What does the church say about...?

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loveisallyouneed

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I debated asking this here but, so many of you are much more knowledgable than myself, and really, I didn't have the heart to ask my uncle.

My uncle was a Catholic priest up until a few months ago when it was revealed that he had fornicated with a woman, and she was now pregnant. He went to the bishops with this news, and they told him to go on a month long retreat to think about what he would do, stay in the priesthood or leave. Well he ended up leaving after that month.

:(

His girlfriend, I guess that's what she is, is a doctor. I guess, I just can't believe such a smart woman would ever think of doing that with a Catholic priest. I'm not saying he isn't to blame as well, but I just feel like she took advantage of him. He entered the seminary when he was only 11 years old out of pressure from his mother who felt that her youngest son had to become a priest to save her soul. Now, I have no idea why she felt that way, but alas, that is what happened.

He hadn't been ordained too many years ago, I suppose he had his chance then to leave but I sometimes wonder if he stayed out of that pressure from his family? I don't know, I'm not trying to justify what he did but I just can't help but wonder, what does the church say about someone like him and what he did? Will he go to hell?

:(

My uncle is a good man, and when you see him now, he looks like he's about to jump off a roof. He's not the happy person he used to be, now he looks distant, like his mind is somewhere else, and I don't see him as being very in love with this pregnant girlfriend at all. I don't know if there is no affection there because they're ashamed of what the family will think or say, or what, but it seems so loveless.

I just don't know what to think of it all. His parents aren't even speaking to him really, everyone is terribly upset about it. I don't know what to think, my instinct is to blame that woman, I just think it's disgusting I guess.

I'm sorry, I just had to get this out. It's been very emotional. There are other things, but I'm afraid if I told you the things my uncle has said in the past about the priesthood, that you'd all be terribly upset as I was.

:cry:
 

Bastoune

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Do not be discouraged, my sister. In the Lord there is forgivenness and redemption, for ALL who turn to Him.

We cannot let the sins of people be a stumbling block to our growth. Rather let them point out to us our CONTINUAL NEED of a Saviour, for we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory.:prayer:
 
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loveisallyouneed

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Bastoune said:
Do not be discouraged, my sister. In the Lord there is forgivenness and redemption, for ALL who turn to Him.

We cannot let the sins of people be a stumbling block to our growth. Rather let them point out to us our CONTINUAL NEED of a Saviour, for we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory.:prayer:

That is so true, thank you for that reminder. When this all happened I think it really affected my spirituality, even just knowing certain things, I think it planted a seed of doubt in me stronger than ever.

Yet you are so right, that this is just an example of how much we need the Lord. I just hope my uncle will be forgiven, especially that woman he's with. I don't know what the heck was going through her little head when she pursued a Catholic priest.

:mad:
 
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loveisallyouneed

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geocajun said:
Sorry to hear about this :(
I am not sure specifically what your question is though regarding what the Church teaches - can you rephrase it?

I just want to know if he'll be allowed to still be a practicing Catholic. I mean, his poor child, when he's born (the baby is a boy) can he be baptized in the Catholic church? Will the baby have to suffer because of the situation he's born into?
 
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geocajun

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loveisallyouneed said:
I just want to know if he'll be allowed to still be a practicing Catholic.
of course, all sins can be forgiven through sacramental confession.

I mean, his poor child, when he's born (the baby is a boy) can he be baptized in the Catholic church?
certaintly.

Will the baby have to suffer because of the situation he's born into?
I think that depends more on the parents than anything else.
 
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LongingForLight

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Maybe a bit of advice for you:

Continue to love your uncle, and let him know the Church is there for him. He needs you and your love right now. Encourage him to find hope in this, and to find how God uses even sinners to accomplish his will.

And the harder advice: Try and love the woman as well. She needs to see Catholic love right now, so she can see and undrestand the beauty of God. It's not easy, so only try to do what you can manage - if you're going to blow up in her face if you get near her, then avoiding her may be the best way to love her. But if you can talk to her and befriend her, try and give her the gift of your compassion - and the knowledge of God's compassion.
 
