I'm new and frustrated...can anyone help?!

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Hi! :wave:

I'm Annie, and I came here out of a lot of hope and in need of help.

I'm sort of a yo-yo Christian and I don't like it!

I love it when I'm on the right track with God. I really don't like myself when I fall out of my faith...like I just did for about the umpteenth time in my life. I'm getting really sick of it!

How can I praise God if I turn my back all the time? :(

I really hope I can gather all my willpower and fight this 'changing my mind' battle I'm having...I would like to be a part of this place. I like it here so far!

Okay. Who am I? I'm a 26 year old woman, no kids, not married, still living with my parents. (Not for long...I'm moving out soon!) I love my faith (Lutheran) and love my life. I have a feeling I'd love it more if I paid more attention to God...y'know? :idea:

So, I think that's it...for now. Thanks for listening!

ANNIE
 
Hi, Annie.

I know what you're going through. I'm in the midst of the same kind of dilemma. I haven't been egregiously sinning, so to speak, but I have definitely been neglecting the Word and prayer.

Guess I might as well post my intro, as this is my first post. :)

My name is Gina. I'm 27, married, homeschooling mom of 2 in Arkansas. I'm a Sovereign Grace (Calvinistic) Baptist. I found this site while searching Vbulletin, and I think it's just great. :)

Annie, I hope someone is able to provide you (and me, too!) with some answers and encouragement
 
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FFX

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I know how you guys feel. Sometimes I find that I get really dried up... and I feel that I'm in need of a refreshing from God. Well, one thing I'm starting now, is prayer and fasting (I've been saying this practically all over the forums at the moment :sorry: ). But I find that it has given me this awesome feeling, that I can finally reach a new level with Jesus. And to finally tell Him that I'm getting serious. Well, that's for me anyway :pink:
 
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solo66 man

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Welcome to both of you.
Oh, how familiar you both sound. It is the sound reverbrating around the walls of my own mind. How frustrating and how difficult can it be?
One day I say, today I will keep my eyes on Jesus and He will work through me day and night. Another day comes and goes, and I say, "I can pray and get into the word later today. It can wait a couple fo hours." Then its tomarrow and I havent prayed and I am engaged in a sinful nature
that will last at very least 2 or 3 days. Not necessarily drugs or anything you can even point at and say that is a sin. But a falling away nonetheless. Sometimes is falling back into an old sin nature I thought I had repented of long ago. But here I am. I just thankful church is not far away or who knows how deeply I would get into this sin. And then Sunday rolls around and Ive been up all night or just late and I feel too guilty to go to church and tell myself,
"Surely, I cannot walk into the house of God like this. I would be just like the ones I dispise so much, the hippocrytes. And I roll over and cover my head, saying "God you will forgive me, wont you?" Then next Sunday is here faster than I anticapated and, "Oh no, I still have not repented. I fact I have even barely prayed all week long except silently before I eat." And its another Sunday without God and another week without my God ruling my life.
He seems to be so distant now. What has happened to me?
Several weeks roll by and I say, "God doesnt seem to care too much." I must be ok, I mean look at all those sinners out there. I am still so much better than they are.
Then one day it hits. What a alousy last two weeks I have had. Is God trying to reach me? Naw. I am ok, you're ok. That's how it goes, isn't it? Then I get called in on the carpet by the boss saying my job is slipping. I've been doing the same job. He must hate me or something. Driving home more and more people seem to get mad at me for driving too slow or to fast or I cut them off, its always something.
I get home and someone left me a phone call saying they are
angry because they heard I had said something about them and they don't want me to call them. I call them and they aren't around. So, I call my best friend. Suddenly he is out of town for the next month, he's in Japan. I can't talk to my parents, they will just judge me. Call my pastor? I haven't been to church in six months. He will just judge me about going to church. I don't need it. And it goes and goes
and goes. Until finally I say, I cant take it anymore.
I fall to my knees and pray, begging for forgiveness. I end up back in church doing at the very least one of the things I love to do best, and that worshipping God. "How did I ever
stop coming here? Praise the Lord."
All I can say is hang in there, dont stop praying ever, read your bible every day, and let nothing replace him in your heart. It does help if you have lots of friends who keep you in there prayers and you are accountable to.
God Bless you.
 
