The Fall of Emporer Fabulous I

The Fall of Emperor Fabulous

020402JF

From the balcony outside of his castle's bedroom, Emperor Fabulous gazed with pride
across the lush, fertile valleys of his kingdom. A vast array of interconnecting
waterfalls and brooks babbled gently as the varicolored flowers took bloom under the
morning sun. A group of fairies fluttered over the edenic scene, flying in sporadic
patterns with streams of sparkling dust in their wake. The quaint chirping of a
group of birds perched near the balcony caught the ear of Lady Marvelous, and she
began to stir in her bed.

"Good morning, my love.", said Emperor Fabulous. Lady Marvelous got out of bed and
smiled warmly as she approached her lover and they embraced. "My darling, you were
so... fabulous, last night." she said with her voice reeking of blissful complacency.
"You should expect nothing less of me, my love." he replied. They stood for a moment,
still snuggled together like infants in the woolly cotton grains of infancy, and admired
the sheer beauty of the scene before them. It was then that Pathos began walking up
one of the stoney pathways towards the castle. Emperor Fabulous noticed him fist.
"What is that cursed little troll doing here again?", he snarled under his breath.


Pathos trudged his way up the stoney path to the castle of Emperor Fabulous. He
wore an old, dirty leather suit and shoes with holes in them. The sight of his poor,
wretched condition contrasted sharply with the beauty of the garden in which he walked.
Pathos cared little, however. He was quite used to being an eyesore. Some birds
chirping above his head beckoned him to look upward, and upon doing so he saw the
magnificent Lady Marvelous standing proudly on the balcony of her bedroom. The sun
reflected off of her long, beautiful hair, sending a resplendent wash of tranquillity
across the kingdom. Pathos smiled and began muttering incoherent poetic phrases to
himself as he walked toward the castle gates. Upon arriving he spoke in a haughty
voice to the guards, "Good day my dear fellows. I am here to visit with the Lady
Marvelous. Please move aside and allow me to enter." The guards sneered at him
and the more burly of the two grumbled, "The Lady does not wish to see you right
now, you miserable mendicant." Pathos shuffled his feet and moved surreptitiously
closer to the larger of the two guards. "What do you think you're doing!? Get out of
here!", the guard growled, much louder this time. Pathos stood his ground and grinned.
The guard, more visibly angry now than ever, drew his axe and took a defensive stance.
It was then that the loud crackling of the antiquated pine and steel filled the air
from behind him, as the castle doors began to creep open. There stood Lady Marvelous,
in all her beautiful splendor.

"My Lady!", said both of the guards, as they took to one knee in front of her. "Hello
my dear.", said Pathos, smiling brightly at the sight of his love. "Pathos, what on
Earth are you doing here? It is so early in the morning and you know I am very busy
these days!" Lady Marvelous tried not to use too disparaging of a tone in her voice.
She did not wish to exacerbate the ills of his already hopelessly melancholy soul.
"I'm sorry my Lady", Pathos replied, "but I just had to see you. I.. I've been wondering.
Perhaps you could join me in a stroll through the city. Th.. th.. the weather is just,
lovely nowadays, and you know the musicians in Town Square are just--" before he could
finish his thought, Lady Marvelous interrupted him, placing a sympathetic hand on his
cheek. "Pathos, you know I can't do that. I'm sorry. I have to go now... Here take
care of yourself." She pulled a few gold coins from her pocket and enclosed them
within his hand. Pathos' eyes began to tear up. "I.. I don't want your charity! I
want your love!", he cried. "Goodbye Pathos..." she answered, now feeling guilty
and sad. She turned around and ordered the guards to close the door. It was at times
like this that Lady Marvelous wished she were one of the common people. Despite how
happy she was with her current position in life, despite the grandiose honor of being
the Lady of the land, the lover of the great Emperor Fabulous, at times she wished she
could just be another woman. Just another woman, who could indulge in the everyday
pleasures of the common people. Just another woman who could laugh and cry without
being overwhelmed by servants and chambermaids, seeing to her every whim and desire.
There was a part of her that shared Pathos' love. She knew he had the heart of a poet and
the acumen of a genius. It was just that his humanity had been warped beyond recognition
by a history of poverty, heartache, and misfortune.

