Fed up with my marriage....

teddybear1226 said:

i just recently found out that my husband had a really bad addiction to inappropriate content...he had load sof it on our computer and on the screen 2 weeks ago when I was going to log in. My daughter could have seen it...she would have had to move the mouse that is it. Also 4y ago he ahd a online affair with my best friend and they kissed...I thought that was alll...untill...as I was deleting the inappropriate content I found a folder with Chat logs saying that they actually had sex and that it was in my Daughters bed (wic is the room we are in now). He also has verbally abused me...just constantly putting me down...I am imbaressed to go out with friends because of how he treats me.. I am just beside my slef of what to do...I have no feelings for him at all...I just need to know what to do...where to go... i am really thinking of leaving him...But we do have 3 kids so I am a little more confused...this has been going on for at least 4y maybe even 6.

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charlene,

you know i'll be praying for you. In the meanwhile, seek God. It's not easy to do sometimes, but remember He hears what you say to Him. He will listen.

Everyone reading this, I've known this wonderful girl for
almost 8 years, and I ask you all who are married and have young children to offer Charlene all the Word-based and Spirit-filled encouragement, advice and wisdom you can. This lady needs to be shown the love of God, and I ask that you love her as your own sister, which she is through the blood of Jesus

I'm so very sorry I can relate - my marriage has been very troubled and while I was secretly making plans to leave my husband (I had scriptural grounds (unrepentant adulterer), God had other plans.

We had world war 9,876, 554 when out of the blue he said he wanted to go to counseling. Seeing as I have to stand before God with my choices, I wanted to be able to say I'd tried everything.

(I'm sharing this with you so that you might be encouraged).

I know it's a hard and dark place that you are in - there are some great books out there - one of which is called "Because I said forever" - they do not advocate flat out staying in all things (in the marriage that is) but it's comforting to know there ARE other christians out there suffering in challenging marriages. The truth is that you have a choice - you can leave or you can stay and whatever you feel led by God to do is okay as long as you leave room for miracles.

Your spouse has to want to change and I pray that when he sees what he risks losing his heart will be broken.

You will be in my prayers - and trust me my prayers are not little cuz I am not serving no itty bitty God.

I agree with your friend in that seeking God is the first thing to do & give your troubles over to him. Pray without ceasing.

There is also a section in the Womens Discussion on other women who have had problems with their husbands looking at inappropriate content & it is very supportive. It is in the sub-forum under Women Struggling.

I will say a prayer for you at this moment because I do feel some of what you have gone through. And with God's almighty presence things can work for the best for him.

Prayers to you and your family. It is okay to set a limit and say this is dangerous and not permitted in this house.... you have children and there is a reason it is "adult" material. Beyond that, I would call a Christian counselor and I would pray over my house and get some of my prayer warrior friends to set up a prayer chain to pray for my family (I don't always give details I just ask for prayer that is up to you). For me, I had been down in the pit for so long, I couldn't remember what love was...but I thought I was protecting my kids. I needed to fall in love with Jesus first, start taking care of myself so that I could get quiet enough to hear the voice within. When my husband cannot be the man God wants him to be, I cry out to Christ, to God and the Holy Spirit and ask for their support and guidance. Take all things to Him with an expectant heart. For me, I started with little things... Lord, How much should I spend on groceries? Where should I park? How much should I tithe today? and I just did whatever came into my heart....as an act of faith, with thanksgiving and glory to God...I know it sounds corny...but God knows whats in our hearts. For me that opened the door for the Holy Spirit so that I would stop doubling back and ignorning the guidance in the big things...hope that makes sense. Last stand firm against satan. Say it out loud. Satan GET THEE OUT... I am a child of the King and I wait patiently for His coming. I am blessed and whole in His sight and I know the Lord is bigger than this. One day at a time, one step at a time, one decision at a time.... ask God for what you need, He will never forsake you. When you don't know what you need, tell him. In Christ's Love, Lynne

That has to be a gutwrencher, but it can also be an opportunity for you to get closer to the Lord and to stand up in faith for your marriage. Obviously, if this kinda thing has been going on, it can't have been so good for you all these years.

God can change your husband, but it is really important you don't get ticked off and hurt and frazzled and do something even worse.

If you love yer husband, stand up for him in prayer and don't be a whiny hurt victim. Does that sound harsh? Perhaps, but the best defense is a good offense.

You can either let it kick you around, or get mad and smart and kick back!

And if makes you feel better, throw the computer out the window!