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Endless misery
- Thread starter angelgabriel
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The very first step is to start with forgiveness and by you. The day when you repented from your sin God forgive ALL your sin, not only from the past but the future as well. Between you and God there is no condemnation anymore. Ask yourself, who is condemning you. You will find out that it is you, yourself and start working on that. God forgave to never think about our sins anymore, who are you then to condemn yourself. Make peace with yourself and see yourself through Gods eyes. Second forgive anyone who you feel did you wrong like this ex-girlfriend. If you do not forgive God cannot forgive you. Spend time in prayer and ask God to show you exactly what you have to pray for. Forgive your wife for hurt that she may have caused you, forgive her for letting your marriage fall apart and everything that comes to your mind while praying. Some people also need to forgive God. Its a normal flesh reaction to blame God for our mistakes and disappointments in life. Forgive yourself but also do bear in mind that God forgive all our sins but we pay the consequences of our wrong doings. I see that you already started to walk with God again but please dont do this because you want your wife back but do it because you love God.
Forgiveness is a favor you do for yourself because forgiveness is the very first step to healing. You cannot get inner healing while you still blame yourself for all that had happened. You where wrong, you did repented, God removed your sin as far as the east is from the west, and now its time for you to move on.
Father God, I pray that You will take him through this path of forgiveness. Help him to forgive himself, help him to cope with the consequences of his own wrong doings.
Give him the strength to walk in your love and forgiveness.
Give him the power to overcome all accusation that comes to him.
Give him the courage to move forward daily.
Father I ask that you will release your healing power upon this man, heal his soul for this pain he cannot bear any longer.
Father I ask that you saturate his wife and children in your awesome love and peace.
Father God, if its possible please start with a great restoration plan in this marriage. I ask all above in the mighty name of Jesus Christ our Savior. - Amen
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altya, you've got the story all wrong.
My ex-wife didn't do anything to me. I was the one who called for a seperation a year and a half ago and I'm the one that didn't want to get back together with her. I pushed for the divorce because I didn't think I loved her. One year later, I grew a conscience and realized how much I love her. I love her and my children. I just want my family back and I want to do things right this time. Is that too much to ask for?
I do thank you for your advice regarding forgiving myself. This is something that I'm having difficulty with. Regret is something that destroys me each day.
Thanks for responding. God bless you always!
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Update for those of you who have taken the time to be there for me:
The last week has been a roller coaster. One second I'm ok the next I'm suffering from an unbearable misery. I'm trying to keep myself busy so I won't be down all the time.
I'm going to the gym, following my dreams, looking for a new job, spending time with my children, and most importantly talking to the lord and visiting him at church.
I've also decided to not call my ex-wife anymore. She and I had a conversation a few nights ago where she was very cruel and she basically made it clear that she's not ready to forgive me yet. Regardless, I told her that I would continue to love her and be there for her if she needed me. I also told her that despite her hurtful words I'm going to forever continue to treat her with respect and kindness.
In the meantime, I'm going to get her a great Mother's Day present and an even better birthday present (her birthday's in 2 weeks). I'm not going to give these gifts to her in person though. I'm going to have someone drop them off for me.
Every time I see her, a pain runs through my whole body. I need to grow strong and give her time. I know she has a huge heart. That is the reason I married her in the first place. She's a very special person who I've hurt. I've no doubt that in time she will befriend me again. But for now, I'll suffer for what may seem like a million years.
Thanks for listening everyone. I love you all. God Bless.
angelgabriel
The last week has been a roller coaster. One second I'm ok the next I'm suffering from an unbearable misery. I'm trying to keep myself busy so I won't be down all the time.
I'm going to the gym, following my dreams, looking for a new job, spending time with my children, and most importantly talking to the lord and visiting him at church.
I've also decided to not call my ex-wife anymore. She and I had a conversation a few nights ago where she was very cruel and she basically made it clear that she's not ready to forgive me yet. Regardless, I told her that I would continue to love her and be there for her if she needed me. I also told her that despite her hurtful words I'm going to forever continue to treat her with respect and kindness.
In the meantime, I'm going to get her a great Mother's Day present and an even better birthday present (her birthday's in 2 weeks). I'm not going to give these gifts to her in person though. I'm going to have someone drop them off for me.
Every time I see her, a pain runs through my whole body. I need to grow strong and give her time. I know she has a huge heart. That is the reason I married her in the first place. She's a very special person who I've hurt. I've no doubt that in time she will befriend me again. But for now, I'll suffer for what may seem like a million years.
