Should I find me a mate or wait?

apureheart said:

You do what is right and it still turns out wrong
In your pain and weakness they tell you be strong

The emptiness inside is more than you can bear
No one really hears you as their advice they share

You are extremely lonely, hurt, and confused
Is love always about using and being abused




The Warrior's Flower

Beside the river a flower grows in the protective shade of two trees.

A warrior pauses for a drink. He notices the simple, proud beauty of this solitary flower. A smile crosses his lips. Because the water is clear and cold at this spot and the flower is beautiful and warms his heart he pauses here often.

One day he approaches the flower. The trees watch. He leans over to take in the fragrance of this flower. His fingers caress its petals. Weary from battles the warrior rests.

As he rests the winds begin to blow. Stronger and stronger. The trees sway. The flower bends. Warrior lays beside the flower wrapping his body around it. First comes the rain. Then hail. Warrior holds his hand over this precious flower. Night falls.

In the warmth of the morning sun two flowers grow together in the protective shade of two trees.


.....peace.....




If only there was a place where I could flee
To escape bondage to divorce and be free

Free to love and be loved without fear or doubt
Where whispers speak much louder than a shout

Others have found this place but I cannot
GOD knows how long and hard I have sought





Run To The Light


THEY SAY .....

Life is a challenge not a game
We can walk with dignity or in shame

To live or survive is a choice we make
We can place blame or own our mistake


SOME FEEL .....

So many pleasures so little joy
Life fulfilling is another decoy

Trapped in a freedom that is not real
Knowing how to suffer but unable to feel

Seeking for truth but living a lie
Afraid to live and afraid to die


LIGHT .....

When out of the darkness a voice calm and quiet
And in the distance you see a light pure and bright

There is the home that you never knew
Where your past is gone and all is new

A place where love is a gift not a curse
Where love makes better instead of worse

Run to the light dare to be free
Away from the darkness able to see


DARKNESS .....

But the darkness has gripped you and will not let go
Pulling away from the light to the darkness you know

Unable to resist you go where you're led
In captivity you eat the lies that you're fed


WARRIOR .....

Surrounded by darkness protected by light
One solitary figure continues to fight

No one notices no one cares
Calm and quiet are his prayers

He fights for those who are lost and bound
His words like seeds fall to the ground

Watered by tears the truth does grow
Darkness retreats from the light's glow


CRISIS.....

Drawn to the light but afraid to run
Reminded of failures and things you have done

Yet the light shines on brighter each day
While your feet seem stuck in a miry clay

Unable to move unable to stay
You fall to your knees and begin to pray


ANSWER.....

And as you pray you're surrounded by light
Confusion leaves and you know what is right

Peace like a river floods into your soul
Emptiness is gone now you are whole


TRUTH.....

There is wonder and surprise as you slowly realize
The things that kept you bound were false and lies

As you open up your heart to make a new start
The prison you were in falls apart


RUN TO THE LIGHT.....

Surrounded by darkness protected by light
Two lonely figures continue to fight


No one notices no one cares
Calm and quiet are their prayers


Run to the light dare to be free
Away from the darkness able to see


.....peace.....





I am free but freedom is a lonely place at night
Without the feel of being held close and tight

I do not desire or want to go thru life alone
My addiction to companionship is full-blown

If only GOD had one who was meant for me
I could escape this prison and finally be free




Virtue Or Shame


You cannot sow to the flesh and reap of the Spirit
If you still yourself you will be able to hear it

That still small voice that sets you apart
Drawing you to holiness and purity of heart

GOD is not blind and He knows your desire
One is being prepared that will endure the fire

A man who will honor and treat with respect
What kind of woman should this man expect

Women are dogs as they chase after men
That is how it is when you live in sin

But daughter of GOD you are so much more
The cries of your heart GOD does not ignore

Don't compromise or play the world's game
Nor set aside virtue and act with shame

Clothe yourself in humility and then wait
In due season GOD will give you a mate


.....peace.....




