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Soulmate dumped me, very depressed

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cbrown74

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Due to some "complicated" reasons, the person I was dating recently just dumped me and completely cut me off and moved on. This person was perfect for me. She was a devout Christian, very pretty, nice, funny, spontanous, etc. Very hard to find this combo. We had talked about marriage, starting a new life together, even got an apartment together and bought all brand new furniture etc. Then, not 2 days after we moved in, she's gone. I've lost about 20 lbs since then, can't eat, sleep or even work. I'm trying to find my strength in Christ. I recently got Baptised and gave my life to Christ and have tried to cast my anxieties on to Him. But it just doesn't work. I feel like giving up on life. I just feel like I'll never find anyone that special again. I am asking for some help and guidance here. Is there someone for everyone out there? Can I get someone just as special again or will I have to settle just to be with someone? Im' VERY depressed. Please help before I lose it completely.
 

sparrow

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I know what it's like to be dumped. Last summer, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years - who I ADORED - broke up with me. I was very depressed too and lost weight and was in tears a lot.
I am now with someone else, and he is - dare I say it? - more special than the previous guy. I didn't think it was possible to find someone else that I would love as much, but it happened. I never thought it would.
I know it is difficult and I can see that yours is a munch harder situation than mine. But you will get through it, just hang in there.
 
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mmreed

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No matter what anyone says, words we say will not take away your pain. Having been there myself, when people say "it will get better" or "you will meet someone else even more special", I could only feel the loss and the words they said carried no impact. The truth is, the ONLY thing that will heal you is time. Again, those words at this point seem meaningless and you feel as if there will never be healing... but... it does come. Time erases these wounds. You will not forget them, but they will hurt less and less as time moves on. I still think back over past wounds like this and feel saddened and often wonder "what if"... but today I have a loving wife that I would not trade for anyone.

Time will deaden this hurt.

With that said, how do you deal with the pain until then? That is the hard part... I found myself unable to do anything without thinking about the loss... so instead of running from it, I embraced it... I surfed every "broken heart" website I could find...I posted everywhere..talked about it to everyone I could online.. that is whats great about the internet...you can find others in the same boat willing to talk and share... and when you talk and share, you realize you are not alone, and that fact in itself helps the pain lessen.

Also - take vitamin suppliments...when you are like this, you do not eat and the lack of nutrients contributes to the feelings.

Force yourself to be around other people...when you are, your body puts on a mask in attempt to not appear so weak and down...you focus more on "looking normal" instead of focusing on "being down" and that in itself helps also.

Feel free to email, IM or PM me!
 
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cbrown74

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Thanks for the help. It does help to know that others have gone through the same thing, but, it doesn't take the pain away. My problem is that I'm not very good at "getting" girls. So I tend to not put myself in situations that would let me meet girls. This girl I had literally walked into my house (long story that I won't get into here). It was so easy. It was love at first site between both of us. She was perfect, and a true believer in Christ. Very hard to find that nowadays. I tend to be very picky. I'm just praying that God feels the void in my heart with someone even more special. I'm just not a very patient person unfortunately. It would be nice is someone could pray for me. Thanks.
 
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cbrown74

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sparrow said:
I know what it's like to be dumped. Last summer, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years - who I ADORED - broke up with me. I was very depressed too and lost weight and was in tears a lot.
I am now with someone else, and he is - dare I say it? - more special than the previous guy. I didn't think it was possible to find someone else that I would love as much, but it happened. I never thought it would.
I know it is difficult and I can see that yours is a munch harder situation than mine. But you will get through it, just hang in there.
How long did it take to find your new boyfriend? Did you make a real effort to try and find a new one, or did it just happen? I'm just so depressed. I really like to have a soulmate and just spend time with that person. But I just feel like I'll never find one as good as her again.
 
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