She went up to her bedroom and lifted a loose stone up from the floor. There
were several pieces of paper hidden underneath. They were poems that Pathos had
written for her. She had hidden them so that she could keep them in spite of Emperor
Fabulous' request that she dispose of them. She laid back, wrapping the smooth,
silken sheets of her bed around her body, and began to reread them for what must have
been the hundredth time. They were the most beautiful, eloquent words she had ever
heard in her life. It was then that she heard the familiar trod of Emperor Fabulous'
footsteps coming up the stairs. She quickly lifted the same brick from the floor and
placed the poems back in to their cache. She looked up just as Emperor Fabulous,
standing tall and proud, entered the room. "Hello my love!" she said, smiling
brightly. "My dear, the guards told me that miserable beggar had returned here again.
I'm sorry he keeps bothering you, I will see to it that it never happens again.", he
said. "My darling, you know how I pity the poor fellow.", Lady Marvelous replied, "I
do not mind him coming here for a few gold coins every now and then. Besides, you
know it is our duty to take care of our people." "Perhaps you are right", Emperor
Fabulous answered, "but I for one wish he would pack up his rags and move to another
land! He is but a blemish on the face of our otherwise perfect kingdom!" Lady Marvelous
smiled. There were times when she found her husband's haughty nature charming, and
times when she found it disturbing. Either way, she knew he was a good man at
heart. "My dear, let's not worry about it right now..." she said, approaching
him seductively. "Perhaps you are right. It is best not to dwell on such..
unfortunate things.", Emperor Fabulous replied, as he and his wife embraced in a
passionate kiss. Lady Marvelous wrapped her arms around him and moaned gently as he
moved down to kiss her neck. They then proceeded to make love for hours, and during
those few hours, and the hours that followed, Pathos was completely absent from the mind
of Lady Marvelous.

Pathos stealthily maneuvered his way through the garden outside the Emperor’s
castle. He was going to gather the most beautiful of all the flowers and fashion
them in to a bouquet as a gift to Lady Marvelous. It was hard to make out the
various colors in the darkness of night, but Pathos was sure that the guards would
chase him away during the day. He made his way down the stoney pathways, hunched
over, probing the vegetation. In the distance he heard a disturbance. Suspecting
that it may be a guard, he made his way across the garden and ensconced himself
behind some bushes. He assumed the fetal position and tried to stay as low to the
ground as possible. After a few minutes and not hearing any more noises, Pathos
assumed it was safe and started to get back up on his feet. But before he had even
gotten up both knees, he felt a strong hand come down upon his back, gripping his
coat and pulling him upward. It was the same guard he had antagonized earlier in
the day. The guard, looking very pleased with himself, grinned fiendishly. He
turned to his partner and said, "Go get the Emperor. Tell him we have found an
interloper and would like orders on how to deal with him." The second guard
started making his way back toward the castle as his superior commanded. "You had
better hope the Emperor has more mercy on your pathetic soul than I would, little
man.", the guard snarled. Pathos, not wanting to get in to even more trouble,
kept his mouth shut. After a few minutes of waiting the second guard came out,
with Emperor Fabulous following behind him. The Emperor was wearing his sleeping
clothes, and seemed very annoyed by the fact that someone had interrupted his slumber.
The head guard threw Pathos on the ground at the Emperor’s feet. "We found this
thief stealing flowers from the Garden. When I asked him to leave he assaulted me!"
The guard's prevarication inspired Pathos to shoot a menacing glare his way. He
decided not to accuse the guard of lying, since surely the Emperor would not take
the word of a thief over that of the head of his guard. "What should we do with
him, your highness?", the head guard inquired. Emperor Fabulous walked slowly
over to Pathos, looking at him with utter disdain. "You have brought shame to
my countryside for the last time, you vile little troll." he said with morbid
finality in his voice. He then started making his way back towards the castle,
and pausing slightly and turning his head to the side, he said, "Kill him."


