Self Esteem

what's self esteem? is it relative to self confidence?
Christians tend to emphasise on a self confidence/esteem/reliance on God, instead of on ourselves.
yeah, make yourself feel good by accomplishing something, but that allows pride and self confidence in the flesh to come it; only when we do it in humility and give glory to the Lord do we put "self" out of the equation.

Afterall, we come to Him as sinners, we come to Him to put ourselves in His hand, we no longer put ourselves first. Have "self" esteem in God.

Originally posted by humblejoe
Is it something that Christians should pursue? Why or why not?

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Of course I don't mind.  However, let me answer your second question first.  The Bible tells us numerous times to consider others before we consider ourselves and to esteem yourselves lower than you esteem others:

Luke 16
And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.

Philippians 2
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Standing up for yourself instad of considering others is something that the secular world is so fond of teaching their children:

Matthew 7
And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?

Hebrews 10
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works

Jesus Himself washed the feet of those that claimed devotion and obedience to Him.

I believe that one of the biggest hinderances to our fully recognizing the enormity of the gift of forgiveness that was granted to us is that of esteeming ourselves to highly.  Think about when you feel wronged because of the actions of another.  We sit around imagining ways to make them feel bad or how we can get even.  All Jesus ever tells us is to forgive them.  How trivial are the things that we must endure when we consider the magnitude of what we were forgiven for?  What is it that immediately helps us to stop being bitter about the actions of other sinners, whom we know are sinners and should expect nothing less from?  When we focus on God and the enormity of our own sins that God has punished Jesus for and, in the midst of our sinfullness, reconciled us to Him, when we were powerless and unresponsive to His holiness.

Look at David.  He killed a man, Uriah (I think), and stole His wife.  What did He say in Psalms 51:4?  "Against You, You only, have I sinned."  How do we feel when someone wrongs us?  We immediately hold them to a standard that we don't even hold ourselves to.  A standard, no less, that must have justice served.  Well, justice was served, 2000 years ago.  It just wasn't served on us.  Maybe if we all start thinking a little less of ourselves and a little more of God and others we wouldn't need to act affronted and lash out when "we've been wronged."

What role does "self esteem" play in the Christian community?

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I can't count the number of Christians who put stock in these "pop Christian psychologists."  We've got the best, and only, doctor who can, and will, heal our deficiencies.

Sorry bro.  I know this makes very little sense.  It's late and I'm beat.  I'll catch you tomorrow.

God bless.

I don't think that Jesus expected us to be either doormats or the other extreme.

You don't have to choose between extremes. There is plenty of middle ground between hating yourself and thinking yourself to be the most important person in the world.

Scientology teaches that your self-esteem is your ticket to happiness, and that you must think of yourself as the most important person in the world. You should understand that the rest of the world is here to serve you, according to L. Ron Hubbard's teachings.

What a contrast to Jesus's teachings that we are to esteem others above ourselves, to look out for the interests of others, to be seek to be servants rather than masters! He said that the children of God should be content in their knowledge that God esteems them, and not worry about what the rest of the world thinks, because God loves us, but the world will hate us.

He didn't intend for us to be doormats, but he did intend for us to voluntarily accept a lower position, one of service and love for others, and not for us to pursue self-love. How many times does the Bible say, "love one another"? Yet it NEVER says, "love yourself."

Originally posted by psycmajor
I don't think that Jesus expected us to be either doormats or the other extreme.

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You're right.  These extremes of "being a doormat" and "not caring about others at all" are definitely not what Jesus wants of us.  In fact, we are commanded to be violent in our attack against evil.  However, there is a very specific way in which we are commanded to deal with it:

Romans 12:17
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.

Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

1 Thessalonians 5:15
See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.

1 Peter 3:8,9
Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

We are commanded to attack and destroy.  However, we attack with the weapon of goodness.

God bless.

Originally posted by Reformationist

I can't count the number of Christians who put stock in these "pop Christian psychologists."  We've got the best, and only, doctor who can, and will, heal our deficiencies.
I know this makes very little sense.  It's late and I'm beat.  I'll catch you tomorrow.
God bless.

