• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

*~UnDiGnIfIeD~*

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ehhh...I've been doin it for a little while, and I just got caught 4 days ago. It was so scary. My school found out so they called my parents. My parents were so disappointed and angry. I was freaked out! But now...I'm just numb I guess. So much is going on. I got put in with a counselor because its the schools duty to make sure "it" is being taken care of...but! I'm not really doing it anymore even though I still think about it, it forced me to stop. It's not fun on both sides...but i can sympathize
 
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Deamiter

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Talking to a therapist has been the most wonderful thing in my entire life. However, the first one didn't impress me. Nor did the second or the third... I went through 6 therapists at 3 different locations (over 2 years) before I found the guy I talk to now, and they were all incredibly bad (for me at least). The guy I see now doesn't **** around, and he trusts me as much as he demands that I trust him. There ARE many good therapists (I have since met two, but I don't have any reason to switch) but its pretty unlikely that the ones you have at highschool are one of them.

Anyway, my best advice is to take small steps that are totally unrelated to SI. Make your life a bit better - connect with a new friend - read a bit of the Bible every day - go shopping with your friends once a week - waste time in a bubble bath...

As an addiction (not just a condition or a habit) it is VERY hard to attack SI directly, and almost impossible to do it alone. You need friends to talk to about it - and you need to build up habits that release your tension like a bubble bath, or a bike ride... the actual thing depends on your personality (I like to go play on my pennywhistles, but I don't imagine you HAVE a pennywhistle, much less enjoy playing one). Spending more time with friends - even with friends who you don't talk about SI with, and ESPECIALLY when you feel empty and unmotivated WILL help you. Having deep discussions about depression and SI are necessary in a close friend, but force yourself to do stuff that isn't related to depression - BECAUSE you feel empty and unmotivated - not because you want to. If you can't imagine what normal is - do things you see on TV, or things you imagine you WOULD enojoy if you weren't depressed.

Worshiping God is especially great for lifting your spirits. I've been obligated to go to church sometimes (through agreements or events that forced me to go) where I absolutely wanted NOTHING to do with God. Somehow FORCING your body to worship brings your mind (and your depression) along with it. Its a Biblical thing too - the Bible says worship with all you have, and if all you've got is your voice and your body (when you can't bear to think) then God will take that and actually HEAL you through worship! This isn't coming from a spiritual charismatic Christian either - I go to a conservative Baptist university, but every Sunday night we have a contemporary worship service - and on the weeks I force myself to go (as I always have TONS of homework on Sunday night) I NEVER regret it (though I always THINK I will when I'm going).

Summary - don't try to fight your SI. I mean, don't say, "it doesn't matter so I might as well..." but don't set goals in your happy times that you won't be able to follow through on when you're really depressed. Promise yourself a bubble bath the next time you REALLY want to hurt yourself, and if you STILL have to hurt yourself, you haven't lost anything. It'll just make your life a bit better, and it will be entirely your doing. Enough of those things and I know from experience that you will WANT to hurt yourself less, and the temptation will be more bearable.
 
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Deamiter

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As for understanding you, I did get depressed after I was a couple years older than you are now, and I AM a boy, so I'm sure its different on many levels. But I know what its like to cry all night trying to keep from hurting myself - and to finally fail at 4:00 in the morning. I know what its like to run to your friends who DO help in the moment, but don't begin to solve my problems. The next time I couldn't get a hold of them (or couldn't call because it was too late) I had nothing personal I could fall back on, so I just added more scars to my poor body. I know what its like to be so bad you just go ahead and try to kill yourself.

I'm a recovering SIer (borderline slipped up last week - but no blood) and I KNOW how impossible it seems to do anything. I've spent weeks hiding under my bed so my roomate wouldn't notice that I was still home. This is just what helped me, and its what many of my friends (in one form or another) used to get out of really serious SI.
 
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