She's out there. God wil bring her to you, just wait.

Great I am going to be alone forever? Hold up. YOu know what the Lord says that he will give us the desires of our hearts and you know what I desire a wife in my life and you know what because of his promise one day I will have her. Why because the Lord said he would give me the desires of my heart.

Yes I do trust the Lord but I don't want to be alone. I have been alone for far too long now. why do you think I am acting the way that I am? No woman has ever showed interest in me. I have tried a couple of times but you know what happened to me I got told that they just wanted to be friends. Every woman I have ever met has only wanted friendship. I am tired of being used giving them my time and attention and yet when I want to take things to a deeper level they just slam the door in my face and say no I only want to be friends with you. I can only take so much. Right now I am pinned against the wall and I can't move anywhere. I can only stand here and at least attempt to see what could be out there. I have trusted the Lord for so long. You know what I have seen. I have seen my job get better. I have seen things in my church happen. I have seen my school grades improve. I have seen friends come and go and stand beside me. You know what I have seen God's hand move in every aspect in my life and you know what I am tired of being looked over in this aspect. I am comeing very close to going boldly to the throne and showing how desperatly I want this to happen in my life.

Well then according to your logic because I desire a wife I will not have it because I am telling God what I want in life and that isn't right.

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37

The thing about our desires - that people won't take into account when quoting verses like this - is that the closer we are to God, and the more our livess begin to reflect Jesus and the more our desires change. We stop desiring worldly things, we stop desiring things of a selfish nature - we start desiring things that fit in with God's Will for His people - the desires of our heart start to become more in tune with the desires of God's heart - so to speak.

With this in mind, we need to be careful about quoting verses like "God will give you the desires of your heart" - because it doesn't mean that God will give us everything we want in any circumtances - if we desire for a neighbour to drop over dead because they've been mean to us, and believe with all our hearts that God will give us the desires of our heart - because after all - that's what the bible says - do you really thing God will grant that? I know that's an extreem example, and I'm not for a second saying that there's anything BAD about desiring companionship etc - just that to quote that verse - you need to think more deeply about it to understand what God is really saying there.

Talie said:

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37

The thing about our desires - that people won't take into account when quoting verses like this - is that the closer we are to God, and the more our livess begin to reflect Jesus and the more our desires change. We stop desiring worldly things, we stop desiring things of a selfish nature - we start desiring things that fit in with God's Will for His people - the desires of our heart start to become more in tune with the desires of God's heart - so to speak.

With this in mind, we need to be careful about quoting verses like "God will give you the desires of your heart" - because it doesn't mean that God will give us everything we want in any circumtances - if we desire for a neighbour to drop over dead because they've been mean to us, and believe with all our hearts that God will give us the desires of our heart - because after all - that's what the bible says - do you really thing God will grant that? I know that's an extreem example, and I'm not for a second saying that there's anything BAD about desiring companionship etc - just that to quote that verse - you need to think more deeply about it to understand what God is really saying there.

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Great thread 2Timothy2.

And great explanation Talie of misuse of "desires of the heart" scripture.

There have been some great points made so far!

Joeman1-I can certainly understand how you are feeling, because I at times have felt the same way. I didn't have a serious relationship with anyone until I was 26. I was every guy's "best friend" that I was interested in. And it does hurt. And I do think that God wants us to share every emotion that we have with Him. But, what we have to learn to do is submit our will to God's. Yes, He wants to give us our desires, but as Tallie said, the closer we become to God the more our desires don't matter any more. Our desires became more aligned with God's desire for us and we want His desires.

I have also heard said "When we continue to stare at the door God has closed in our lives, we may very well miss the door He has opened behind us." If you continue to stare at the "door" of closed relationships, you may miss the great blessing God has in store for you because you are hanging on to what you want, not what God may have for you. There could be some valuable lessons He has for you to learn now. Or maybe some mission or service that would be better for you to be single. Just because you are single now, doesn't mean you will always be single. But you just have to submit your desires to Him. You have to give them to Him, and let Him work His best for you in your life. I know it's hard, but it does come down to the question 2Tim2 asks "How much do you (or do you) trust God?" Maybe this is a trust issue that God is working with you on.

2Timothy2 said:

The question is, do you really trust God or not?

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I agree with you 2Tim2, but I think there's also a problem in that people want they're lonelyness to be removed, but they simply assume that finding a mate is how that's going to get fixed.

If someone feels lonely, instead of praying for what they feel the answer to their problem should be, they could be praying for God to take away that loneliness in His way, which might be to make them satisfied with being single.

I'm going to log off now as a punishment for over-using the intalics function.

Edit.

D'oh, should've read the rest of the posts. "Holy Vending Machine", that's hilarious. I've usually referred to that as "The Holy Concierge".

I guess the common consensus is that I am being selfish adn when you are selfish nothing good will happen for you. Thanx guys I really needed to hear that I am in the wrong.

