Proper method for disposal of vampires

In the Holy Water thread, jukes told this story:

I said that I was an infant and that Holy Water was poured over my head and I was baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. He stopped and said, "There's no such thing as Holy Water." My friend who had been with me stopped, grabbed his chest and shouted, "OH NO! WHAT DO WE KILL ALL THE VAMPIRES WITH?!?" The next day at work, all the screensavers said, "Without Holy Water, the world would be overrun by Vampires."

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This got me to thinking about some research I did once when in college; I had been investigating Countess Elizabeth Bathory, who, in the 16th century, lured better than 300 young girls to her castle in the Carpathian Mountains and murdered them in extremely lurid ways so she could bathe in their blood (she thought it kept her skin looking young). One method that I recall was that the victim was locked naked inside an iron cage which was studded with razor-sharp barbs inside, which was then suspended over a pit in which the Countess sat; the Countess' henchwomen would then prod at the girl with red-hot iron rods, and in shrinking back from the hot iron, the poor wretch inside the cage would literally rip herself to ribbons, while the Countess bathed in the bloody shower below.

(Clean make-up, Cover Girl's the one for.....)

Blech! Anyway, in doing this research, I came across all sorts of interesting things about vampires; people actually believed in them back then, of course, and I found out that the traditional "stake through the heart" biz was only one method of disposal. So, for your future reference, here are some interesting facts and approved disposal methods, recorded by People Who Were There.

In the old European vampire myths, vampires did not have "kewl" names like Spike and Angel, and you didn't get rid of them by beating the crap out of them. Some of the better-known species of vampires which were believed to have infested Europe in the 18th century follows, plus their country of origin, and approved method of disposal:

• Sampiro; Albania. Stake driven through the heart.
  
  
• Nachtzehrer; Bavaria. Buried with silver coin in the mouth, cutting off head with an axe.
  
  
• Ogoljen, Mura; Bohemia. Burial at a crossroads.
  
  
• Krvoijac; Vepir; Bulgaria. Chained to its grave with wild roses.
  
  
• Pijavica; Croatia. Cutting off head and burying it between the legs of the corpse.
  
  
• Kuzlak; Dalmatia. Transfixing with a hawthorn bough.
  
  
• Kathakano; Crete. Boiling the head in vinegar.
  
  
• Brukulaco, Vrykolako; Greece. Cutting off and burning the head.
  
  
• Liderc nadaly, Vampir; Hungary. Stake driven through heart, nails driven through the temples of the head.
  
  
• Dearg-dul; Ireland. Piling stones on the grave.
  
  
• Vryolakas; Macedonia. Pouring boiling oil on it; driving nails through the navel.
  
  
• Upier, Upierzyca; Poland. Burying face-down.
  
  
• Gierach, Stryz; Prussia. Putting poppy seeds in the grave.
  
  
• Myrovets, Vurdalak, Upierzhy; Russia. Transfixing it with stake through the chest; driving a stake through the heart---must be driven home with one blow, otherwise the vampire revives (yikes!).
  
  
• Strigoiul; Rumania. Removing the heart and slicing in two; garlic placed in the mouth, nails driven through the head.
  
  
• Muronul; Rumania. Nail driven through the forehead or stake through the heart.
  
  
• Vlkoslak, Mulo, Dhampir; Serbia. Cutting off its toes, driving nails through the neck.
  
  
• Neuntoner; Saxony. Buried with a lemon in the mouth.
  
  
• Vampiro, Bruxsa; Spain and Portugual. No known remedy (yikes again!).

I think through this you can see that the actual myths surrounding vampires were a lot more gruesome than the American pre-processed Wonder Bread version found in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which seems to have more in common with a Jet Li movie than the actual slaying of vampires....or at least according to the approved methods recommended by people back in the days when rural peasants still actually believed in vampires.

As for Anne Rice, let's not even go there.

Blessings,
---Wols.

where did you find all this great info?

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Most of it came from books by Dr. Raymond McNally; A Clutch of Vampires and In Search of Dracula were quite helpful. There was also one called The Dracula Myth, but I can't remember who wrote it.

I always thought the IRS was the real bloodsuckers!

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Ah, yes, the Infernal Revenue Service---or, as they were known here a few years ago when they were smashing down doors and confiscating whatever they felt like without being accountable to anybody, the IR-SS. (Seig Heil.)

I'd say they fit the description pretty well.

Uhm....are vampires for real? What does the Bible say about it?

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I don't know about vampires, but those who favor a literal interpretation of Daniel (I am not one, by the way) could interpret Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4:21-30 as a sort of werewolf.

And in real life, there is an actual mental illness in which people feel compelled to drink blood. Some scholars also think that in the Middle Ages, little-understood diseases like rare forms of porphyria (which caused people to shun sunlight and to crave hemoglobin found in blood) might also have given rise to vampire myths.