I really do understand about the loneliness. In retrospect, I think the very idea of being alone again kept me from bailing on my marriage when everything first blew apart. (My posting is in this section too) I wish I could say I'm out of the muck, but that would be untrue. I really got myself emotionally/mentally mired down. I tried to rush back into a "normal" life with my spouse - basically just played house, mentally suppressed everything when he was around, or tried to anyway. It found it's way out in really unpredictable and uncontrolled ways - bouts of depression, suspicion, despair, low self-esteem. And really intense waves of anger at him. And then massive guilt at my unChristian behavior. He hasn't really helped either, he can't believe I'm not just over it by now, can't see the change in him. Really, the guy tried to tell me last week how he had actually stopped sleeping with this girl, so all of the continued phone calls and sneaking around to hang out with her wasn't actually being unfaithful!(!??!!!!!)That was it for me - I just couldn't do it anymore. I have to step away from it to maintain my sanity, and leave him in his Creators hands. I really do hope that he finds Christ, and that God can change him into the man he says he's going to become... Long story short (very long story - sorry...) I don't think my marriage is going to make it. But please, don't let my failure discourage you from fighting for your marriage - it's always worth it to try for restoration - and I pray that God gives you wisdom and hope during this trying time...MissingHim said:
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