My son calling my husband daddy

Leanna · Nov 7, 2005

Yo what up, you may or may not know my situation. Let me give you the short version. My husband is not my son's biological father, we were separated, blah blah, we have been back together since I was 6 months pregnant. My husband was there for the birth, changes the diapers, feeds him food, pays the bills.... my son's biological father has seen David 5 times since birth by his own choice. So I am looking into getting a visitation amount in writing, and I was posting on a "legal" forum asking a few questions and they were all freaking out that I allow my son to call my husband daddy. The way I see it.... my son has two daddies... is this a big deal? I don't see why my baby boy needs to be denied the right to have a daddy at home simply because of the situation. What do you think? I think my husband is daddy. Maybe someday he can legally adopt David..... maybe

Redguard · Nov 7, 2005

1. Yes, your husband can legally adopt David, given that David's biological father approves.

2. There's nothing wrong with David calling your husband daddy. What's he supposed to call him? Jim?

Amélie Unbound · Nov 7, 2005

I agree with the above posts. Your husband is daddy.

Linnis · Nov 7, 2005

Daddy is the man who's there to kiss the owies, change the diapers and who he waits to see, the Father is the guy who gave him some DNA and by choice has only seen him five times. Not much to argue IMO.

I think it would be a great idea for your husband to legally adopt David and if he can, I think it would be great for both of them.

suzybeezy · Nov 7, 2005

Children are very perceptive - regardless of their age. I'm sure you son already knows in his heart who he feels is his daddy. It's very important for boys especially, to have a good father figure. And since his biological father isn't steppin' up to the plate, by all means, your husband should. As your son grows and you are honest about the situation, he'll understand and be greatful for your husband steppin' in and being there for him. Even if his biological father does step in for visits, I think it's okay to call them both Daddy. Like my friend's daughter calls her step father "Dad" and her biological father "Daddy Mike".

Athene · Nov 7, 2005

I can't remember where I read this, sadly it's not from my brain. It's a nice quote.

'Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy'

It might be good for your husband to legally adopt David, if he's willing.

Leanna · Nov 7, 2005

The issue with adoption is that the biological father has to be willing to sign away all rights, not to mention we need several thousand. In good time we will have both items I hope, but the bio father goes back and forth on how he feels about considering adoption.... he really wants to be a part of his son's life, he doesn't like the way it is, so... its all confusing... yeah.

ChildOfGod20 · Nov 7, 2005

it's a tough situation. my biological father gave up parental rights to my stepdad when i was three and my stepdad has been my dad ever since. my bio father now wishes he would have never signed the papers. so yea its a tough situation. especially since my stepfather has now left us too and i'm left with a last name that really has no significance. but anyway, even if ur sons bio father doesn't give up his parental rights, ur son will still know who has been there for him his whole life and he can still call him daddy. theres no problem with that.

alwaysyoung · Nov 7, 2005

Calling him "daddy" is a good thing.
Lisa

RooMama · Nov 7, 2005

My brother married a woman who had been married before and she had a 2 year old daughter. She's now 14 and has called my brother Dad almost from the beginning of the marriage. She has regular visitation with her bio dad and calls him Dad, as well. No one has a problem with it. I think if your husband is raising your son, he absolutely has the right to be called Daddy.

4jacks · Nov 7, 2005

Leanna said:
Yo what up

Typical Skinny White Girl Living in the Boon Docks...

Gesh..

anyway.. lemme give you the Real Answer

NO ... No it is not okay for your son to be calling your husband "DADDY" do you want him to get picked on and beat up in school... HE'S A BOY!! He's suppose to call him "DAD" or "POPS" or "YO OLD MAN" none of this daddy stuff... gesh...

Seriously, I think it's a good thing, all my half siblings call my dad "DAD"

Redguard · Nov 7, 2005

Athene said:
I can't remember where I read this, sadly it's not from my brain. It's a nice quote.

'Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy'

It was right here.

Blue Impulse said:
You know the old adage: Anyone can be a father, but it takes something special to be a dad.

Lena75 · Nov 7, 2005

Sounds like you have all the right answers!

Your husband is the daddy.

Mr.Cheese · Nov 7, 2005

I can think of a lot of fathers who will never deserve to be called daddy.
I give your husband kudos to stepping up to the plate even though it's not his child.

That's a rare find these days.

marciebaby · Nov 7, 2005

Regarding "Daddy," that's a great thing. My two children are from my previous marriage and call my husband "Daddy," as well as their biological father-whom they see about once or twice a year.

Regarding the adoption: If he's willing to sign over his rights, that's the easiest thing. You could also prove abandonment if he hasn't contacted you in over a year, OR if he hasn't provided any financial support in a year. The third option would be to prove that he would be unfit as a parent, which generally means that he's abusive.

heartnsoul · Nov 7, 2005

Move over 4jacks!

I have the real answer!

Leanna, I think it's wonderful that your son calls your current husband "daddy." Hopefully the bio-father will wake up soon and smell the coffee ...and become a daddy to his son too. Hey, in a world where there are shortages of good fathers, it's truly a blessing to have ONE dad...some people don't even have one! So to have a possible "TWO" daddies, that is even better. I hope your son is able to love both of them in his own way and develop a special bond with each of them.

Sounds like your husband is a great man. As Tim McGraw once quoted, "It takes a real man to be a dad." May God bring conviction to your ex and help him be a better father and may your son be blessed with two wonderful fathers. :angel:

MERCY@GRACE · Nov 7, 2005

Wow I didn't know that.(about your dh)

I don't know why they went all crazy on you. It's not like your son is 10 or older, where I could 'possibly' see a problem if he was made to call your dh dad...but since he was there since birth..he is dad!

squatpuke · Nov 8, 2005

Your son needs a SOLID dad....I think if you play the 2 "dad" card you're asking for confusion and emotional trouble from caring husband and son (who cares abou the other bum)

(IMHO, Husband="dad", ex="Jim" or whatever)

Shannonkish · Nov 8, 2005

I personally don't find it wrong for your son to call your husband daddy. I have lots of clients that are in similar situations in which their mother's husbands/boyfriends are not the bio father... they call them daddy regardless. Daddy is a term of indearment, not necessarily of family relations.

AlaskanAngels · Nov 8, 2005

I think it should be left up to the kids to deside. they know in there harts who Daddy is, A little boy I use to babysit called my husband daddy becouse he always heard my kids say it, There was no harm in it and he loves my husband.

My son calling my husband daddy

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