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Makes sense to me, and I agree totally! I have a friend who was very depressed. She went to a so-called "Christian" shrink who gave her medicine. Dadgum it, it made her worse. Then they sent her to a mental hospital. That made her even worse. She left the hospital after a few months, slowly weaned herself off the meds, and started meditating on the word and put her trust in Christ. That's what helped her.

Sounds more like a quack than a shrink.

Christians psychologists aren't miracle workers, they just try to work within the ethics and practices of Christ's teachings. If you want counselling with Biblical standards, they are your best bet. I have been to non-Christian psychologists, and the stuff they fill your head with is not of God.

But if you want mircale healings, you need to go to a healing service. Psychologists are not in the business to make miracles, just to help people with their problems.

Originally posted by lambslove
Christians psychologists aren't miracle workers, they just try to work within the ethics and practices of Christ's teachings. If you want counselling with Biblical standards, they are your best bet. I have been to non-Christian psychologists, and the stuff they fill your head with is not of God.

But if you want mircale healings, you need to go to a healing service. Psychologists are not in the business to make miracles, just to help people with their problems.

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lambslove, I apologize if I've offended you.  I agree that there is no other kind of couseling that will do the job that biblical couseling can.  My remark of "Christian pop-psychologists" was not inclusive of those that use the bible as the source for resolution of real life problems.  One of my very best friends is biblical couselor and I know that he has helped thousands of people.  He is very relatable and his testimony speaks volumes about his knowledge of dealing with personal trial.  He has hepatitis A, B, and C, two of which I believe are fatal.  It causes him all kinds of problems yet he perseveres as best he can knowing that the Lord, in His sovereignty, has brought this difficulty into his life to help him have compassion for, and help, others who have problems.

Again, if I've offended you, I apologize.

God bless.

 

 i kinda like myself..............reformationist...you are dead right

Self esteem or Christ esteem? I've heard the quote of Gods golden rule of love your neighbor as you love yourself used to promote self esteem, but I think the true meaning of this is missed most of the time. Love can be very practical and Jesus asks some very practical questions when He returns. The Bible tells us that no man hates his own flesh. We feed and cloth ourselves and take care of our bodies - a very practical love, and Jesus asks if we fed Him, clothed Him, visited Him while He was sick, and if we gave Him shelter when He was a stranger. If we do it to the least person, we have done it to Him.  My point is that we must love our neighbors as ourselves in the most practical way first. Not just a warm fuzzy feeling, but a willingness to give just like God himself. Feeling good about ourselves comes from who we are in Christ. Our flesh is passing away fast, so whats on the outside should not be worshipped as an image. Without Christ, I'm worthless. With Him, I have purpose and life eternal.

Originally posted by raphe
Self esteem or Christ esteem? I've heard the quote of Gods golden rule of love your neighbor as you love yourself used to promote self esteem, but I think the true meaning of this is missed most of the time. Love can be very practical and Jesus asks some very practical questions when He returns. The Bible tells us that no man hates his flesh. We feed and cloth ourselves and take care of our bodies - a very practical love, and Jesus asks if we fed Him, clothed Him, visited Him whike He was sick, and if we gave Him shelter when He was a stranger. If we do it to the least person, we have done it to Him.  My point is that we must love our neighbors as ourselves in the most practical way first. Not just a warm fuzzy feeling, but a willingness to give just like God himself. Feeling good about ourselves comes from who we are in Christ. Our flesh is passing away fast, so whats on the outside should not be worshipped as an image. Without Christ, I'm worthless. With Him, I have purpose and life eternal.

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Very nicely said.  I agree wholeheartedly!  Welcome to the boards raphe! Here are some blessings for you!

God bless.

Thanks, you are the first person online I've found that leans towards these truths. It seems to take a while for us to realize we live in a body of death in more ways than one - physical death, dead works, selfishness and egotism, wasted space if we don't work to help others. Other than it being a temple for the Holy Spirit, the flesh has no profit in it; just a lot of trouble, then it falls apart and dies. "If only I would have worked harder when I was able" becomes realization when we finally know how important our work was to be here on earth but are sick or unable to work anymore to accomplish His will. Work as hard as you can and be humble minded about yourselves as young persons. The Bible speaks of our lives as a flower that blooms and fades so fast; as a vapor of mist that dissipates quickly and is gone. Serve others (poor, lame, blind, deaf, handicapped), and you serve Him