son unwillingly, but imagine Mary's suffering when her Son willingly gave His life. I'm sure she only made it through her trials with God's grace. I really wish I knew some books that I could recommend to you on this subject, but I don't and I apolgize.

I know that this reply doesn't really answer your plea to help you restore your faith and in knowledge that Heaven exists, but it's the best I can do.

God bless you, and I will be praying for you and your son.

Kasia
 
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ANGELMOMKaren

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Karen,
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot even fathom what you must have gone through. I am also still very young in my years so I'm not necessarily loaded with wise advice and what-not.
The only advice I can give you is to pray. It sounds cliche and obvious, but it really does do wonders. And pray the Rosary everyday if you can, I started doing that lately and it changes you.

One thing you can think about is Mary. You and Mary have a lot in common. You lost your son unwillingly, but imagine Mary's suffering when her Son willingly gave His life. I'm sure she only made it through her trials with God's grace. I really wish I knew some books that I could recommend to you on this subject, but I don't and I apolgize.

I know that this reply doesn't really answer your plea to help you restore your faith and in knowledge that Heaven exists, but it's the best I can do.

God bless you, and I will be praying for you and your son.

Kasia
you are a sweet person and I thank you and will pray for you!
 
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stivvy

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I will keep you in my prayers. One thing I have learned over time and loosing many close to me is that there is a reasona nd purpose for everything. The trick is not to look for it but to wait for it. When it happens you will know it was in God's plan. Watch the movie Signs by Mel Gibson. You have to watch to the very end to get the meddage he is trying to show. But it all makes sense. :hug:
 
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Greg the byzantine

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Dear ANGELMOMkaren,

I lost my brother to Cancer when he was 9. It's extremely hard, and parts of me will never get over the fact that he is dead. However My Family and I found a lot of comfort in the fact that he no longer suffers, he has gone through so much with hospitals, surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy and he was sick of it. Here is a portion of the Memorial Service for the dead that I always remember "With the Saints give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Your servant where there is no pain, nor sorrow, nor suffering, but life everlasting." I know in my heart that God has taken him to a place where he no longer feels pain or suffering and that he basks in the Glory of God, which comforts me so much and is why this prayer is so important to me. I know I am Eastern Orthodox but this memorial for the Dead is also used by the Melkites (an Eastern Catholic Church) so I am sure they are approved by the church. This Memorial for the dead has been a source of comfort and a way for me to do something active for my brother even in his repose:

The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America said:
Priest: Blessed is our God, always, now and forever and to the ages of ages.

People: Amen.

People: Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us (3).

People: Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People: All?holy Trinity, have mercy on us. Lord, forgive our sins. Master, pardon our transgressions. Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities for the glory of Your name.

People: Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

People: Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People: Our Father, who art in heaven,hallowed be Thy name.Thy kingdom come.Thy will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.Give us this dayour daily bread;and forgive us our trespasses,as we forgive those who trespass against us.And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.

Priest: For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages.

People:Amen.

People:Among the spirits of the righteous perfected in faith, give rest, O Savior, to the soul of Your servant. Bestow upon it the blessed life which is from You, O loving Lord.

People:Within Your peace, O Lord, where all Your Saints repose, give rest also to the soul of Your servant, for You alone are Immortal.

People:Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

People:O Savior, You are our God who descended into Hades and delivered from suffering those who were bound there. Grant rest also to the soul of Your servant.

People:Now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People:Most pure and spotless Virgin, who ineffably gave birth to God, intercede with Him for the salvation of the soul of your servant.

Priest: Have mercy upon us, O God, according to Your great mercy; we pray to You, hear us and have mercy.

People: Lord, have mercy (3).

Priest: Again we pray for the repose of the soul of the departed servant of God (Name), and for the forgiveness of all his (her) sins, both voluntary and involuntary.

People: Lord, have mercy (3).

Priest: May the Lord God grant that his (her) soul rest where the righteous repose. Let us ask for the mercies of God, the kingdom of heaven, and the forgiveness of his (her) sins from Christ our immortal king and God.

People: Grant this, O Lord.

Priest: Let us pray to the Lord.

People: Lord, have mercy.

Priest: O God of spirits and of all flesh, You have trampled upon death and have abolished the power of the devil, giving life to Your world. Give rest to the soul of Your departed servant (Name) in a place of light, in a place of repose, in a place of refreshment, where there is no pain, sorrow, and suffering. As a good and loving God, forgive every sin he (she) has committed in thought, word or deed, for there is no one who lives and does not sin. You alone are without sin. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and Your word is truth.

Priest:For You are the resurrection, the life, and the repose of Your departed servant (Name), Christ our God, and to You we give glory, with Your eternal Father and Your allholy, good and life?giving Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People:Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.



The Dismissal

Priest:Glory to You, O God, our hope, glory to You.