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Dewjunkie

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Annie,

I feel your pain. I was raised in the church (my dad is a minister), so on top of my recurring bouts with doubt is my guilt of not being as close as I should and not knowing as much about God and the Bible as I should given my upbringing. For many years I was away from God, and have recently come back. I love being a Christian again, my family and I have been blessed immeasurably since returning. Yet for some reason I can't seem to completely "let go and let God". I still have several issues that I struggle with, and a couple of them I almost willingly return to in moments of weakness. I ask forgiveness, feel good, live right a few days and then slide again. It's frustrating, embarassing, and I wish I knew how to stop. For now, I just keep praying for guidance, forgiveness, and strength.

Sorry I couldn't be more help, but maybe knowing you aren't the only one might help a little. I'll also say a little prayer for you.
 
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Hello, I'm new here. Felt like replying to you.
I totally paganed out for several years. Finally i guess i ran out of myself and decided to return to the truth. I committed myself to developing a relationship with God and learning the bible as much as I could. After about a year and a half, I have changed so much i don't really know who I am right now. I quit a job I loved to go to and went back to school. Reading the bible earnestly is what changed me so much. It's God's revelation of his will to us and we need to know it. Anyway, that is the nutshell version. Don't be so hard on yourself. God loves you.
 
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eldermike

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Hi Anna and Gina,

I have two daughters about your ages, and if they had asked me for advise in the area of Christian walking, this is what I would tell them.

First, be glad that you love God (grace), and be glad in His love for you (grace again). Remember that we are forgiven because we had to be forgiven, Jesus did that, it's finished, it's paid in full, there is no bill coming in the mail. Guilt is a trick of the enemy.

Second: Find a church family where your spiritual gifts can become useful in the kingdom of God. This is very important, we are gifted for a purpose and we all need an outlet for this gifting.

Third: Join or start a small group ministry that supports yours specific spiritual and service needs. This includes your age, martial status, interests and your challenges. Make this a priority, it shouldn't be difficult to find, many churches are seeing the dynamic changing ability of small group ministry.

Last: The spiritual disciplines can help us all. If you have a love for reading, take advantage of the many great books on Christian growth. Prayer, Fasting, Study, Simplicity, Submission, Service, Worship, Guidance and even Celebration. Study the manner in which Jesus lived.Study these to learn His ways, not to learn how to live only by obedience, but by faith. Remember that the Bible is the main book, the only real source of truth. And remember this: (it took me way too many years to learn) Prayer proceeds all action. And all action should be taken by faith, and not be sight.

God bless you and keep you.
 
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Most yo-yo christians or ones finding themself in that pattern temperarilly yo-yoness occurs because they feel a need to be too holy to make up for the bad life we have been living and then feel a need to rebel from a legalism that goes beyond the devotion that God requires of us putting them worse off than the not so bad lifestyle they had before. God doesn't want to put unreasonable demands on us. His guidelines are just that guidelines Paul speaks in his epistles about how Christ fulfilled the law and made the only requirements for us to love him and others in a courteous manner and sealed it with His death and reserection. Other than that doing deeds that put unnecessary limitations on a life going in the right direction only leads to a continuation of the cycle. God wants us to enjoy ourselves but not have our fun be hazardous to ourselves or others. All is Permissable, just not all is benificial. Not being too holy, nor too foolish like Solomon stated over and over in Ecclesiastes will make you more happy with how your life is going plus non-christians are more attracted to people that are realistic than to those escaping into the drug of religiosity. Keep posting on this board, I have found it to be fun and challenging to put up posts that people don't expect. That is how to get an impressive reputation here and elsewhere. Also email me at my personal address fablesarereal@goosemoose.com if you feel like you want to email back and forth between just us but whatever you do walk by faith and not by sight.
 
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GraftMeIn

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Hi Annie,
Welcome to the forums. So many times we get lost and head down the wrong path, somehow we manage to get tricked into trying to please other people, instead of God. Once we get to the end of that path, or somewhere in the midst of it, we notice we made a wrong turn, and head back to the path we know we must take. Now after truning down the wrong path we know exactly where it leads us, and that is nowhere, so we learn that that path is not for us, and we lose our desire to take it again, because we already know where it will lead us. There are many wrong paths for us to get lost on, the important thing is that God calls us back to the right one, and then all we can do once back on it is to pray that God will keep us there, and never let us wander down the wrong road again. The best way to stay on it is to keep your mind continually on God.

Keeping you in my prayers! and also thanking God for calling you back to him!
 
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Slave2SinNoMore

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Originally posted by Annie Insight
Hi! :wave:
I'm sort of a yo-yo Christian and I don't like it!

I love it when I'm on the right track with God. I really don't like myself when I fall out of my faith...like I just did for about the umpteenth time in my life. I'm getting really sick of it!