Joeman1-

I don't think that anybody is saying or insinuating that you are selfish. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone. In fact, God made us that way. We are made to be in relationship with others. However, that relationship may not always be a romantic one. I think what is being said is that yes, you have desires and it is fine to bring those desires to God, it is not selfish to do so. But, in the end, your prayer should be "your will, not mine". God doesn't promise us that we will get everything we want. But if we submit to Him, His plans for us will be so much better than anything we could come up with ourselves.

Your are not selfish to desire to have someone, and you are not selfish in bringing that desire to God. But, things have to happen in God's time, which isn't always on our timetable. This is where God builds our trust in Him. We have to trust that God's timing will be perfect.

joeman1 said:

I guess the common consensus is that I am being selfish adn when you are selfish nothing good will happen for you. Thanx guys I really needed to hear that I am in the wrong.

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I can't speak for the rest of the posters, but I was referring to the OP, and wasn't even aware of your participation in this thread until I read this. And after reading, I still don't think any of this thread is "all about you".

If God made you content with being single, that would be as much of a solution as Him giving you a wife.

Of course, you'd have to be open to whatever God wants for you, not convinced that a wife is the answer you're looking for.

If God came down and flat out told you you could serve Him better as a single man, would you still insist that He get you married?

Marriage very well may be in the cards for you, but you still have to remain open to different roads God may want you to walk down.

wvmtnkid said:

Joeman1-

I don't think that anybody is saying or insinuating that you are selfish. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone. In fact, God made us that way. We are made to be in relationship with others. However, that relationship may not always be a romantic one. I think what is being said is that yes, you have desires and it is fine to bring those desires to God, it is not selfish to do so. But, in the end, your prayer should be "your will, not mine". God doesn't promise us that we will get everything we want. But if we submit to Him, His plans for us will be so much better than anything we could come up with ourselves.

Your are not selfish to desire to have someone, and you are not selfish in bringing that desire to God. But, things have to happen in God's time, which isn't always on our timetable. This is where God builds our trust in Him. We have to trust that God's timing will be perfect.

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I am so battle weary right now. Yes there are a lot of great things happening in my life but what I truly desire has yet to develope. I don't think you all are understanding what is going on here. everything is great except for this one area. I am pined with no where to turn.

joeman1 said:

I am so battle weary right now. Yes there are a lot of great things happening in my life but what I truly desire has yet to develope. I don't think you all are understanding what is going on here. everything is great except for this one area. I am pined with no where to turn.

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I think I understand more than you know. Believe me when I say it wasn't in my plans to be 35 and still unmarried.

I have had many of the same feelings that you have expressed here. Most things in my life were going well, except in the area of romantic relationships. I got to the point in which felt as if God just wasn't hearing me or my prayers in this area. Everyone around me seemed to be getting what they wanted, why not me? What had I been doing wrong or what had I not been asking for in the right way? Why did it seem I was to forever be labeled "friend" or "pal" or "buddy" by the fellows I was interested in?

I came to the point where I just plain got tired of fighting it. I said to God that if single was what I was supposed to be for the rest of my life, than that would be fine. I had come to grips and accepted this. And I was fairly content. I became really involved in some ministries in my church, I took trips to visit my friends who lived away from me whenever I wanted, and I spent a lot of time with my family. I was able to do a lot of things that I probably would have never been able to do if I had been married.

In the last two months, there has been a fellow in my life that has completely thrown me for a loop. He is some of the things I swore I would never be attracted to. He's a couple of years (3) younger than me and he lives in the North! (I know, I know, but I am a tried and true southern gal!) We are 7-8 hours apart, which won't always be easy to deal with. But, at this moment, I couldn't have asked for anyone better for me. We just click. And it just happened out of the blue. I don't have any idea where this relationship is going (or even if it is to go anywhere), but I do know that I finally had come to the point where being single was ok-not just saying those words, but truly accepting my singleness. And if things don't work out with this guy, sure, I will be disappointed, but I also know that I will live and I can have a pretty good life being contentedly single.

So, I know what you are feeling. But, I also know that God will provide if it is His will and He will do it in His time and perhaps in ways we would never expect.

Sure everyone wants me to be content have you ever thought that yes I am content but that I still want more in life. You know there is nothing wrong with wanting more than what you have as long as it doesn't belong to someone else.

2Timothy2 said:

The question is, do you really trust God or not?

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I think someone who believes that God does have someone for them and waits, does trust God. Because someone waits for a spouse does not mean they do not do God's will while waiting.

.

Yes, if God wills for someone to be single for life, that's what will happen.

However....

Statistically, most adults will end up marrying.

Also, sometimes God does not change our desires... but He does change why we desire those things. I know I still desire a husband as much as I did when I was younger... but now I want it so I can learn about intimacy and community as God designed it, and so I can grow as a person and better know God through it. And guess what? I am engaged and getting married in August. Has it been a fairy tale, an easy road? Of course not. It has been wonderful though, and I've learned more about God than I could have otherwise.

And it is never God's will for us to be completely and utterly alone, without companionship or friendship of any sort. Psalms says, "He puts the lonely in families."

God wants us to trust in Him regardless of whether we stay married or single. He wants us to rely on His will and way and that we wait for all the right reasons which are all of God's reasons. And that He will bless us if we do.