Is it wrong to want friends?

Tbear516

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I am torn between wanting friends and being content with my spouse. My husband is my very best friend and meets all my needs yet I have a desire to befriend couples and other women. Am I wrong to want friendships? It has always been hard for me to make friends and I just don't know even where to start to make friends. I also don't want my husband to think I'm replacing him or choosing friends over him. I'm stuck and seeking God on this and would also love to hear other christians input. I pray that all of you are having a wonderful day and keeping God first in your life!! :wave:
 

FatBurger

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Of course it's not wrong! It's normal to want other friends, just like it's normal to not want to eat your favorite food every meal every day for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean that your spouse is a bad friend, or in need of replacing. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
 
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rainbowpromise

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The Bible encourages women to teach other women and men to teach other men. We are meant to have same sex friendships to help us to grow spiritually. That means we as women should have friendships with other godly women. And our husbands should have friendships with other godly men.

I know I am so thankful for my pastor's wife, her mother and some of the elderly ladies that have been in our church. I certainly would like to be a blessing to other younger women in our church as well.
 
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looksgood

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rainbowpromise said:
The Bible encourages women to teach other women and men to teach other men. We are meant to have same sex friendships to help us to grow spiritually. That means we as women should have friendships with other godly women. And our husbands should have friendships with other godly men.

I know I am so thankful for my pastor's wife, her mother and some of the elderly ladies that have been in our church. I certainly would like to be a blessing to other younger women in our church as well.
I for one agree that it isn't wrong. We were created to be lights in the world, not just in our own little world. God wants us to have friends. And I think the last post was right on in that the best friends for married people are same sex friends.
 
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SweetSerenity

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We all need fellowship with other Christians. I am sure my husband considers it a blessing that I work out some of my mom stuff and woman stuff (as he calls it) with my girlfriends. Be open to opportunities and pray about it, God will put people in your path.

God Bless.... Lynne
 
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live4grace

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Of course you should have friends. If your spouse is jealous of that somehow, HE should have friends. You should have friends together, both couples and individuals.

The only thing to watch out for is getting involved emotionally (romantically etc.) with someone of the opposite gender. The male/female chemistry is too strong to ignore and that's what it would be best for you to have women friends. That said, I have had dear friends in my life who are ladies and we never cross the lines that would take things further. So it can happen.

You should pursue an interest that you always wanted to. My wife recently joined a knitting group. She's made 4 great friends there in a very short time.
 
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Amélie Unbound

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Of course it's not wrong to want friends!

In fact, one of the things the pastor discussed with us in our premarital counselling was having friends. He said that because my husband and I both have introverted natures, there was the danger that after marriage we would just "cocoon" with each other. He advised us that we shouldn't make each other responsible for meeting all of our social needs. He said that's not healthy.
 
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MaraPetra

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Friendships with others besides your spouse are a very good thing!

If you'll notice, the Bible stresses fellowship among church members, and there's a very good reason for that. Human beings are social creatures. We thrive when we're around others who share views (and sometimes disagree), who help us when we're down, and to whom we can minister and be ministered to.

I can see where you're coming from in thinking that your husband should be your only friend, but as Orchard says, it's unhealthy. Sooner or later, the marriage is going to hit a rough patch, or you're going to have questions that your husband cannot answer. Then, friends become invaluable.

If you need a "practice shot" on being open, then PRAY. Seeing as He created us, God knows our hearts and our minds. I don't know about you, but I had an extremely hard time at first opening up to anyone. It was the legacy of years of emotional abuse, but I still couldn't quite comprehend that I could dare to open to someone else. Thus, my prayers started changing. Instead of dry prayers, I started opening up my deepest, darkest secrets to God. After all, He already knows them, right? It was liberating to pour my heart out to Him, to bring to His feet the hopes, dreams, thoughts and pain of this tortured soul. It was only when I could bring everything, even my anger, to God, that I felt I could open to someone else. And it was blessed!

Making friends isn't hard, you just be yourself and contribute to a conversation. When I started at hubby's church right before we were married, I didn't know anyone. For a while, I kept to myself. Then, slowly, I started small-talking before and after services, and God blessed that effort with two very good friends. Before I knew it, in three years God blessed me with many friends in that church. You already have something in common with others in your church (a love of God), so take it from there!

Another way to socialize is to join in on whatever little classes your church offers. Small home groups are awesome in the way that the meetings are informal, and you get an opportunity to know one another better. Married couples' classes, or fundraisers, will also get you in a position to meet others. I've even made one or two very good friends while ministering!

Don't sweat being scared of meeting new people. I was extremely introverted, and totally dysfunctional in regards to friendships, when I started making friends in church. It just takes being open, prayer to God to bless your efforts, and sharing life experiences, and sharing laughter.
 
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