Getting married young/in college

for me i think that the major disadvantage would be stress due to finances. we would have to work a lot to make enough money to support ourselves. the only other disadvantage would be that our families would be very upset with us (which doesn't bother me too much cause its my life and when God says we should get married then we're gonna get married).

the advantages.....academic support (having a buddy to study with and help u with hw), emotional support, spiritual support (he's a very Godly guy with great advice and it would definitely help me to grow spiritually having him there whenever i want to talk about the Bible or pray with someone or get some good christian advice)

I am going to be getting married after I graduate from uni but I will then be going to uni to do a PGCE it is a post grad teaching certificate and it is very stressful and there is alot of work but you can get a loan and and also you get paid £6000 for actually doing the course so there I won't have to work durign term time like I do now.
I feel there are going to be disadvantages liek I will be going home to my husband whenthe others are going out for drinks or out together etc but I don't have a problem with that as I don't normally go out like that now. Also as my husband to be is not a student he works full time he may distact me from my studies as he doesn't understand because he only went to college and never did a degree.
on the other hand he will support me and he is always checking up on me to make sure that i have done all my uni work because he wants me to do well also it will be good that we will be married during this year because he will be there to support me with i am through a very stressful time in my life and that would be alot harder for him and for me if you we waited another year.

I think that it depends compleatly on the individual it is right for some but not right for others

I am getting married in my last year of college but I don't look at it from a disadvantages/advantages perspective. I look at it from I love this person and if the only thing stopping us from getting married is that we are in college, then the only thing that we will have accomplished by waiting till graduation is.....being able to say we waited till gradutation! In our case, waiting till graduation doesn't make sense because we can easily handle the finances. As far as extracurricular activities go, we both won't stop participating in them (not that I have a lot of time to do them anyways in nursing school).
I say get married when YOU'RE READY. Not when someone else says that you are or when you're making the big bucks after graduating, etc

My fiance will have one year left in his masters program when we get married. I never really considered it as an obstacle to getting married. It's sort of in a different sphere of life... yes it's happening at the same time, but it's not related to our relationship's progress. I could understand if you were both in school across the country from each other or something... it *would* be nice to be able to live together once you're married! lol but seriously... it's gonna be a busy time, but this year has been a busy time too. At least we might see each other a little more often then!!

I think masters level is a lot different from undergrad though, cuz there's definitely not as much emphasis on the "college experience", and it's less structured (more "on your own" work) so you can schedule your work a little more.

For us, it would be silly to wait the extra year for my fiance to graduate. At this point in our relationship, the next logical step is marriage. To continue dating for another year, or even to be engaged for another year would seem rather pointless for us.

I would love to get married sometime tomorrow, but i know that we're going to have to wait until i graduate.
We're going to be going to different schools, him possibly in a different state. We really wouldn't be able to transfer to the same school because we have different wants and needs from our college experience. (he wants to go to a large school, i want to go to a small one. He wants to go to a school with a good chem. program, i need one with an ag. program, etc).
If it wasn't for the different college things and he wants to be over 20 when we get married and if his grandma didn't threaten his life if he got married his first few years of school, i'm sure we would. But as for now, we have to wait and let God lead us to where He wants us.

i think my bf wants to get married after uni. which is kewl, ill b out of uni too. but i would love to get married now.

I got married at 19 and my husband was in college, but I decided to wait to go because I didn't know what I wanted to do in college.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of getting married in college?

Advantages as I see them:
- financially cheaper (cheaper housing, more tuition-assistance in new income bracket/financial status) Nope not in our world, we own our home (there is no student housing on campus and the student apartments on campus are more expensive than our brand new house we had built.) that's kind of a plus for us but we got a good deal. My husband makes to much money to put us in on bracket for one grant though we do get another but not enough to pay for a full-load of classes. We resulted to students loan and through we get good financial aid we do have to pay it back eventually.

- emotional support- This is true, but at times it does get emotionally exhausting trying to juggle taking care of the home, spending time with my husband, and homework.

- sexual temptation alleviated (this is a big one)- true however being exhausted juggling everything you're in the mood a lot less, as well as when you have to stay up late studying or writing a paper it's out of the question.

