Baked Beans okay for Singles (humor)

caitlincares

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As singles it is fine to eat baked beans preferably NOT on a date. :p
Here is a funny story I stole from the Golden Eagles forum.


:D baked beans *very funny* :D

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for
baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always
had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought
to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he
would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from
work. Since she lived in the country she called her
husband and told him that she would be late because
she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the
baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she
still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
off any ill effects by the time she reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she
had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the
way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she
felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner
tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her
chair at the table. She seated herself and just as
he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,
the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The
baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and
the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while her
husband was out of the room she seized the
opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood
mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked
cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other
room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin,
placed it on her lap and folded her hands
upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her
if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around
the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!
 
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