I need some advice for my current situation so I'll give you a little background information.
I have been divorced for around 12 years and have regular visitation with my 13 year old daughter. The marriage only lasted 8 months and my Ex and I were very young, so there hasn't been alot of fighting. We get along extremely well. (I have been invited to her wedding this May)
I have been married for 9 years to a very loving woman and have 2 children by this marriage.
My Ex-wife is a classic narcisist that is so focused on herself and her soap opra life that my daughter is suffering. Her grades in school (8th Grade) have dropped to all F's. Her emotional state isn't very good and I worry about her mental health as she transitions into early adult hood.
There have been some significant events lately that leed me to believe that my home would be a better environment for her than her mothers. My home is more structured, the focus is on God, there would be more supervision and my daughter would be able to focus on cleaning her life up.
My daughters mother has always allowed me as much access to my child as any divorced father could want.
Should I rock the boat? There are significant childhood development issues that I am worried about. The last thing I want is for my daughter to suffer due to her environment. I can't say that my Ex is a bad mother but I can say that living at my house would be extremely different for my daughter and I believe that it would provide my daughter with an environment that allows her to blossom into a beautiful, productive person.
My ex would probably agree deep down that my home would be a better place but her pride will make her fight me tooth and nail.
My ex is not a Christian, so she doesn't place any value on God and pleasing him.
I am not sure what to do here... I love my daughter more than life itself and it is heart wrenching to watch her self esteem get sqaushed smaller and smaller every day.
How do I approach my Ex to say this is what would be best for my daughter, lets work together to make this happen without having the whole thing blow up in my face.
I could probably overwhelm my Ex by spending a bunch of money on an attorney, her financial resources are very limited. But I am not sure this is the right way. I could also be pretty nasty and make her look unfit. She has had a very promicious lifestyle with 7 or 8 live ins over the last few years. I could also probably prove some emotional abuse issues, some law breaking (more like bending) to get state benefits, etc... All in All I might have a pretty good case in the courts but it could be a long drawn out fight.
My Ex has worked very hard to provide for all of her children (She has 3, her fiance has 2) SHe is a strong woman and I can honestly say that she isn't doing a bad job as a mother. I just believe that every child is unique and some children require more attention than others.
What do I do?
Sorry for the ramble,
-Brian
I have been divorced for around 12 years and have regular visitation with my 13 year old daughter. The marriage only lasted 8 months and my Ex and I were very young, so there hasn't been alot of fighting. We get along extremely well. (I have been invited to her wedding this May)
I have been married for 9 years to a very loving woman and have 2 children by this marriage.
My Ex-wife is a classic narcisist that is so focused on herself and her soap opra life that my daughter is suffering. Her grades in school (8th Grade) have dropped to all F's. Her emotional state isn't very good and I worry about her mental health as she transitions into early adult hood.
There have been some significant events lately that leed me to believe that my home would be a better environment for her than her mothers. My home is more structured, the focus is on God, there would be more supervision and my daughter would be able to focus on cleaning her life up.
My daughters mother has always allowed me as much access to my child as any divorced father could want.
Should I rock the boat? There are significant childhood development issues that I am worried about. The last thing I want is for my daughter to suffer due to her environment. I can't say that my Ex is a bad mother but I can say that living at my house would be extremely different for my daughter and I believe that it would provide my daughter with an environment that allows her to blossom into a beautiful, productive person.
My ex would probably agree deep down that my home would be a better place but her pride will make her fight me tooth and nail.
My ex is not a Christian, so she doesn't place any value on God and pleasing him.
I am not sure what to do here... I love my daughter more than life itself and it is heart wrenching to watch her self esteem get sqaushed smaller and smaller every day.
How do I approach my Ex to say this is what would be best for my daughter, lets work together to make this happen without having the whole thing blow up in my face.
I could probably overwhelm my Ex by spending a bunch of money on an attorney, her financial resources are very limited. But I am not sure this is the right way. I could also be pretty nasty and make her look unfit. She has had a very promicious lifestyle with 7 or 8 live ins over the last few years. I could also probably prove some emotional abuse issues, some law breaking (more like bending) to get state benefits, etc... All in All I might have a pretty good case in the courts but it could be a long drawn out fight.
My Ex has worked very hard to provide for all of her children (She has 3, her fiance has 2) SHe is a strong woman and I can honestly say that she isn't doing a bad job as a mother. I just believe that every child is unique and some children require more attention than others.
What do I do?
Sorry for the ramble,
-Brian
All of your ideas are in the right direction. My fear of ruining a working relationship with my-ex has been the main focus of my thoughts. 
