I guess this is a goodbye

I'm sorry you feel this way Alex. I'm very sorry. God loves you so much. I guess you can say Christianity isn't just what God can give us, but what can we give him? Our lives, our desires everything because we so deerly love him, because he first love us. If we follow him and put him first, he will give us our desires. We need to persurvere and not give up. There is a prize ahead, heaven, and God's will for your life. Please reconsider this decision, and maybe just really go to God and poor out all your feelings to him. He won't be mad. God Bless.

Alex,

I feel your pain. I really do. Similar comments have left me with a bit more than a lump in my throat too. It's really not something worth leaving God completely over, though. When I got pressured into a loveless marriage and subsequently divorced, I was mad at God for years because I couldn't figure out why HE would ALLOW me to enter into something that was destined to fail. Why did He allow me to fall for this person who never loved me in the first place but just wanted a 'Christian' way of being able to afford moving out from under his obsessive/controlling parents? I feel hopeless when it comes to romantic love too and there are many days when I want to curse God for cursing me with a desire that I feel He will never fulfil. However, this is only ONE aspect of our very complex and unique lives. MadFingerPainter said it best on her thread that we need to focus more on God and less on our own wants for a mate. I don't know your personal situation but I'm sure that the comments referring to 'not everyone is meant to be married' doesn't necessarily mean you. I know when you want something so bad, the words are like a knife in the heart. Believe me, I know. But please, don't let it get you down. If you need to take some time away from CF to refocus, by all means, I would recommend it. I sometimes have to do that too. However, please reconsider your stance on God.

I'll keep you in my prayers too, friend.

HC

Alex, I'm sorry you feel this way, but at the same time... the words of men should not pluck you from the hand of God. We're all humans, and we're going to say things that hurt each other (yes, even Christians do it) but that's no reason to blame God, or think that he does not have our best interest in mind.

I think at best, a lot of what we say to each other is opinion and that is important to remember.

I really don't know what else to tell you besides the fact that I wish you wouldn't do something so drastic as this...

God DOES NOT let us suffer needlessly- when it is His will for us to face trials, they teach us wisdom and maturity... and He never abandons us to our despair. Sometimes it is necessary for our faith to be tried in order for us to grow... but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and we come out stronger and wiser for what we have been through. God loves us and He wants us to be happy. Lifelong singleness is a way of life chosen by certain people. If you desire marriage, then marry. God may not have created some mystical "soulmate" for you, but if you submit your will to His He WILL guide you to a good spouse. It is up to you to make a happy life with that person - marriage is hard work. That is the plainest truth I can speak to you. Please take hope from it. Do not abandon God because He has NOT abandoned you.

Matthew 6:31-34
So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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Romans 8:32
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

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James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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God CARES about you. God LISTENS to you - your every prayer, your every cry, your every despairing thought. Just read Psalms. God hears you and He will act... please do not give up.

This is actually good. It sounds like up until now, your faith in God was merely conditional. As long as He brought you a wife in a reasonable time frame, you'd believe in Him. Now the condition upon which you based your faith in God has crumbled. You've discovered that God never made that promise to you, or to anyone. You can no longer believe that God will bring a spouse to everyone who wants one. You can give up on God - or you could find something more solid to base your faith upon than a promise God never made in the first place. Your misconception about God was holding you back; now you're free of it and can move on to more solid ground.

Here are some promises God actually did make: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." "Neither death nor life nor angels nor demons ... shall be able to separate us from the love of God." "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases ... His mercies are new every morning." "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Don't you think those promises are way more solid and permanant than the promise of a spouse anyway?

Faith is tough sometimes. Really, really tough. Sometimes it really is all you have left, because all the evidence indicates otherwise. But if you chuck it out the window, what will you have left? Don't turn your back on God - tell Him exactly how you feel. He can take it.

If you're a reader, there are a couple of books in my signature that you might find helpful.

Alexander1982 said:

This is the last thread I will post on this forum as I made the decision to renounce my Christian faith once and for all.

The reason why I am leaving this site and my religion is because I couldn't find happiness nor the peace I was looking for, and ultimately I no longer trust love and in turn, I no longer trust God.

I wanted to find some hope on this site, hope that I won't go through life without knowing love, but all I get is



and this



and also this



This drove me deeper into despair, it divided me further away from God and now I reached the point where I can't take it anymore.

