insight into discontentedness

The whole taking "side" of contentedness and discontentedness of singleness (which is sort of silly because anyone can vary between the two and even feel both at the same time), got me thinking about why I feel the way I do and what does God really have to say about it. I feel the way I do about singlness because of this: I was really content in being single and then God sent someone wonderful into my life. I didn't want to go out with him, didn't want to get involved, but he continued to be in my life and after much praying God just sort of worked things out in our relationship and friendship and we begin dating. And it was great. It wasn't perfect- I made mistakes and he made mistakes but God blessed it. But strangely it ended- and I don't know why or understand why it ended but it did. That being said, it changed my view on singleness, I now think that being part of a couple and eventually marriage is one of life's most positive and enriching experiences (with the right person of course). I experienced something intensely positive in my life with an amazing and Godly man, now it is gone and it's a huge loss in my life. It makes me sad and i'm still healing and going through the grieving process. God has used this to teach me many things, but I still have trouble understanding why it happened or why God allowed it to happen when I was fine being single before. God's word tells me that He has a pupose for all things in our lives, so I hope that that purpose will be revealed to me. So yes, I am discontent with being single, yet at the same time I trust God to have me right where He wants me at exactly the right time. It all comes down to : Do I trust that God is big enough to handle my life, even though my circumstances are telling me different? Do I let my life be ruled by His word, or by my emotions? It's very hard. Discontentedness does not mean that you are wasting your life away, having a pity party at every turn. If anything it's made me want to pour out my life into others to lessen the pain. I think if we have experienced something positive in the relationship area and then lost it, then we have to go through greiving to be made whole again. To not acknowledge greif and then just jump into the next relationship, bottles up a whole lot of issues that are going to come out latter on is less positive ways.

"i will never forget this awful time, as i grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day" Lamentations 3:19-23

I hope my words have blessed and encourgaged ya'll. This is also something I needed to type out to remind myself thatGod's got it all in control and that even though i'm hurt and unhappy- God still has plans for my life and can still give me hope.

Yes, i know it's up to God, that was my point, lol

I do think there's lots of misconseptions about singleness and contentedness. Like, i've heard all my life "Oh when you are finally content in being single and yourself, God will bring that right person in your life and it'll be better than anything, blah blah blah" Well, I was content, and God brought an amazing person in my life and I honestly believed he was the right one and everything seemed to be being blessed by God. And then it's like Go d brought me to a point of feeling good about marriage and the future possibility of that and He allowed my relationship with this man to be stopped. For whatever reason that God had. But , my point is that there is no magic little formula for finding a mate, or for being content. We cannot manipulate God with our state of emotions. God will do in our lifes what He wants, when He wants to do it, regardless of what we are feeling. Of course He knows when we are ready for something or not. Sometimes we can be content and He brings that person into our life, sometimes we aren't and He still does. Sometimes He allows things in our lives that have nothing at all to do with us; it may have been for the other person; or possibly to bring us to a point of brokenness and utter dependence on Him. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. The name of the Lord be praised.