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Cat59

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I've had a friend in a similar situation. It's very very hard when this happens. No one is perfect, but sometimes the consequences of something like this can tear people in two.
But with the Lord is forgiveness.
Praying for all involved, including you
Cat
 
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loveisallyouneed

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LongingForLight said:
Maybe a bit of advice for you:

Continue to love your uncle, and let him know the Church is there for him. He needs you and your love right now. Encourage him to find hope in this, and to find how God uses even sinners to accomplish his will.

And the harder advice: Try and love the woman as well. She needs to see Catholic love right now, so she can see and undrestand the beauty of God. It's not easy, so only try to do what you can manage - if you're going to blow up in her face if you get near her, then avoiding her may be the best way to love her. But if you can talk to her and befriend her, try and give her the gift of your compassion - and the knowledge of God's compassion.

Trust me, my side of the family have been the only ones who have hugged them both and welcomed them with no judgement. Granted I'm upset, but I also understand how much forgiveness and compassion they need right now. The rest of the family is pretty much just uttering nasty things under their breath, not so subtlely, especially his parents. Oh gosh, if you could just hear some of the things they've said in front of them both, it's heartbreaking; clearly they're more than upset.

I appreciate your advice, I do love them both ultimately, as my Lord would and does. It's just a very uncomfortable situation, but I imagine for my uncle it's worse. I sometimes fear he may kill himself, he just seems so very depressed.

:cry:
 
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Veritas

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Sorry to hear about this situation, Love. It does kind of gag me to think a woman would want to have sex with a priest. I may have found certain priests attractive, but that's as far as my thoughts will go. I don't know that there is "blame" per se on only one party, though. It took an act of will for your uncle to do as he did. It sounds like a very mixed up, sad state. Prayers are definitely needed all around and a healthy dose of repentance for the sinners. They are not beyond God's grace and for that we pray. I guess to be honest, I think it would best for the child to be relenquished to adoption and for your uncle and this woman to part company. This way, the child is raise in a loving 2 parent home without the difficulty of explaining later on what happened. Just my opinion.

God be with you and your family as you deal with this. I'll be praying.:pray:
 
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Cat59

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People who think about suicide do it sometimes because they believe their situation is hopeless. So if by your love and concern, you can help him see that there is hope for him it will help prevent this happening. He may need professional help too.
 
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loveisallyouneed

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Cat59 said:
People who think about suicide do it sometimes because they believe their situation is hopeless. So if by your love and concern, you can help him see that there is hope for him it will help prevent this happening. He may need professional help too.

You're right. I don't think counseling for both of them would be a bad thing. I don't know what kind of doctor she is, but I hope she encourages him to get some help hopefully. I don't know, she seems very defiant toward his family.
 
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I really dont understand why people find it so horrific when the human side of the man is revealed in his ability to love with the same intensity as any other man among you.

Of course what he did went agaisnt his vows. Of course he sinned. Of course it was wrong for a woman to put herself in a position where such a thing could happen to someone she was supposed to care about in the first place.

But we all make mistakes and all have sinned. A priest is no different than any other man with regard to his emotions and feelings, and ability to feel love and attraction. Do you think that when a man becomes a priest he loses all those functions and feelings? Of course not!

falling in love with someone you are attracted to is more than just natural, it is the way God created us. So do not condemn it as though it is abhorrid. Condemn the sin for what it is- a betrayal of devotion,,,not an act of corruption, for if it is corrupt than all of us who have ever fallen in love are corrupt.

I commend all priests who attempt the life of celibacy, but as Scripture tells us, not all men are capable of it. So why should we judge a man who has at least tried and failed.

His failing isnt because he is a horrible sinner in as much as he was just not able to be a celbate priest. So he has done the right thing and moved on. To continue in the rpiesthood and act behind the backs of everyone would have been a greater sin.

Loveisall,,,I think that you should support your uncles decision and never again feel that he did something that he should not be forgiven for,,,,his sin was in being an ordinary man,,,,and priests are called to a much more extraordianry place,IF they can deal with it..
 
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