My testimony

toad_ster

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Jun 28, 2002
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*given on Dec 26, 1999...the date will show its relevance towards the end*

The first time I ever thought about my testimony was the summer of ’94. I just finished my sophomore year in high school, the Rockets just won their first championship and I was at a High School Christian Conference in Sunny California. One of the things we had to do that week was write our testimony. I was kind of discouraged. I felt I had no testimony at all, what was so exciting about hearing someone who became a Christian when he was five, lived in a Christian home all his life? To me it was boring, I asked God why I couldn't live on both sides, the light and the dark. God did answer my request some years later. But I went home that week frustrated, I had no testimony…or did I? Soon after I talked with my mom about my experience and she shed some light on me. She pointed out several obstacles that I have overcome in my past to get me where I was and to lead me to where I was going in the future.

The first of these obstacles was at birth. I was born with a birth defect called Neurofibramatosis, a birth defect that is rarely fatal, when it is tumors grow in different areas of one’s body at different stages of life. This occurs until tumors grow around the area of the esophagus blocking the air canal causing suffocation. I am blessed not to have any tumors. The birth defect does cause several side effects, one of which is a speech impediment. At the age of three when most children where able to talk, I only knew three sounds. Therefore I was put in speech therapy. For the next ten years I was teased, and laughed at for something I couldn’t help. It was a very difficult time for me.

Now that I have been through this obstacle in my life I am a little more patient when communicating with others.

It was because of this birth defect that I see a neurologist, this neurologist was one of the founders of the camp I have been working at since last year. A camp designed for people with chronic disabilities. This past summer the camp hosted a wide variety of camps, kids with muscular dystrophy, cancer and HIV were just few of the many groups that gave children the opportunity to forget their illness and to enjoy a week of camp. It was a great experience for me, for I may have found a career path out of basically a birth defect.

Couple years prior to my camping experience God answered my request about living both the light and the dark sides. A few months after I graduated from high school in 1996 I feel into depression. I began to look at the world from a different life. One that was very pessimistic, I did not like where I was in life. I did not ask God for help, I only asked Him why? I tried volunteering at a local ministry, going to bible studies, everything but seek Him. There were many times I cried myself to sleep wanting the pain to go away. There were also times when my parents, siblings, and even myself thought I would eventually commit suicide. There were days I felt perfectly fine, while there were other times I wanted to crawl into a hole and not come out. I needed a different path in my life, working at my family’s restaurant for the past decade was very frustrating.

My dad had the idea that I do go visit this camp that I work at now. I was kind of worried, I have never done anything like it before, how would I be, would they like me? Thoughts rushed through my head. I begun shortly after I visited the camp and couldn’t wait till the summer season reached. When it did I was hyped, I felt something was going to happen. Since the groups did not come until Sunday afternoon some of the staff took this opportunity to go to church.

the only church at the time I felt comfortable going to was Grace Bible in College Station. An hour drive that many times I did not feel like taking so I stayed in bed. A little over half way through the summer Tara Pate joined the staff. We talked quite a bit, and every Saturday she asked me the question: Are you going to church? I said maybe. Sunday came and I made the excuse, “oh I didn’t want to go by myself,” or some other excuse. Tara always got on my case about going. Until one time she out witted me. She asked me if I would go with her the following week. I said sure, but was kind of worried, it would be the only second time in about ten years that I stepped into a Baptist church. I put all worries aside and came, it was something I’ve rarely witnessed before. People came up to me and welcomed me in. Something you don’t see at larger churches. I liked it that I came back again, and then again and again. Now I am up here saying this and I just have to wonder if I would be up here even if I did not go to camp this summer or turned down Tara’s invitation. I feel God has brought me to this church for a reason. Maybe I will be able to find out that reason or maybe not. But as we approach the new Millennium I am setting only one goal for myself. A goal some of you may be interested in setting as well.

Many times I go through a day without spending time with God, I so often lead a life where I am the driver and God is in the back seat, I go where I want to go. Leading a self-centered life. I want to lead a Christ-centered life. I need to get out of the front seat, hand the keys over to God and let him take me where he wants to go. When I do this another chapter in my life will be finished, and a new one may begin. God gave me a purpose in life and I want to have Philippians 3:14 as motto…I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Jesus Christ. As I conclude today recall what Hebrew 12:2 says: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfect of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne.
 

GraftMeIn

The Masters Gardener
May 15, 2002
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toad_ster,
You have a wonderful testimony. You should be thankful if you've never lived on the dark side, It's full of nothing but shame. I'm still working on writting my testimony and it's a long one, and I'm most ashamed at how I have lived my life. You'll understand why when I post it. Consider yourself blessed if you haven't lived a shameful life of darkness, there's nothing better than being in the light :)
 
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