How can I praise God if I turn my back all the time? :(

I really hope I can gather all my willpower and fight this 'changing my mind' battle I'm having...I would like to be a part of this place. I like it here so far!

ANNIE
Hi Annie,
I would first like to say that God wants you to lay all your burdens on him, and he will give you rest - and peace.
Peace like you have never known. Believe me, I know that peace.

I'd like to share my testimony with you, because I have been exactly where you are now.

I was saved when I was 12 - that was almost 23 years ago. The first 14 years of that was, quite frankly, a rather misreable Christian existence. I indeed know how you feel with your "Yo-Yo" life, because I was there. I tried so hard to "be good"...I would be victorious over temptation one day, only to fail the next day or the day after that. High from Victory one day, crushed in defeat and sin the next day. It was awful. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

But that would change in 1993. Through conversations with my brother and a few close friends and a book called "Mister God, This is Anna", the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me the true nature of Grace, and what it really means. It started with the questions:

"What did Christ accomplish for me with his death on the cross?"
and
"Why did he have to die for me?"

Well, of course, we have been taught the answers to these questions from our childhood on, in Sunday School, and the like, haven't we? Christ died for us on the cross to save us from our sins, and because we couldn't save ourselves.

Even though I had known those answers for years, it finally started to sink in on me exactly how important those answers are. TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS BECAUSE WE COULDN"T SAVE OURSELVES.

Let's take the first part: Just to save us from the EFFECTS of sin (ie: death and separation from God)? No, also to save us from the POWER of sin, that we would no longer be slaves to sin. What exactly does that mean? I'll get to that here shortly.

Let's now analyze the second part: We can't save ourselves. Exactly. No matter how much we try, no matter how many good deeds we perform, we cannot earn our way into Heaven. Now, I'll tell you something else, even further: Doing good deeds even as a Christian will not "earn you favor" with God. And why? Because he has already shown us his favor - by dying on the cross. It's all about grace - God's free gift. Nothing we did earned us our salvation. He freely gives it to us.

So, how do you muster up enough "willpower" to win the war over temptation? Sorry, you can't. "Willpower" has nothing to do with it, and that's where the "dead to the power of sin" bit I mentioned earlier comes in. You see, when you became a Christian, your old sinful nature (that spirit in you that desired to do wrong) was crucified. It was destroyed. Those aren't my words, they are the Bible's. You became a new creation in Christ. His spirit moved in. The real you - your nature and identity- are now Christ. Your identity is Christ. See how powerful that is? Christ didn't say "Hey, if you'll accept me as your Savior, I'll stand by your side and help you out." Nope, he said "I'll move in, destroy the sinful nature, and give yo umy power for living". But Christians still sin, so there is indeed a struggle going on. But it's not a battle that wages inside you between some living sin nature and the Holy Spirit. If that was the case, you'd never be victorious, because the sin nature would always be there to drag you down. No, the battleground is the mind. It is in the mind that demons whisper to you things like "You want to sin. Your flesh wants to sin. You have a right to be jealous. You have a right to hate. You're only human; what can God expect"? And then we believe the lies, and we are convinced that we have no control over our bodies and we give in to the temptation and let our flesh relive its old habits. Meanwhile, the Holy Spirit within us is crying out "Be Holy. Stand Firm. Let me live through you, and I will win the battle for you!"

So that's the key right there. See how it all fits together? Christ died for us - he fought our battle because we couldn't fight that battle on our own. It doesn't change after we become Christians. God STILL wants to fight our battles for us. Only now, he wants to fight our battles not only for us, but also THROUGH us. Summoning up all our human willpower will only get us temporary victories that leave us feeling like yo-yos. But if we instead say to him "God, I can't do this in my own power, but I know I am a new creation, designed for Holy living, so take my burdens and live through me and let me glorify you", we are taking hold of that victory he already won for us on the cross. There is powerful living in realizing who we are in Christ - that we have no identity outside of Christ.

To sum this up, I would say this: Stop trying so hard in your own power and give it all up to him. Allow him to take control and live through you. He will do wondrous things in you, and you will know that peace that I sought so long and now have.

If you need to talk more in this area, or any other, or need encouragement at any time, please feel free to send me a private message.

God bless you,
Mike
 
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Gerry

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If you married a man, would you leave every few days and go back "home"? Then a few days later decide you wanted to be married again, and return to your husband, only to leave again in a few days??? Would you be a yo-yo wife?

Probably not! Know why? Because it is a matter of CHOICE AND COMMTMENT!