I know in my head the thing that I should do
That I should wait, trust, and depend on You

But my heart longs for passion and intimacy
To cast off restraints and once again be "free"

Between my head and heart a little girl cries
Does anyone really care if the little girl dies





The Key

How many times she offered her heart
How many times someone took a part

Her innocence was stolen at great cost
In her search for love she somehow got lost

No one saw the lonely tears she cried
No one noticed when her failing hope died

Living in poverty with a treasure within
Her life a tragedy that has no end

Everyone knows her but no one does
Trapped in a reality of what she was

She has her horror stories to tell
As she sits alone staring into the well



Where is the key that would unlock her heart?
Where is the place where she can make a new start?



Unknown to this child the Tears that were shed
As she laid passively in the tempter's bed

Unknown to this child is a Love that lives
That never takes from you but always gives

Unknown to this child the Price that was paid
To free her from bondage of mistakes that were made

Unknown to this child is the Way out of darkness
To a place of peace, beauty and wholeness



Who has the key that will unlock her prison?
Who will reveal to her the treasure within?



One who hears her heart and not just her words
One who knows the value of flowers and birds

One who sees her tears and not just her deeds
One who understands the importance of planting seeds

One who speaks Truth and not just what is true
One who once sat at this well like you


.....peace.....




Psalm 139:1-18


1 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! 18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.



GOD knows you far better than you know yourself. His view of you is untainted by sin. He sees the part of you no one else ever gets to see. That part of you that you thought died long ago. You are His little child. That is why He always is near, always watching.

Long ago you were deceived. And many years you have lived a lie. It is enough. It is finished. Jesus died not only that your sins could be forgiven but also so that you could live, live abundantly. Your past is past.


Psalm 139:16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect (GOD saw what you were) and in thy book all my member were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them (GOD sees what you are becoming).


What is greater than my failure and sin
When I open my heart and let GOD in

When my past is past and GOD is present
When I begin to live life as it was meant

I am a new creation made by GOD's hand
What GOD is doing I do not fully understand

I know there will be tears and times of pain
But now I am free to walk barefoot in the rain

Knowing that the rain will one day make flowers
There is no limit to GOD's potential or powers

I have found my perfect love that will never end
The peace I have now is real and not pretend

Safe and secure in my Father's arms I will stay
When I am ready a husband will come my way



It was an unlikely pair. He was too skinny, divorced, living with his parents, working a minimum wage job. She was overweight, divorced, living in a housing project with four kids. They first saw each other at a factory. Casual acquaintances. Years later they met at a revival. She was so beautiful. He was so poor and very shy. That night he hitch-hiked home after the revival. Her oldest son asked his mom why she didn't give that guy with long hair a ride home. She tried to find him but he was gone. The next night they met again before the service. She asked him if he hitch-hiked the night before. He replied yes. She asked if he needed a ride home that night. He said yes. And then went and told the person who was going to give him a ride home that night he had another ride. I have been married to this woman for 22 years now.


AnomismeVaughn, I do not know how your story will develop. I just know that my wife and I had each reached a point in our lives where we put GOD first and lived for Him and left the spouse thingy in His hands. I (and she) am very pleased with how GOD worked that out. The really funny thing is that the night she asked me for a ride that was very, very unlike her and for me to "lie" like that was also completely out of character. If she had used the measure of marriage material that the world used I would not have been considered. But she remembered my quiet spirit at work and how I always was reading my bible during lunch breaks. She honestly believed that if we loved GOD and each other that it would all work out. It did.

My prayer is that you will begin to see yourself as your heavenly Father sees you and that you will one day share with us what great things GOD has done for you.

Oh, one other thing. That was good counsel you gave your daughter about not rushing in to marriage. You know the consequences of being impatient.

Micah 6:8 He hath showed thee, O man (woman) what is good (right), and what doth the Lord require of thee but to do justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy GOD.

Ever notice how GOD never rushes. I think it is because we are so slow.


.....peace......

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