Thanks for listening everyone. I love you all. God Bless.
angelgabriel
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Hi angelgabriel,
yes unfortunately you are right my friend...these days will seem like an eternity. But, you are silently gaining strength everyday, even though it does not feel that way. We are all praying both for and with you ALWAYS. Don't give up on her, your heart tells you not to, and keep praying (I know you are) it will do wonders for your soul. I love you and I am right there beside you, walking with you. Cry, vent, complain, let it all out...I am following this experience you are going through, to the end...it will be a beautiful outcome. I love you and I am here for you
your friend
Amie
yes unfortunately you are right my friend...these days will seem like an eternity. But, you are silently gaining strength everyday, even though it does not feel that way. We are all praying both for and with you ALWAYS. Don't give up on her, your heart tells you not to, and keep praying (I know you are) it will do wonders for your soul. I love you and I am right there beside you, walking with you. Cry, vent, complain, let it all out...I am following this experience you are going through, to the end...it will be a beautiful outcome. I love you and I am here for you
your friend
Amie
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Amen! I have gone through very dark times, also.
The greatest thing I could do in my darkest hours was to Praise God. I would awaken in the middle of the night, literally wailing from pain. And when the pain would become so great, I would start singing Hallelujah over and over through the pain an praying for His peace all at the same time. That not only got me through, it may well have saved my life. God Bless you my brother.
praise God and pray, pray, and pray.
The greatest thing I could do in my darkest hours was to Praise God. I would awaken in the middle of the night, literally wailing from pain. And when the pain would become so great, I would start singing Hallelujah over and over through the pain an praying for His peace all at the same time. That not only got me through, it may well have saved my life. God Bless you my brother.
praise God and pray, pray, and pray.
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Hi angelgabriel,
we are with you always, we will not let you walk through the anguish alone...love and prayers and everything in between!
your friend
Amie
we are with you always, we will not let you walk through the anguish alone...love and prayers and everything in between!
your friend
Amie
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You are getting some great advice from everyone here. Amie is right on target IMHO. I would like to add Be the best father to your kids that you can. Let your wife see the love you are capable of giving them.
You are a new person IN Christ. Let her see that personified in love for your kids. Also let her know you will always be there for her whenever she is ready. It will take time for her to get over the pain you caused her by rejecting her and see that.
You have the time because of your kids. Helping her raise them is the most important thing you need to do. It is more important than school, career, anything.
God bless you and I will pray as well.
You are a new person IN Christ. Let her see that personified in love for your kids. Also let her know you will always be there for her whenever she is ready. It will take time for her to get over the pain you caused her by rejecting her and see that.
You have the time because of your kids. Helping her raise them is the most important thing you need to do. It is more important than school, career, anything.
God bless you and I will pray as well.
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On Saturday I thought I was going to die. Sunday and Monday were a lot better. I kept busy to suppress the pain. This morning my cancer stricken aunt finally passed away. I feel so horrible. So many things are affecting me right now. Please pray for me. Bless you all.
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Hi angelgabriel,
I could not help but notice you are the "most blessed member" right now
I am so sorry about the loss of your aunt. you are going to feel that loss stronger due to the vulnerability of your heart right now. I want you to know that you have been in my prayers every morning and everynight! I am still right here for you, praying. I wish I could take some of the burden on my friend, but I can not...I am sorry. You have all of my prayers and both of my shoulders to cry on! much love and many blessings to you.
You will get through this, it will take time, but I promise you that you will not feel this miserable forever! Keep me posted on any new developments and once again, I am deeply sorry for you and your family regarding the death of your aunt...she is free now
Amie
I could not help but notice you are the "most blessed member" right now
I am so sorry about the loss of your aunt. you are going to feel that loss stronger due to the vulnerability of your heart right now. I want you to know that you have been in my prayers every morning and everynight! I am still right here for you, praying. I wish I could take some of the burden on my friend, but I can not...I am sorry. You have all of my prayers and both of my shoulders to cry on! much love and many blessings to you.
You will get through this, it will take time, but I promise you that you will not feel this miserable forever! Keep me posted on any new developments and once again, I am deeply sorry for you and your family regarding the death of your aunt...she is free now
Amie
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still praying for you my friend... I thought about you today. I hope things are going as well as they can be right now...Love and blessings to you
Amie
I thought about you today. I hope things are going as well as they can be right now...Love and blessings to you Amie
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ChristianPilot
If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!
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As a teenager and someone who definately isn't experienced with relationships, all the advice I can give you is to JUST KEEP PRAYING. Things will happen and it will always be for the better in the end. I'll pray for you, your ex-wife, and your children.
Just remember that God's will is perfect.
Just remember that God's will is perfect.
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angelgabriel, I will keep you in my prayers. My suggestions to you would be to just trust in Gods power, He can renew all things. I think your ex wife most likey is willing to forgive you, and forgivness isn't the reason she wont let you back in her life. I think she is simply afraid that she will be hurt once again if she does. Just seek a relationship with God and him only, take care of your children, be there when they need you, and also see to any needs your ex wife might have. God can open the doors that will bring your family back together. It will take some time though, you are now suffering the pain she went through. Just show her the new heart God created in you, by your actions but not by words, and trust in him to guide your steps.
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Update:
I was doing ok for two weeks. I avoided my ex-wife as much as I could. I had to do this because I'd get depressed and sad every time I'd see her.