Priest:May Christ our true God, who rose from the dead and as immortal King has authority over the living and the dead, have mercy on us and save us, through the intercessions of his spotless holy Mother; of the holy, glorious, and praiseworthy Apostles; of our venerable and God?bearing Fathers; of the holy and glorious forefathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; of his holy and righteous friend Lazaros, who lay in the grave four days; and of all the Saints, establish the soul of His servant (Name) departed from us, in the dwelling place of the Saints; grant rest to him (her) in the bosom of Abraham and number him (her) among the righteous.

Priest:May your memory be eternal, dear brother, worthy of blessedness and everlasting memory.

(For women)

Priest:May your memory be eternal, dear sister, worthy of blessedness and everlasting memory.

Priest:Through the prayers of our holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, our God, have mercy on us and save us.

People:Amen.



MEMORIAL SERVICE

People:Blessed are You, O Lord, teach me Your statutes.

People:The choir of Saints has found the fountain of life and the door of Paradise. May I also find the way through repentance. I am the sheep that is lost: O Savior, call me back and save me.

People:Blessed are You, O Lord, teach me Your statutes.

People:Of old You created me from nothing and honored me with Your divine image. But when I disobeyed Your commandment, O Lord, You cast me down to the earth from where I was taken. Lead me back again to Your likeness, and renew my original beauty.

People:Blessed are you, O Lord, teach me Your statutes.

People:I am an image of Your ineffable glory, though I bear the scars of my transgressions. On Your creation, Master, take pity and cleanse me by Your compassion. Grant me the homeland for which I long and once again make me a citizen of Paradise.

People:Blessed are You, O Lord, teach me Your statutes.

People:Give rest, O God, to Your servant, and place him (her) in Paradise where the choirs of the Saints and the righteous will shine as the stars of heaven. To Your departed servant give rest, O Lord, and forgive all his (her) offenses.

People:Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

People:The threefold radiance of the one God let us praise, and let us shout in song: Holy are You, eternal Father, coeternal Son, and divine Spirit! Illumine us who worship You in faith and deliver us from the eternal fire.

People:Now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People:Rejoice, gracious Lady, who for the salvation of all gave birth to God in the flesh, and through whom the human race has found salvation. Through you, pure and blessed Theotokos, may we find Paradise.

People:Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia. Glory to You, O God (3).



Tone Eight

People:With the Saints give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Your servant where there is no pain, nor sorrow, nor suffering, but life everlasting.

Tone Four

People:Among the spirits of the righteous perfected in faith, give rest, O Savior, to the soul of Your servant. Bestow upon it the blessed life which is from You, O loving One.

People:Within Your peace, O Lord, where all Your saints repose, give rest also to the soul of Your servant, for You alone are immortal.

People:Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

People:You are our God who descended into Hades and loosened the pains of those who were chained. Grant rest also, O Savior, to the soul of Your servant.

People:Now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

People:Most pure and spotless Virgin, who ineffably gave birth to God, intercede with Him for the salvation of the soul of your servant.

Priest: Have mercy upon us, O God, according to Your great love; we pray to You, hear us and have mercy.

People:Lord, have mercy (3).

Priest: Again we pray for the repose of the soul of the departed servant of God (Name) who has fallen asleep, and for the forgiveness of all his (her) sins, both voluntary and involuntary.

People:Lord, have mercy (3).

Priest:May the Lord God place his (her) soulwhere the righteous repose. Let us ask for the mercies of God, the kingdom of Heaven, and the forgiveness of his (her) sins from Christ our immortal king and God.

People:Grant this, O Lord.

Priest:Let us pray to the Lord.

People:Lord, have mercy.

Priest:O God of spirits and of all flesh, You have trampled down death and have abolished the power of the devil, giving life to Your world. Give rest to the soul of Your departed servant (Name) in a place of light, in a place of repose, in a place of refreshment, where there is no pain, sorrow, and suffering. As a good and loving God, forgive every sin he (she) has committed in thought, word or deed, for there is no one who lives and is sinless. You alone are without sin. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and Your word is truth.

Priest:For You are the resurrection, the life and the repose of Your departed servant (Name), Christ our God, and to You we give glory, with Your eternal Father and Your allholy, good and life?giving Spirit, now and forever and to the ages of ages.

People:Amen.

People:Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and for ever and to the ages of ages. Amen.



The Dismissal

Priest:Glory to You, O God, our hope, glory to You.

Priest:May Christ our true God, who rose from the dead and as immortal King has authority over the living and the dead, have mercy on us and save us, through the intercessions of his spotless and holy Mother; of the holy, glorious, and praiseworthy Apostles; of our venerable and God?bearing Fathers; of the holy and glorious forefathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; of his holy and righteous friend Lazaros, who lay in the grave four days; and of all the saints; establish the soul of His servant (Name), departed from us, in the dwelling place of the saints; give rest to him in the, bosom of Abraham and number him (her) among the righteous.

People: Amen.