The only way I can be free from this worry is to give up on love and as a result I abandon God. So yeah it has been nice sharing our thoughts with you guys, some good some bad, I hope things would turn out ok with you guys,

I'm sorry God but I don't feel any happiness from you

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Rise up! On the battlefield between you and God, the winner is obvious. It is the most desparate of prayers, but in that moment after you have lost all faith, you start seeing things clearer. I have sat in your shoes, as you sit right here. I lost all faith. After a day or so, I couldn't stand it anymore. "God, I don't understand you, I don't know why you chose things for I've endured. I don't know why I feel so bad right now. I have every reason to hate you right now." I said that, then I said this, "Yet I can't not believe in you. I offer up the smallest amount of faith I have left to you."

You wouldn't have made this post without checking back to read the responses. The Godly man overcomes. I have no doubt that is you.

Bro... our desires aren't what Christianity is about. God isn't a tooth fairy or a Santa Claus. Life's not easy and I wish more than anything that it was true that God had someone out there for me, but the facts are that it's not always possible. Sometimes our gifts are better served by God while we're single. God does have a plan for everyone, but His plan and our plans often conflict, and we find out in really rough ways. That's life, whether you're a Christian or not. You'll find joy in Christ, and hope, but that doesn't always mean what we want; we will find what we need, though.

God isn't a quick fix either. He's not here just to bounce us on His knee and keep us amused. Our purpose as christians is to spread the gospel and do what we can to help our fellow man. We are here to live, to learn, to love but most of all we are here to fulfill God's will not the other way around. And AMEN to Princess and Inritcatic.
Alexander...do yourself a favor...go talk to a Pastor.
I'm so sick of seeing people blame God for their misfortunes. If that's the only reason you chose God is because of what he could do for you and not because you truly love him then you are in a sorry state. Instead of blaming God do something about it. Talk to a Pastor or a Minister. Talk to God. But don't blame Him for your lack of faith!

Closing thread for staff review...

Thread re-opened.

Listen, you're 24! If you've conversated with a church, I'm sure you have met 30+ year olds who are single. Are all of them bitter? No! So why should you be?

9 His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" 10 He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:9-10

That's OK, it's our human nature to take and take. But when it comes time to give, that's when we hesitate. I certainly pray that you will see the bigger picture, that God has bigger plans for you...not just finding a girlfriend, wife or whatever.

I'm single too, I want a girlfriend, a future wife, a godly woman. I don't have one ATM, however I trust that the Lord will provide. Of course, He is not going to just hand it to me on a silver platter. I will fight and do my best for whoever this lady shall be.

I too suggest you speak to a pastor about this. Seriously, please look at the bigger picture.

Alexander i'm going to pray for you that God will show you what it is He wants and what you are to do. but turning your back on the very person who loved you enough to give the life of His Son for you is not a wise choice. He gave us all a second chance at salvation. His Son was crucified for us. imagine what that had to have been like. it can't possibly compare to not having a mate. He loves you or He wouldn't have bothered with you or any of us. keep that in mind please.

alex, maybe you want to read this article:

http://www.crosswalk.com/community/singles/635024.html

Alexander1982 said:

I'm sorry God but I don't feel any happiness from you

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Are you really going to give up on your faith because it is going through some rough times? Would you do that in a relationship?

God is not in control of your happiness. You are. Likewise, a girlfriend or a wife cannot make you happy. Only you can decide to be happy.

maycontainnuts said:

God is not in control of your happiness. You are. Likewise, a girlfriend or a wife cannot make you happy. Only you can decide to be happy.

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I was under the impression that God is in control of everything.

That said, if you lose your relationship with God so easily, perhaps you never really had one in the first place.

Just a $.01of my thoughts....

If a person can't stay in love with God how will they ever stay in love with another person?

Hey, go easy on the guy. That's a rough spot to be in.

intricatic said:

Hey, go easy on the guy. That's a rough spot to be in.

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Because sometimes, real Christianity isn't kind.

I can relate. If there was ever a reason that I'd give up my Christian faith, this is it.

However, I think God wants us to be happy. He doesn't wish to see us suffer. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. Does God want innocent children to die of disease? I doubt it. Does God desire that bad people thrive? Not the God I believe in. Why should we think that God wants us to be single simply because we are? We live in a world run by Satan. The way I see it, evil is usually the reason why we go through tough times. Not because of our own sin per-se, but because of the sin that surrounds us. Prolonged singleness in and of itself should not be interpreted as what God wants for us... unless we believe God also wants babies to contract AIDS, enjoys it when people get murdered etc. When I witness sadness and suffering, sometimes I must remind myself to attribute it to evil and original sin, not God.