Now the pain has resurfaced and It hurts when I see my kids as well. I feel like I'm not going to make it. I'm considering not seeing anyone anymore including them because it hurts too much right now. I am going to try to block out all the pain. Is this the right way to do it? I'm confused and hurting!!!! I hate thinking about suicide but those thoughts come and go. I'm not selfish so I'd never do that to my kids. But it's damn tough(crying)!!!!!!!
Pray for me my fellow Christians. I'm going into depression mode once again.
I was doing ok for two weeks. I avoided my ex-wife as much as I could. I had to do this because I'd get depressed and sad every time I'd see her.
Now the pain has resurfaced and It hurts when I see my kids as well. I feel like I'm not going to make it. I'm considering not seeing anyone anymore including them because it hurts too much right now. I am going to try to block out all the pain. Is this the right way to do it? I'm confused and hurting!!!! I hate thinking about suicide but those thoughts come and go. I'm not selfish so I'd never do that to my kids. But it's damn tough(crying)!!!!!!!
Pray for me my fellow Christians. I'm going into depression mode once again.
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Hi angelgabriel,
Right now you are in a "down" of the "ups and downs" of the situation. First of all, when you need to CALL ME! second suicide is NOT an option here. That is a permamnent solution to a temporary problem. I know it is viewed as an "easy out" when one is depressed. It is not your fault to have such thoughts, they are all part of the intense emotional pain you are going through. It is called "rapid cycling" in psychology and I will help you through it. I once posted that there will be days, possibly weeks when the pain is so severe! Just remember, it is when we are up against a wall with no where to turn and feeling our worst and we feel so alone and we feel so abandoned and we feel like giving up, well it is then when the tide will turn. when you are feeling your worst, there is no place to go but up. I am right here for you to talk you through the negative thoughts. Your sons need you. I know it is painful to see them right now, but they need their daddy. It is not wise to avoid seeing them, they are babies and they need you, they will not understand, but it is acceptable to limit contact right now as you sort through your feelings. I know that you are praying and I know that you think it is not working, but it is my friend and the more you pray, the better off you will be. I do acknowlege that you should limit contact with your ex as well right now for your own emotional well being and mental health. Rely on us to help you, we will carry you. You are NEVER alone. I love you and I will help you through this. I am ALWAYS here for you and I will counsel you through your heart break. It sucks, it is not fair and I know you cry often. It is good to cry, talk, vent, get it out...that is all you can do right now. I am praying for and with you. cry on my shoulder, that is why I was born. To help you through this.
your friend
Amie
Right now you are in a "down" of the "ups and downs" of the situation. First of all, when you need to CALL ME! second suicide is NOT an option here. That is a permamnent solution to a temporary problem. I know it is viewed as an "easy out" when one is depressed. It is not your fault to have such thoughts, they are all part of the intense emotional pain you are going through. It is called "rapid cycling" in psychology and I will help you through it. I once posted that there will be days, possibly weeks when the pain is so severe! Just remember, it is when we are up against a wall with no where to turn and feeling our worst and we feel so alone and we feel so abandoned and we feel like giving up, well it is then when the tide will turn. when you are feeling your worst, there is no place to go but up. I am right here for you to talk you through the negative thoughts. Your sons need you. I know it is painful to see them right now, but they need their daddy. It is not wise to avoid seeing them, they are babies and they need you, they will not understand, but it is acceptable to limit contact right now as you sort through your feelings. I know that you are praying and I know that you think it is not working, but it is my friend and the more you pray, the better off you will be. I do acknowlege that you should limit contact with your ex as well right now for your own emotional well being and mental health. Rely on us to help you, we will carry you. You are NEVER alone. I love you and I will help you through this. I am ALWAYS here for you and I will counsel you through your heart break. It sucks, it is not fair and I know you cry often. It is good to cry, talk, vent, get it out...that is all you can do right now. I am praying for and with you. cry on my shoulder, that is why I was born. To help you through this.
your friend
Amie
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Know what? I really feel for you Gabriel, but you need to go to your church, do you attend church? and ask for help.
Get some Christian men in your life for guidance. Go see a Christian Counselor or psychologist. It is time to move on. I am continuing to pray for you.
God Bless you.
Get some Christian men in your life for guidance. Go see a Christian Counselor or psychologist. It is time to move on. I am continuing to pray for you.
God Bless you.
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I'm praying for you, keep going forward. Please don't quit seeing everyone, that will only add more pain. Trust in The Lord. I pray everything works out for you. God Bless
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angelgabriel, I'm so sorry to hear you're in such pain once again. I know how it must hurt when you think about the time you don't get to spend with your children. I would like to offer you a little advice about something that might help ease that pain just a little. It wont be easy but I think it might help. Istead of thinking about the time you can't spend with your children. Be thankful for every minute that you do get to spend with them. Make every minute you spend with them count. When you send them back to their Mother, instead of thinking how much you miss them, start making plans for the next time they visit, Think about ways you can make that time extra special, and show them how much you truely love them. I know this all sounds hard to do at the moment, but I think it might ease some of your pain. I pray that your ex-wife will see the changes in your life, and find it in her heart to forgive you.
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