I'm still getting my BA and though my husband is out of college it still makes things more difficult, not for him or us but more for me. It is hard to juggle everything and I feel bad on the nights I'm too tired or when I have to work on something and can't spend time with him. I highly suggest married after the husband has graduated and has a full-time job but I think it's even better when both are out of school. It can be done and I've adjusted to it somewhat, but I'd rather already have my degree and be working. It will not be easy, it takes a lot of work that's for sure.

financially cheaper (cheaper housing, more tuition-assistance in new income bracket/financial status)

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Yes, but keep in mind the cost of the wedding also. But, I'm sure families on both sides would be willing to help.

emotional support

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Yes, but you can get emotional support from a fiance as well.

sexual temptation alleviated (this is a big one)

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Agreed.

academic stress added to newlywed adjustment (may not be a problem for some)

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Yep, but like you said, you get have that emotional support as well.

missing out on some extra-curricular activities / not getting the full "college experience"

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You don't have to "miss out" on anything; why not invite your spouse to go along with you?


As long as you're keeping God as your foundation in a relationship, I think it will all go well. Of all the couples in my family, the ones that were married young (18-ish) are the ones that have stayed together. Mayhaps it's just my family, but still. That's evidence for me nonetheless.

God bless

I got married my JR year of college -- my husband was a sophomore but also older than me.

- financially cheaper (cheaper housing, more tuition-assistance in new income bracket/financial status) agreed. It is SO MUCH easier having a double income, even while we're both in school. Rent is split so it's automatically easier than living on my own. Plus, food costs are lower, as well, because you share so much.

- emotional support agreed

- sexual temptation alleviated (this is a big one) agreed. And I know someone above mentioned that it can be hard when you're tired and/or have a paper due, but there is always a compromise in this. You either have sex or you don't. If one person is too tired or has too much homework, you either do it anyway or you wait until the next day. It's not usually a big deal -- you just have to work something out that works for both parties.

- academic stress added to newlywed adjustment (may not be a problem for some) I thought it made stuff easier for me...there was less stress and I had someone to come home to who could hold me and listen to how bad my day was and help me with my homework if I had problems.

- missing out on some extra-curricular activities / not getting the full "college experience"
I've never been big on this because when I'm not working, I'm studying, but if you're already actively involved you can still do quite a bit with your spouse. I've seen many couples do it and be fine.

For those of you who HAVE gotten married while you're in college, what type of jobs do you have? How much money do you make? Do you have a strict budget with all your money allocated for bills, or do you have a little room to breathe financially--ie do you have any discretionary funds?

I'm just curious because my boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage a lot lately, but he's much more hesitant than I am to get married while we're in college; basically, he's scared to death that we won't be able to make it.

Jen

lacedinlavender said:

For those of you who HAVE gotten married while you're in college, what type of jobs do you have? How much money do you make? Do you have a strict budget with all your money allocated for bills, or do you have a little room to breathe financially--ie do you have any discretionary funds?

I'm just curious because my boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage a lot lately, but he's much more hesitant than I am to get married while we're in college; basically, he's scared to death that we won't be able to make it.

Jen

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My husband is in the air force, so we have our housing needs taken care of (we get an extra housing allowance), but for the first three months of our marriage we were living apart, so my rent was $600 a month, plus bills. I worked full time and made $10 an hour at a call center, which was enough to cover my rent, bills, and food for the month -- but not much else. Now that we're able to live together everything is a lot easier because of the shared living space (rent is cut in half), plus your food costs will go down, too, since you only need one of many things (butter, milk, etc).

How much money you need depends on where you live. At the moment we're in Hawaii and cost of living here is a lot higher -- most 2 bedroom apartments run 1000-1750 a month.

Most couples can live on a lot less than they think they can. You just have to figure out how much you'll need each month for rent, food, bills, and any other miscellaneous items that might come up (movies? CDs?), and then figure out how much you need to make to cover that.

Another thing to think about is that most married college students get more financial aid options, which is a huge help! You'll also (probably) get quite a bit of money in wedding checks from great aunts you didn't even know you had.

The trick, for us, has just been limiting what we spend money on. We pay our bills first, buy groceries, and eat at home as much as possible. (Sorry if I have typos...I've got a bandaid on my finger that isn't showing me the love....) Eating at home saves a TON of money. Also, instead of going out to movies we'll rent a movie or buy one for $5 at Wal-Mart. You can keep your electric bills low by using fans instead of the AC and space heaters instead of a gas furnace, keeping your water heater on a low setting, and turning lights off when you leave the room.

We may not get everything we want or have to wait a couple of paychecks for something, but we've survived just fine!!