My oldest children are about your age, 20 & 23, their dad and I seperated in 1992 when they were 5 1/2 and 8 1/2 and divorced in 1993, he has never really been there for them, he'd set up earlie times to pick them up and then not get here until midnight, he was never at their school/sport functions, or 8th grade promotions, or when they had surgery's, when he did take them his father and him would bad mouth me to turn them against me. when each of them turned 15, their dad wanted them to live with him, my son was a child in need of supervision while with his dad, he would leave as soon as his dad went to work and get home just before his dad got home, he only wanted my daughter to take care of his Alzhimer mother, because he refused to take care of her or put forth the money for someone to.
The kids (specially my daugter) has put their dad so far up on a pedestal, they don't see him like I do. A counselor told me that it's typical for children of divorce to favor the parent that left and reverse the abuse/neglect, my daughter feels abandoned but my me instead of him! Also, I was in an abusive relationship with my youngest son's father, they all liked him right up until they day they hated him, now they claim that I sent them to their dad's to get rid of them because the guy in my life was more important NOT SO! (I think their dad & grandfather planted that in their heads) they don't understand what it's like to live in an abusive relationship! Them going to live with their dad was not my choice, he would get them for a weekend or summer visit then have them call me, then if I said no, threaten me with "I'm not bringing them back!) Or so my daughter told me!
I have been praying and God did answer! She wrote to her sister! She pretended to be other people and said alot of hurtful lies but she has resolved to talk to my younger daughter and that's OK! It's a start! He's already started the ball rolling and it will happen in his time! I just have to keep being patient!
