My GF's emotions...

Below is a copy of a post I had made for the teen forum with verses on anger. I hope it can be a blessing to you. Your girlfriend needs to go through counseling to get the issues worked out and find out where they are coming from. We all have problems with anger at times but someone who constantly has a problem with it makes life miserable not only for themselves but everyone around them. Praying for your situation.

Got a problem with......Anger?

This is something that every person deals with at some time or another in their lives. As Christians we need to look at what the Bible says about anger.

Proverbs 22:24 "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered."

[font=Arial, Helvetica]A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

[font=Arial, Helvetica]Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6[/font]
Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.

Col 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret it leads only to the evil (Ps. 37:8).
Of wise man fears for the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hot headed and reckless.

A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Pr 14:16-17).

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Pr. 29:11).

When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).

It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).

All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:6).

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Patience my friend patience. Woman can have terrible mood swings, nobody is perfect , you'll never know when these moods come or go. Just be loving and patient ,or alternativly you could just walk away and go play tennis or something away from the lady and be somewhere where she is not until her psycho flipping episode is over.

True girls AND guys goes through mood swings sometimes but that is NOT a reason to not control your anger.

There may be underlying issues in her life. Or, she may just be a shallow person whose faith does not relate to her daily life in a significant way. Be wise and cautious.

John
NZ

only GOd and her can deal with emotional issues. Always seek God when making decisions of the heart.

In the marriage forum there is a thread by a guy named Redguard who has been married for years to a woman who gets angry. You might want to check it out.

Jody7818 said:

At times, she can be very nice. But when she becomes emotional, she becomes very mean. ...blame me or overexaggerates ..... becoming angry ....I just don't know how to deal with this. I want to be with her, and I really love her. But my heart grows cold ....Is there any scripture that I can show her that may help her with her problem, and how I can deal with situations that I have described above?

Click to expand...

Hi Jody
Just read your salvation testimony - sounds very much like mine. And so does some of the problem you have. (for more specifics see my website mentioned on my profile, especially "Personal Testimony" and "Marital Madness")

I really feel for you. My boyfriend (who is now my husband of 40 years) was very kind and loving until we were married. Then he immediately turned into a mean, selfish, control freak, blaming his sins on others. And I reacted by becoming compliant. (I had come from a dysfunctional home, and had learned early on to be a people pleaser, hoping to cause people to love and accept me. I had no idea what boundaries were, and I certainly never thought that I had any rights as a person.) My heart became cold toward him, and I lost any love I had.

Friend - be very, very careful. First, God tells us to avoid an angry person. Proverbs 22:24 - "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered,..." That's the main answer and that is sufficient - just obey God and AVOID. No matter how we might feel about the person. A marriage to a person like that can lead to years of deep misery. It doesn't matter what a person's emotions are, it is still their choice to be mean. You can't change her - only God can do that. You can only change yourself.

I going into my personal story in more detail to show what could happen if you continue in this relationship. Since I married such a person, I didn't know the Bible, and therefore couldn't follow a verse I knew nothing about:
to change myself:
*I made the decision to trust Christ as my sinbearer without any good works of my own, trusting in Him to get me to Heaven one day.
*I saw a Christian counselor and attended Christian 12 Step recovery groups (such as Overcomers), in order to learn why I was such a people pleaser, and to learn how to have boundaries in my life. I would not divorce willingly because I knew that was not God's will. I considered separation until he would get a large amount of Christian counseling himself. (Made a mistake there - returned much too soon).
*I came to realize that God was all I needed - no matter how I was treated, God could take up all the empty spaces and it was possible to be content. *And I took responsibility for my part of being in an unhappy marriage (I chose him, I didn't date him long enough to see how he performed under pressure, I didn't take enough note of his relationship with his parents, I didn't divorce him, etc.)

Then God began to change him - but that whole process took 32 years and a lot of misery and humiliation to get to that point. Countless times I wished I had never met him. (Not to say I'm any better than he was - I just commited my sins on the inside, where no one could see them). In the Recovery groups, I learned many people there had made the same mistakes over and over in the past (whether in marriage or dating) - always choosing the same sort of unhealthy person, until God changed the people in recovery emotionally.

I am not trying to tell you what to do, except to be extremely careful. I'll be praying for you and for her, friend. I know it would be heart-wrenching to give her up, but there are many godly women out there, and being around them will help you grow spiritually and not suffer as you are now doing. I am so sorry you are suffering - here is what I learned in my pain: (both NIV)
2 Cor 1:9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Aloha in Christ, friend

She may very well be a little insecure. Sometimes when women/girls are insecure, their emotions fly all over the place. She is probably dealing with issues inside her, and it is causing her anger at other things to come out at you, because you are really close to her. People tend to take their anger out on the people they love. I want to encourage you to pray for her. God is the only one who can speak to her heart, and deal with the issues inside of her.

I will be praying for you.

God Bless.