Pathos began screaming and kicking. "No! I haven't done anything to deserve
this! Stop! No!" The head guard punched Pathos in the stomach, knocking the wind
out of him. Pathos coiled over in pain and began gasping for air. "With pleasure
your highness.", the head guard proclaimed as he and his partner started making
their way to a small structure adjacent to the castle, dragging Pathos in tow. By
the time they got to the door, Pathos had caught his breath and attempted to
escape. He only got about two feet before the head guard grabbed him by the hair
and pulled him to the ground and began pummeling his face. Pathos began to bleed
profusely from the nose. The second guard pulled a key from his belt and opened
the door to the building they were near. The head guard threw Pathos in to the arms
of his partner, who carried Pathos in to the room and forced his head down on to a
stone slab. Pathos continued to kick and squirm, but the guards were much stronger
than he. His face was so covered in blood that it was difficult to see, but he could
make out many axes, swords, and flails on the wall. It appeared to be some sort of
armory. Pathos could see the head guard casually browsing through the various
cutlery, no doubt choosing which weapon to decapitate him with. The guard removed a
long battle axe from a stand near the corner. It had blades on both sides of the
shaft, and a spear tip coming out from the top. The guard walked slowly over to
Pathos and held the blade of the axe across the back of his neck, as if he were
aiming it. Pathos began frantically squirming but he could barely move. The guard
hoisted the gigantic axe high over his head, preparing to strike. It was then
that Pathos managed to kick his right leg backwards, catching the guard that was
holding him in the groin. The guard screamed in pain and loosened his grip,
giving Pathos the opportunity to quickly move out of the way, just as the head
guard's axe came crashing down on to the stone slab. Before the head guard had
time to react, Pathos grabbed tightly on to the shaft of the axe and kicked the
head guard in the knee, sending him stumbling backwards with the large axe still
in the firm grip of Pathos' hands. Then Pathos, summoning forth all of the rage and
anger bottled up within him, charged at the head guard, stabbing him through the stomach
with the spear-head of the axe. Pathos let out a loud, shrill scream as he pulled
the blade from the body of the head guard and brought it down with all the force his
small body could muster on the neck of the other guard, lopping the head off of his body.
All of the pain, anger and despair that Pathos had endured in his life was culminating
in this one intense moment of hatred. His body quivered with viciousness. His eyes
trembled and pulsated with the rapid beating of his heart. Pathos unsheathed the
sword of the second guard and gripping it tightly in his hands, stormed his way
out of the armory and towards the castle of Emperor Fabulous.


The back entrance to the tower leading up to the Emperor’s bedroom was now
completely unguarded. Pathos went inside, and began making his way up the
long spiral staircase to the Emperor’s bedroom. The Emperor, having just
entered his bedroom, heard footsteps behind him. He paused and turned around.
"Who goes there? Guards?" His calls went unanswered as the footsteps drew closer
and closer. "What's going on!?" shouted Lady Marvelous from the bed behind her
Emperor. It was then that Pathos rounded the corner. Emperor Fabulous jumped
back in shock upon seeing Pathos' face, so twisted in anger. "Fabulous!" Pathos
shouted as he charged towards the Emperor with his sword hoisted above his head.
He brought down the blade on the Emperor’s chest, slicing him all the way down
through his stomach. Emperor Fabulous let out one last gasp as he languidly stumbled
backwards and fell to the ground. Lady Marvelous screamed in horror as she ran
to her fallen husband in tears, wrapping her arms around his lifeless body. "No!
No! Oh my god you [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]! You evil [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]! How could you do this you evil
monster!?" Each one of her harsh words pierced Pathos' soul like a dagger. She
kept screaming and crying in-between her scathing condemnations of Pathos. Pathos
couldn't take it. He let out a piercing shriek and drove his sword through the chest
of Lady Marvelous. For a moment, time seemed to stand still, but then Lady Marvelous
started to gasp for air as the life began to drain from her body. Her eyes, wide with
shock and horror, connected with Pathos'. It was then, seeing that horrible look on
her face, that he regained his sanity and realized what he had done. The look in his
eyes changed from that of an angry madman to that of a terrified and bewildered beggar,
shocked over what he had done. That look was the last thing Lady Marvelous saw, as
she fell to the ground, lifeless. Pathos was too shocked to speak or cry. He
looked at the corpses on the floor surrounding him feeling disgusted with himself.
It was then that he held the tip of the sword up to his chest, and fell forward on
to the ground, impaling himself. Pathos rolled over on to his side as his lower body
began to feel numb. He noticed an overturned brick on the floor of the bedroom, and
next to it, some papers, all stained with blood. With his last ounce of strength he
reached over and picked up one of the papers. It was one of the poems he had written
for Lady Marvelous. She had been reading them to herself under the moonlight while
her husband slept. Pathos cursed himself, and spent the last moments of his life
wishing that he had never existed.

Oh, great. An overactive language filter. Let's see how it likes these Bible verses:


Deuteronomy 23:2 - A [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Zechariah 9:6 - And a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] shall dwell in Ashdod, and I will cut off the pride of the Philistines.

Hebrews 12:8 - But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]s, and not sons.