semperfi_psalm121 said:
Well, I think you are right. That is how men feel. But sometimes you have to step back. If it is a really big thing... that could cause some big problem.. then maybe you should be trying to do something... but I'm talking about times like.. maybe your wife had a bad day.. I don't know what she does so I can't give an example.. but like for me, I stay at home, but I could have a horrible day with the baby being fussy and not wanting to sleep and just crying all day. When my husband comes home, I just want him to listen so I can vent about my day and get it off of my chest.. and it's ok for him to sympathise, but sometimes he'll say.. then why don't you do this or that instead.. I don't want that.. I was just stressed and I wanted to talk about it. I think men also think we are complaining when we do that, but really we are just needing to vent.semperfi_psalm121 said:
If there's actually something wrong that can be fixed, of course it makes sense to fix it. If your wife is crying every evening because during the day she always stubs her toe on a floorboard sticking out of the floor... well, you kiss your wife better, then you go beat up the floorboard till it doesn't bother your wife anymore, right?semperfi_psalm121 said:
I've noticed that men often get ANGRY when frustrated or tired, whereas women often get teary. Either way, both want the same thing... they want the fact that they're upset to be acknowledged, they want to be seen to be having a good reason to be upset... then they want something done about it. Generally this should involve a calm discussion after the emotion's been acknowledged and the person's feeling better.
I didn't mean to imply that's what you were thinking about always, some guys are wonderful at that.. and i'm glad you are. I just wanted you to make sure you understood that.. some guys don't get it. I know sometimes the roles can even be reversed. If hers is quality time and not physical touch.. then she needs quality time... tell her you want to take her on a date.. I don't know if you have ch ildren.. but if you do.. get a babysitter... and take her out to do whatever she wants.. if you can't think of anything.. you can try something I did once.. my husbands is quality time too.. You don't have to be this fancy.. but I made him a little card.. and in it I have 5 empty spaces.. and I told him to write in 5 things he wanted to do that weekend or that evening.. I let him know that I wanted to give him a relaxed weekend allowing him to enjoy whatever he wants and it was going to be all about him. He loved it! Usually he doesn't pick anything.. he always wants me too.. but I made him. I was willing to go to a movie that he liked but I probably wouldn't.. things like that. I think that could work with either spouse. Just a suggestion.semperfi_psalm121 said:
OKsemperfi_psalm121 said:
It was just the way you wrote something along the lines of 'but there's not much time for that anymore'... sounded as though you were referring to sex... and sex only.