Priest: May your memory be eternal, dear brother, for you are worthy of blessedness and everlasting memory.



(For women)

Priest: May your memory be eternal, dear sister, for you are worthy of blessedness and everlasting memory.

Priest: Through the prayers of our holy Fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, our God, have mercy on us and save us.

People:Amen.

http://www.goarch.org/en/chapel/liturgical_texts/MEMORIAL_SERVICE.asp
 
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Sacha Saint Francis

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Oh, I'm so sad for you! :cry: I lost our firstborn through a miscarriage, so although not the same, I can understand a little bit... I'm so sorry for your pain!

Now, there is a GREAT books that came my way, and if you'll pm me your mailing address I'll send it to you. It's called "The Kiss from the Cross" by Dr. Ronda Sola Chervin who lost her son when he was in his late teens, to suicide. I bought the book from her personally when she was in Vancouver holding a retreat during Lent. An amazing woman. She's starting a Rome-approved order of Consicrated Widows. The book is not about grieving only, but also about dealing with a variety of other pains, including doubt.

Secondly, I wonder if you managed to attend Mass this Sunday past. Yesterday. The gospel reading (John 6:60-69) had one sentance that stood out to me and made me ponder the glorious reality of Heaven as Jesus our Lord said:
"...what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?"

It reminded me of one gospal reading from Mass during last week (Feast of St. Bartholamu) where our Lord tells His new disciple that he will see angels ascending and descending from Heaven to the Son of Man.

If you believe that Jesus truley is God, then what He says is true, then we must take that leap of faith to believe that Heaven truley exists. It is the place where
"every tear will be wiped away". It is the place where Jesus was before His birth, where He ascended to, and it is "the Father's House" where He has gone "to prepare a place for you". It is where the angels live in eternal joy as they "behold the face of God" and sing beautiful praises to Him in eternal awe and wonder.

It is our home. As we pray in the Hail Holy Queen prayer, this world is actually our exile, our "vale of tears". Your son is now part of the Church Victorious in Heaven while we are still fighting for our souls in the Chruch Millitant on earth.

I hope this helps a little bit.

I'll send you that book, if you would like it.

God bless you in your time of mourning :groupray:

Love,
Sacha
 
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WordofGod

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Hi,
I am having a real tough time as I lost my son Matthew to cancer last year at the age of 17. I never questioned that God excisted until the death of Matthew. i am begging for help from anyone to renew my faith in God and that heaven really does exist. if there are any reading from the bible that would help me, I would so appreciate it. Also if their are any books that you can suggest to me. I am now reading a book called "heaven".

I want and need to be reassured that I will see my son again. life is so hard without him.

thankyou in advance, Matthews Mom karen


2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

and

Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

and

John 14:2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.:clap:
 
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WarriorAngel

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I lost two nephews. The one was 12, the other was 6.
[*I was close to both...yet]

It so happens the 6 yr old was almost part of my own children. He was a constant around my house...and not only that, but my sis in law was one of my closest friends .......

So losing my nephew was the hardest loss i have ever dealt with...and this I do know. I have felt heartfelt pain and empathy to my sis in laws loss. I found and find it excruciating to see her hurt.

Aside from my own loss of a beloved nephew, which I see as trivial compared to hers...I have found that words are not possible to heal that hurt.
Consolation for this type of loss is almost void, with exception of finding others who have endured this sort of loss too.

And for a long time my sister in law was a hollow soul who was angry at God, and hurt and thru reading other ppls pain and loss she saw one thing over and over...returning to God and letting Him be there.

Its been over 4 years now, but it took her a long time to let go of her anger.

She attends church again, but she had a long road to travel for her to let go completely... and realise that her reunion with her son shall be eternal.

Life on earth is short compared to eternity.
Eternity of never having to say good bye again.

I am by no means an expert on pain management... this type of pain. But time...its your friend in this instance.
Time and reflection on God.

He knows your pain, and He is there for you. You will come back to Him...once you get past all the stages of grief.

I honestly have no words...but my heart aches for you.

I love you dearly, sister...God's Peace be with you.
 
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anawim

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Hi,
I am having a real tough time as I lost my son Matthew to cancer last year at the age of 17. I never questioned that God excisted until the death of Matthew. i am begging for help from anyone to renew my faith in God and that heaven really does exist. if there are any reading from the bible that would help me, I would so appreciate it. Also if their are any books that you can suggest to me. I am now reading a book called "heaven".

I want and need to be reassured that I will see my son again. life is so hard without him.

thankyou in advance, Matthews Mom karen

My mother lost two born children and three unborn. She can relate to Mary watching her son die before her eyes for three hours. A sword pierced Mary's heart.

We are sent here on assignment. When our assignment is up, it's time to go home. We don't like it. It's not easy to be a living sacrifice. We keep wanting to crawl off the altar.

Keep praying for your son, for your own faith, and place your trust in the Lord who died so that we can live forever.
 
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