Still struggling

hey jun_canada? you have MSN messenger right? sign on there . . . and check your private messages on here, I just sent you one. i hope it worked.


thanks

hey, i know i said I would go ahead and post more on here. I'm gonna do that when I wake up tomorrow. It's 1:14 in the morning now, and I can't think too clearly, lol.

Deamiter knows from experience that if you feel uncertain, you will have to give up either the girl or the god later on. Whether for Christian reasons, or any others - you really need to make the decision before you go out with her, or you will hurt her worse than you expect. I chose my girl over God, and ended up in a very screwed up form of what they called Wicca (it bears little resemblance to any true form of ANY paganism). After 5 years, I am fully ready to call myself a born again Christian again, but I never had to give up those friends I made in my journey away from Christ. You must make a faith decision about who to let into your inner circle (closest friends and girlfriends) but non-Christian friends are not evil - nor will they pull you down as far as I unless you seek to rebuke God and give up your connections to the true Messiah.

However, I take serious offence to anyone who calls any but the blackest religions satanic. Deceived, perhaps, but what CHRISTIAN isn't? I honestly believe that Christianity is the one true religion - the real truth - but in saying that all other religions are satanic is simply harmful to God's kingdom. I honestly believe that it is true to the extent that other religions are decieved, but satanic means something else in our culture. It means 100% evil and something that can (and should) be irradicated in any way possible. This was not Jesus' way (much to the Jewish leaders' dismay) and it should not be our way. Muslims are people, HUMANS, and they are no more evil than any other. By demonizing their religion, we make them sub-humans, something that we've done in every war since WWI.

Perhaps you don't think like this, and I wouldn't accuse you of it. But that's how it comes off in our culture - especially with the US's war in the Middle East. Shouldn't we treat muslims with love - in private as well as to their faces? I have seen first hand a real satanic religion when I chose the girl over my God, and I know, very personally, that Islam is less decieved than many Christian groups who put evangelism or theology before LOVE - the very essance of our God! Stop preaching hate for unbelievers, but perhaps show love - as Jesus to the samaritan woman. Her whole non-Jewish, non-Christian village turned to the true God simply because he bent down to talk to a woman of a forbidden heritage. Perhaps we can do the same?

Errm...perhaps wording in this thread could have been a bit better. Anything offensive towards those of another religion isn't really beneficial when ministering to them. In all respects, if Jun_Canada were to witness to this girl in the fashion that you described...all fire and brimstone preaching as it was--the outcome of the situation would most likely not be beneficial in winning her to Christ. So really, I agree with Deamiter in that aspect.

she sounds like a gem. if you continue as you are you'll find it increasingly difficult to not want to go out with her. your situation will be tougher if she lives close in the RW.

yes, I really agree with deamiter and sr. scholls on what they said about Islam. I was thinking the same thing. Yes, I believe their religion is false and deceived (by Satan, yes possibly, although he tries to deceive EVERYONE out there) but as far as saying that Islam is Satanic (in the sense that this girl would be practicing black magic and casting spells on you or something) is a little bit far-fetched.
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I have found that most Muslims are VERY devoted their idea of God and very devoted to wanting to do the right thing in their lives. They are simply trapped in a false system of rules, and have yet to really know God through freedom and salvation in Jesus Christ. I guess it can be somewhat similar to Judaism in this way. Islam tries to acheive salvation through human rules and regulations. It doesn't view God as a loving Father and there is no assurance of salvation. It's just our job to show them what the true freedom of God is. I understand that many Muslims are very kind and just very wonderful people to be around. They view their beliefs as very important to their lives (something many of us Christians sometimes need to do more of) and many Muslims are very hungry for the true relationship with God that only Jesus Christ can provide. Many of their hearts are very open to the message of Christ. The fields are ripe for the harvest (John 4:35)


With that said, I would very, very, very careful. I can't see any benefit coming from you going out with her (i know you don't want to go out with her). I'm just saying, examine yourself, and if you find that you are starting to like her too much, stop yourself. Just be real careful.

But I would definitely keep her as a friend, as this could be an opportunity to share Christ with her. Be sure you really understand exactly what you as a Christian believe, and that you understand exactly why it is the truth. I really like Christian apologetics books for that. I can recommend some if you want. Otherwise, if you are kind of unsure or not totally committed in your faith, it might be easy to get your beliefs kind of mixed up or diluted. *1 Peter 3:15*

I'm not saying you would turn on Christ for her or that you aren't committed. . . I DON'T believe you would turn on Christ and I think you ARE committed to Him. I'm just being careful myself and saying everything because I don't really know you all that well. Some people out there might distance themselves from Christ in a situation like this, so you just gotta tread carefully.

