Autumnleaf said:
From a biblical perspective a wife is not supposed to command her husband around. I don't see how doing this will lead to anything but trouble.
From a Biblical perspective, she has every right to divorce him before he further endangers her health, or harms her. A Biblical marriage works when both spouses are in agreement and in submission to the Lord. When one of the spouses is not in submission to God, you end up on a situation where the wife will almost certainly be abused, and this situation is ripe for abusive potential.
Matt 5:32 states:
32but I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.
Which leads to more trouble, AutumnLeaf...The impetus of a husband getting help at the behest of the wife, who has done nothing to harm the marriage?
Or the wife endangering her own health because of the sin of her husband?
Second case in point:
1 TIM 5:8:
8But if any provide not for his own and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
All I can say is...OUCH, and woe betide the man who does not steward his money wisely. Drugs and gambling are both addictions which suck one's money, and the effects of both will keep a man from supporting his own household...Including his wife. Biblically, she IS considered part of "his own house"...Right?
Now, let's look at drugs for a minute. You and I both know that the sharing of needles can spread diseases such as AIDS/HIV, Hepatitis, and other blood-borne pathogens. Was he sleeping around while on drugs? Does he become violent while on them? Has he hit her in the past?
Sin has consequences...Even forgiven sin. In this case, just because the husband's gotten rid of the OW doesn't mean that his wife is no longer at risk for disease. ANd just because the husband's gotten rid of the OW (which the original poster somewhat doubts), doesn't mean he can't catch something from his drug use.
First off, whatever STD's the OW has, the wife will get through the husband's indescretion. How's that for an adulterer's conscience...Because of HIS sin, an innocent woman can be harmed.
I can tell you the effect of adultery...Mine was in the form of HPV 16, a highly virulent strain which, within 4 years, had turned into moderate squamous dysplasia of the cervix and hyperplasia in the uterus...This delightful hodgepodge of words translates to one word: PRECANCER. My ex did the screwing around...Not me. But I forgave his sin. I contracted HPV through him. I almost became a cancer statistic. So yes, I know what I'm talking about when I tell this woman to safeguard her health. I almost lost mine due to someone else's stupidity and disregard for me as a human being.
But I digress. She's got a situation on her hands where the husband admitted he lied about being a believer, he's done drugs, he's addicted to gambling, and he's fornicated. Where, my friend, is this "Biblical"? Or is this a situation where you feel the woman, innocent as she is, bears the brunt of the burden for bringing the marriage back together?
There has, HAS, to be change in the husband in order for the marriage to be restored. If she doesn't make her "demands" now, she is inviting an admitted unbelieving husband, who's into drugs and gambling, and who's fornicated, and who has admitted that he'll do something about his problems "someday", but not now.
In other words, he's not changing his ways any time in the near future.
Biblically, she has every right to walk away from this marriage. She has chosen to separate instead, and work on her marriage. Sleeping with the husband shouldn't be done, not only because of the health risks at this point, but because the complications of sex will only make the restoration that much harder. Sex brings with it a complexity of emotions which clouds objectivity.
It's almost like you are saying that she is "less" than her husband, and should sleep with him regardless of what vileness he carries from adultery, and regardless of the fact that she can be harmed if he's on drugs.
Of course, some men believe it's "Biblical" that the wife is nothing more than a piece of submissive meat instead of a human being worthy of consideration.
I highly doubt if God, who made woman His final creation, made her to be crushed. Women are His human creation too, my friend.