Hi Recede,
You're asking how Christ-like we need to be? well, remember that the road to heaven is a long one, it's a continuous process that is subjected to God's grand plan. I was once like you too, bored in church, and i say, many people feel the same, especially younger ones in primary or high school.
But God has His own timing, He'll change your life in a way so unimaginable that you'll recognise it at once, or either in ways seemingly so small that you'll be changed through a period of time.
Christians are to be "salt and light" of the world, it's inevitable that we have to mingle with worldly stuff, but as salt and light, we'll lose our saltiness if we were influenced by the world!
take your case for example, i agree we don't have to listen to Christian music all the time, else Christianity will be a restrain to freedom. But those songs that constitute from rude and swear words we have to watch out. The world's system is that it doesn't matter whether you're rude or not, as long as you don't quite bother others and that everybody swears once in awhile.
However,
1) in Christ, we don't swear, we show kindness and courtesy to others.
2) won't we become a stumbling block to others if they thought being a Christian is just like everybody else?
3) a life is full of trials and temptations, it's certainly hard, but we've God on our side. Life's not rotten in our views, life's to glorify God.
4) think about it, if everybody starts listening to songs like that what would they become? we'll have a generation of swearing, negative-life youngsters running around. Somehow it's so ironic how the government spends so much $$ on education, and the wide media just goes and spoil all those efforts.
Praying (as you're doing), reading the bible and interacting with other Christians would help to further your understanding in God's guideline. It's really not that difficult, you just need the time to figure things out (with a bit of revelation from God).
Maybe you should try praying for your spiritual growth and relationship with fellow Christians in church. I've found that God really did listen to prayers. He'll surely help. I'll add you to my prayer, don't get frustrated Recede, everything will work out fine.