One Bible verse especially comes to mind, Galatians 6:1 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." That doesn't exactly fit this situation, but do you get the idea? The best advice I know of to deal with this is Bible study and mostly pray your butt off for guidance, wisdom, and control.

I know from personal experience how strong feelings for a girl can build and build and keep me from doing rational things, so again, plant your feet firmly in the truth of Christ and pray for strength to stay there.

Yes, I would recommend trying to go out and find some Christian girls and more importantly just Christian friends in general. There are plenty of nice, devoted Christian girls out there, and having a supportive group of Christian friends to go to and depend on is important in the lives of all Christians anyway.

***If you need help with trying to find a Christian group, just say something, and I'm sure someone here will be able to think of something helpful.


One thing I can think of that would probably be really valuable if you are going to witness to her is to find some books about Muslims written by Christians. There are plenty of good books like this out there - in fact, I'll go look it up and post back here again when I find something.


Well, those are my thoughts so far. As I said, I'm not a big expert on anything, but as someone who knows how difficult and weird these girl situations can get, and as a Christian who has a God-instilled love for Muslims placed in his heart - I thought I might be able to give some helpful advice. Just keeping praying to God for what HE wants you to do.

Keep us updated on what happens, if you don't mind. Thanks.

God Bless You.

Jun_Canada said:

All my "guy" friends are nothing better because they rnt christians. Heh if they were christians, I would talk to them but they rnt. I dont care whether my friends are guys or girls. This years especially hard cause its my extra year of high school got stuck taking more courses so not many ppl i know. My school is practically all brown ppl lol like 70 % of them r brown so that isnt helping either. and this "girl" doesnt go to my school....just talk to her online so

I go to church but I dont see a lot of ppl there.....its just a "hi, bye" every Sunday.....and school is really tough right now too Almost over though....just another 6 month lol

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What do you mean by 'brown' its a bit vague-hispanic,asian,african origin..what?and why is it 'not helping'?

Jun_Canada said:

So ive been struggling with this situation
Theres this girl I sorta like. I really dont want to like her but I guess its just there. Shes a sweet kind caring honest trust worthy girl and just easy to get along with. But its just that shes not christian. Shes muslum. Shes like I guess my only "true" friend I have right now cause I cant really trust any1 else with whatever I say because of gossip and all that stuff they take seriously. But it really sucks cause shes a great girl but i really dont wanna be attracted to her because she is muslum. B4 I just thought she was "cute" but now when I think about it, it just feels like shes a great girl all around like I mentioned above.
Any suggestions?
Thank you
God Bless

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It's a common problem-a lot of people struggle with it. And you're right for being concerned. I would certainly pray about it.

The thing about dating a nonChristian is that things always look good now, but after marriage things can change. And as a Christian, whatever you end up with is forever. If you end up with someone who is pulling you away from Christ, you're stuck with it for life. And even if one of you left the relationship, that's it. There's no room for remarriage. That means being alone for the rest of your days, and if you have no children, that's the end of your bloodline.

As it stands, you can meet other people at church; you can take your time and choose someone suitable. You can go out with any Christian you wish. And you have the rest of your life to spend with that person.

I bet the girl you know is very sweet. You probably like her a lot, But if she isn't a Christian that will pervade every area of her thinking. You'll have to make compromises with God to keep your relationship with her. I'd do what Joseph did in the Bible-flee temptation.

How long have you known her?

Okay; I see what you're saying. You don't want to go out with her because of your loyalty to Christ, but you still have those feelings. If you did become friends with her, nothing but friends, do you know how you would respond if she fell in love with you? As it stands, you don't have to face this problem, so friendship may seem viable. But that friendship would lead to emotional attachments, and women tend to take these things more seriosuly than men. If she broke down in front of you, would you be able to say no to dating her?

Wow-after 5 or 6 years, those feelings might be hard to shake.

so, here's some actual advice (not just personal experience). It sounds like you can't trust the Christians in your age group (or can't find Christians in your age group that you DO trust). I'd suggest that you go to a few different churches, and find a pastor you can talk to. It's a BIG part of their job as a pastor to talk to people who are questioning or having temtations etc... That's what they do. So find somebody who believes as you do, and meet with him every week or so.

It's the most difficult thing I ever did - and ultimately, the one that has kept me saved in the long run. We often underplay the role our elders can play, as our society values youth and our bodies over wisdom, but you CAN find yourself a mentor if you are truly devoted to your beliefs.

That makes sense, pastors are ALWAYS really busy. Go to him and ask if he will counsel you as a Christian - and tell him that you are looking for somebody to be a mentor for you and to guide your walk as a Christian. He will either schedule appointments with you, or he will be able to suggest strong Christians who he believes will be able to help you.

The main point is that you need an appointment. Counseling is a big part of being a pastor, but if you just go to talk to him, he might not understand that you're asking for consistant help in your overall walk with Christ.