Longdistant relationships

chocolateloverjen · Feb 11, 2006

Just wondering how many of you all are in longdistant relationships?

and also if you arnt would you be in one?

you can talk about how you feel about it in hear, questions, answers, ups and downs, positives and negatives.

Ps, i of course am in one

doctorluke · Feb 11, 2006

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" (proverb)

seamonster · Feb 11, 2006

My husband and I were long distant throughout the entire duration of our dating, and the first three months of our marriage. It was hard being so far apart, but it's so EASY being together now because we know so much about each other...we really had to work hard to keep communication open and really TALK to each other while we were dating. We were forced to learn about each other's hearts because we couldn't focus on the physical being so far apart (3500 miles). It was especially hard when we got married and were still separate for a few months, but our relationship is so strong now, and I wouldn't change it. If I could go back, I wouldn't have wished for a non-long-distance relationship. We learned too much and loved too strongly. There were nights I thought I'd never survive being alone any more, but we both did it and we're both happily in love.

Rin4Christ · Feb 11, 2006

I am semi-LD (he works about an hour and a half away and ravels alot so the trent is that i see him every couple of weeks, sometimes more sometimes less.) It looks like it will be truly long distance next year when i leave for graduate school (a few states away more than likely).

I think it may have actually strengthened out relationship because we cherish the time we are together and have to communicate more fully when we can (sometimes he will be out of touch for a few days due to travels).

Its not an ideal situation, but we are making it work. Hopefully if we go on to get married we will have a little while of non-LD because i can immagine the adjustment of living together would be even greater if there was also an adjustment to spending so much time together too.

Carri20 · Feb 11, 2006

I'm currently in a LDR. Our distance is nearly 1,000 miles, we've never met in person, and we're engaged. Most people think it's crazy but let's look at the pros and cons of LDRs...

LDR Pros:

1. Being long-distance promotes communication and emotional connectedness rather than just physical attraction.
2. It requires two people to trust each other fully.. A must for any healthy relationship.. And if you find it too difficult to trust the person, it can be easier to cut ties and move on to someone you can trust.
3. No matter how tempted you are, in an LDR you can't fornicate and therefore can't become pregnant or contract an STD.
4. Being long-distance makes the times you do see each other much more enjoyable and intense.
5. Meeting long-distance (over the Internet) and spending the first stages of the relationship long-distance can be a lot more comfortable than traditional dating, especially for the shy introverted type.

LDR Cons:

1. You miss the person terribly and long to be with them.

...I can't think of any more for cons.

Personally, I prefer LDRs over regular dating. I love knowing that I have something incredible to look forward to when I meet my fiance for the first time. I love our daily discussions about God and the Bible, our plans for the future, and our past and current lives. If we were together in person we might instead be tempted to spend more time on the couch watching movies and touching each other than actually getting to know each other as people. So I'm grateful we got our start this way, and I know we'll be together in God's perfect timing.

ChildOfGod20 · Feb 11, 2006

we're an hour and a half apart. we see each other every other weekend. it's hard cause i wish we could be together all the time but i think we've learned a lot about each other this way because of the time we spend talking (on the phone) rather than cuddling and watching movies and stuff.

ClearHeartsGreyFlowers · Feb 11, 2006

I was in a Long Distance Relationship. Me and her were supposed to meet in August this summer for the very FIRST time. I was going to go see her. But she could not take it any longer to not be with me and to not hold me and not to see my face and cuddle with me etc.. so she ended it with me a few nights ago. She had to. And on top of that she also started to have feelings for someone else at her college that was CLOSE and right there for her when ever she wanted. I feel that she cheated on me. Her feelings for me were romantically the whole time. But now there not anymore she had a falling out. So she had to cool it with the romantic side of things.

I loved her with all my heart and soul. She was my very best friend in the whole world. I don't really think she knew how much i loved her and really cared for her. Jennifer i miss you.

chocolateloverjen · Feb 12, 2006

ClearHeartsGreyFlowers said:
I was in a Long Distance Relationship. Me and her were supposed to meet in August this summer for the very FIRST time. I was going to go see her. But she could not take it any longer to not be with me and to not hold me and not to see my face and cuddle with me etc.. so she ended it with me a few nights ago. She had to. And on top of that she also started to have feelings for someone else at her college that was CLOSE and right there for her when ever she wanted. I feel that she cheated on me. Her feelings for me were romantically the whole time. But now there not anymore she had a falling out. So she had to cool it with the romantic side of things.

I loved her with all my heart and soul. She was my very best friend in the whole world. I don't really think she knew how much i loved her and really cared for her. Jennifer i miss you.

I am really sorry that happend. Girls miss their boyfriends so much and with all their hormones going on they dont know what to think.
Sometimes i forget that its the one i love at the other end of the phone, its not the same as been together and talking to each other in person.
I sometimes think my boyfriend doesnt miss me because he copes so well with it, but he said to me the other week 'i stay strong because i know your the one, and i have to for you' he knows i break up alot, and cant cope sometimes, so hes prtecting me

.

Im sure you will find someone else, if she doesnt come back to you that is

.

God Bless

xxx

thanx for all your interesting posts in hear, i like to hear how others feel etc.
Carri20 cant believe that youve met someone but you havent, i think thats awesome. I bet you find it hard at times but come on LDR are great.