You say you are happy in your faith! What faith? DFoesn't sound like you have much.

According to James 2:20: "But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?"

Works translates to ACTION. If you don't put action to your faith, your faith is useless. It amounts to a new car with no gas. Going no where. No wonder you get out and walk!!!

Tired of being a yo-yo Christian??? Put some ACTION to your faith. Make a COMMITMENT to Christ and tell everyone about it. Put some ACTION to it.

It has NOTHING to do with will power. It has EVERYTHING to do with CHOICE and COMMITMENT!!!

Proverbs 16:3: "Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established."

Commitment is the answer from God's Written Word.

Your Faith is only as strong as your commitment! How strong is your faith? Are you SURE of your salvation?

You refered to your faith as "Lutheran". That is your denominational affiliation. That is NOT your faith. Remember the Lutheran Church does not save you. It is by God's GRACE that you are saved through YOUR Faith, which is, itself, a gift from God.

Make a CHOICE to accept accept Jesus as your personal Saviour, by God's Grace and through Your Faith make a commitment. That ENDS the YO-YO effect!
 
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Slave2SinNoMore

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Gerry, why the harsh tone? Seems to me that Annie came here honestly seeking help. I know how she feels, because I was there once myself. We are supposed to answer each other with love. I have 2 questions to ask;

1)Haven't you been there yourself? Hasn't there ever been when you struggled with remaining faithful?

2)Are you trying to shame her into commitment?
 
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Gerry

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Whos are you to judge my heart? The Lady aked a question! I gave a logical Scripture based answer? I see you are impressed with yourself! If you wish to take me to task, do it with God's Word, not your ideas!
Was Jesus harsh when He said, "Ye must be born-again"? I suppose He was harsh when He ran the money changers out of the Temple with a WHIP?

What did I tell the Lady that was WRONG? Tell me that!
Perhaps you would do better to learn the Scriptures than to take me to task.

What I said, I said in love and in truth. What you have said to me is neither in love nor truth! If you feel you are the only one qualified to give advice do it through the email or open your own forum. If you do not like God's ideas, burn your Bible.

But do not judge me. You have no Scriptural basis for any such action.
 
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Slave2SinNoMore

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Where did I judge your heart in that entire post? I simply pointed out that you were being harsh. That's just pointing out fact. I simply asked you if you were trying to shame her into commitment, not saying you were. Yes, I know you want her to know about being born again, and so do I. But I didn't see anything in her post that led me to believe that she's not born again. Maybe you did. That's fine. But why be so harsh about it? I am referring to the following phrases you used:

"You say you are happy in your faith! What faith? DFoesn't sound like you have much."

and


"Works translates to ACTION. If you don't put action to your faith, your faith is useless. It amounts to a new car with no gas. Going no where. No wonder you get out and walk!!!"

And it wasn't just those examples. The tone of your entire reply was harsh. You may not have intended it to come off that way, but it did. And I would be willing to bet that I am not the only one who would feel that way after reading it.

And to address the following statement you made:

"What did I tell the Lady that was WRONG? Tell me that!
Perhaps you would do better to learn the Scriptures than to take me to task."

I never said that anything you said was wrong. I simply said you were being harsh. That's all I said. Where did I say that what you said was wrong? Nowhere. And please don't tell me i better "learn the scriptures". I didn't say that about you, ebcause I don't know you from Adam. But you felt you would say that to me, even though you don't know anything about my knowledge of the scripture.

And now I'll address the following statement you made to me:

"What I said, I said in love and in truth. What you have said to me is neither in love nor truth! If you feel you are the only one qualified to give advice do it through the email or open your own forum. If you do not like God's ideas, burn your Bible. "

What I have said was indeed in truth. I do not feel I am the only one qualified to give advice. I I never made that claim. But I do indeed know about the sin nature being crucified, as do many others. That is nothing I figured out my own-I can't boast-God revealed it to me. But I am not the only one who knows this. It is a Biblical truth. I sought to help her by sharing what I know. Isn't that part of what we're supposed to do as Christians? Encourage other Christians and share truth? And I never said I don't like God's ideas, did I? If I did, show me where I said that. I didn't even say a word about the Biblical truths you presented. I simply asked you why you werre being harsh toward her. And I still don't know the answer to that.
 
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ZiSunka

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I'm sort of a yo-yo Christian and I don't like it!

Yoyo Christians are double-minded, tyring to hang around with God and please their bad desires, too.

You need to decide whether you are walking with God or going your own way. When you make your decision, your yoyo problem will go away.
 
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