Krazy_4given_1 · Feb 12, 2006

Well, I'm in a LDR. I believe God puts people into the kind of relationship they need to be in. : )

We've been together for quite awhile. And we've known eachother for well over two years. We had some rough times, but nothing that God hadn't planned. And now, God is the very center and foundation of our relationship.

I think that's a major detail... God needs to be the center of all relationships... there's countless verses on loving... and if you love you're in God... and all sorts. So yeah...

We're courting, I suppose. Wow, I just kind of realized that. Never doubt God has a plan, and always pray!

Mskedi · Feb 12, 2006

The second half of my last relationship was long distance. I saw him anywhere from once a month to once a week as he went to school about 3 hours away. If I can avoid doing that again, I will.

My current boyfriend's schedule is changing so much in the next week that I'll likely only see him once a week. And then I'll be going back to grad school, so that'll be rough, too. The difference is that in this relationship we're already solid, whereas in the last one my ex moved away just as things were getting started.

septemberskies · Feb 12, 2006

Carri20 said:
I'm currently in a LDR. Our distance is nearly 1,000 miles, we've never met in person, and we're engaged. Most people think it's crazy but let's look at the pros and cons of LDRs...

LDR Pros:

1. Being long-distance promotes communication and emotional connectedness rather than just physical attraction.
2. It requires two people to trust each other fully.. A must for any healthy relationship.. And if you find it too difficult to trust the person, it can be easier to cut ties and move on to someone you can trust.
3. No matter how tempted you are, in an LDR you can't fornicate and therefore can't become pregnant or contract an STD.
4. Being long-distance makes the times you do see each other much more enjoyable and intense.
5. Meeting long-distance (over the Internet) and spending the first stages of the relationship long-distance can be a lot more comfortable than traditional dating, especially for the shy introverted type.

LDR Cons:

1. You miss the person terribly and long to be with them.

...I can't think of any more for cons.

Personally, I prefer LDRs over regular dating. I love knowing that I have something incredible to look forward to when I meet my fiance for the first time. I love our daily discussions about God and the Bible, our plans for the future, and our past and current lives. If we were together in person we might instead be tempted to spend more time on the couch watching movies and touching each other than actually getting to know each other as people. So I'm grateful we got our start this way, and I know we'll be together in God's perfect timing.

Another negative is not being able to hug and kiss the person you care about IMO.

Moluku · Feb 12, 2006

I'm in an LDR. He's in Texas, I'm in Oregon. We met here on the forums about a month ago and have developed a close relationship. He's on an internship in Paraguay for the next 10 weeks, but we've already managed to set up ways to keep in touch and such. Right after he gets back he's coming to visit me for a few weeks so I'm excited to say the least.

Moluku · Feb 12, 2006

septemberskies said:
Another negative is not being able to hug and kiss the person you care about IMO.

I totally agree.

barefeetonholyground · Feb 13, 2006

Tried it, enjoyed it, succeeded in it. You wouldn't believe how much better you get to know someone long distance than you do seeing one another every day for a year. You really learn to communicate in the absense of one another's company.

chocolateloverjen · Feb 13, 2006

Seattle Rain said:
Tried it, enjoyed it, succeeded in it. You wouldn't believe how much better you get to know someone long distance than you do seeing one another every day for a year. You really learn to communicate in the absense of one another's company.

Totally agree

jesuslivesinme · Feb 13, 2006

Im in one right now...im in Canada, shes in Africa (shes canadian on a mmission) for a whole year. I believe that everything happens for a reason. so God provides this time for him to change us and prepare us for marriage ! woohhooo. I believe that our love will be stronger than ever ...it already is considering the few times wwe are able to talk to each other.

chocolateloverjen · Feb 13, 2006

jesuslivesinme said:
Im in one right now...im in Canada, shes in Africa (shes canadian on a mmission) for a whole year. I believe that everything happens for a reason. so God provides this time for him to change us and prepare us for marriage ! woohhooo. I believe that our love will be stronger than ever ...it already is considering the few times wwe are able to talk to each other.

wow thats great. i think everything happens for a reason and i know that Ric and i are meant to be, so if he takes a year out and goes abroad on a mission for God then i would be fine with it because i know that its God's will. I feel so happy knowing that. And i know he would never do anything to hurt me or even myself to hurt him becaUSE the long distant relationship has shown we can trust and we know we wouldnt do anything like that at all.
Plus i suppose you two can send each other letters, which are great to read when you get them, and to reply is even more fun because its still a form of contact and all :hug:

.or the modern way of course-emails!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also do Bible studys with my boyfriend over the phone which i find very helpful. So maybe you could find passages and send them to each other. he he he.

Moluku · Feb 13, 2006

Seattle Rain said:
Tried it, enjoyed it, succeeded in it. You wouldn't believe how much better you get to know someone long distance than you do seeing one another every day for a year. You really learn to communicate in the absense of one another's company.

I couldn't agree more.

daveprez · Feb 13, 2006

My girlfriend and I have been together a year and 1/2 of our relationship has been two hours apart. We went to highschool together, but I am a year older. She is a senior this year and I am two hours away at college.
Overall, since Christ is the center of our relationship, it hasnt been overwelmingly hard to be apart...

But those times where we havent been together for a couple weeks or more really stinks.

What I like about being away is nothing... I honestly, cant stand being away from my girlfriend.

What i dislike about being away from her is everything.

BUT... its really not that hard.

Carri20 · Feb 14, 2006

Krazy_4given_1 said:
I believe God puts people into the kind of relationship they need to be in. : )

Amen!

Longdistant relationships

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