Do you ever wish....

I understand where you're coming from as far as the pain is concerned. A lot of times I've said out of frustration that I wish I could just quit because there's no point, but to be honest, I don't want the desire to leave me....ever. I have so much love stored in me and I believe that it's going to be so worth it when I finally find someone.

Quiet Storm said:

but to be honest, I don't want the desire to leave me....ever. I have so much love stored in me and I believe that it's going to be so worth it when I finally find someone.

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....so awesome

Quiet Storm said:

I understand where you're coming from as far as the pain is concerned. A lot of times I've said out of frustration that I wish I could just quit because there's no point, but to be honest, I don't want the desire to leave me....ever. I have so much love stored in me and I believe that it's going to be so worth it when I finally find someone.

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Agree

mrstace said:

I was thinking about something today. I was thinking about how from time to time, the desire to have somone special in our life is greater than it is at others. For some, it is a day to day change, or it make come in periods.

Do you ever wish you could just turn that desire off? Just say "I don't want to deal with this, and flip the switch and turn it off". Many people live in denial ans say "I don't need anyone". When they really do, but wouldn't it be nice to be able to take that one out of your programming?

Ever been successful in doing so?

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I think sometimes you simply have to look and see that marriage as good as it could possibly be is always going to be a non-solution. That desire to have everything perfect and right in our lives can only be solved by lives that are really modeled after God. Even then there will be parts of our lives that remain aberations - just like Pauls's thorn in the flesh.

At the same time, I don't want to discount how wonderful marriage can be but I don't think life will ever be this grand improvement we imagine it to be until we really have our hearts after the things of God.

And in so far as flipping the desire off, I've heard several theories but I can't claim to have a handle on the desire thing. Still, I imagine being with someone who has the same imperfections as me and that's a real turn off. So I guess alot of it depends largely on your imagination. Plus I see in my life the chance to be a minister to people and unless I really had a wife commited to that, it could be more of a detriment.

So yeah, singleness is not this pie in the sky perfect life, but neither is marriage. Certainly I think it would be easier to deal with self issues before marriage than walk into something like that like a powder keg waiting for some match to get close enough to cause an explosion.

I for one, definetely want to marry one day. The desire of wanting to be with someone is something that I know if its in God's will, He'll make it happen. too beautiful...

~Katty~

God built us with a desire to pair off into couples and eventually families. Even though we are without that kind of relationship right now, if God gave us the desire, it must be a good thing, something good for us, not bad.

The trouble isn't having the feelings, the trouble is that for some reason, we aren't able to have that kind of relationship right now.

Being patient is hard, but good things come to those who wait on the Lord.

lambslove said:

God built us with a desire to pair off into couples and eventually families. Even though we are without that kind of relationship right now, if God gave us the desire, it must be a good thing, something good for us, not bad.

The trouble isn't having the feelings, the trouble is that for some reason, we aren't able to have that kind of relationship right now.

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I disagree. Sometimes the feelings are just there for you to learn to cope. Not every feeling that God has given you is something that is meant to be acted on and this can certainly be the case with feelings for marriage.

mrstace said:

Yes, I know, and fighting God given desire is a tough miserable battle. I keep hoping God will let me trade this desire in for something that suits me a little better.

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Me. too. But just when I think I've conquered the desire, it comes back and punches me in the nose again and says, "Here I am! Deal with me!"

Hmmm… Well actually I’m 34 and haven’t gotten married yet. I’m good lookin, have love for my Lord and have many other positive aspects to my imperfect uniqueness, yet I still carry on in a solitary state.

Actually my pasture suggested that I seek a wife yet I find self-resistance toward this action, or at least the pursuit there of. He said, “Christian marriage is unlike your experience with your family” (paraphrase). Yet memories of family situations still cause discomfort when dealing with perspective mates.

I think I’ve gotten to the point of belief that past family situations will not recur in my personal relationship with a wife/family yet still memories of what was still remain.

Yet to “turn off” a desire that is basically the design of the human being is not something easily accomplished. Yes there are those that pervert this design to the extreme but as a Christian the wisdom and knowledge of the complexities concerning wholesome relationships is something that we should view highly of, for this is a recurring example set through scriptures.

All I would suggest is have patience and hope that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. As you venture through the life given you that you not take for granted the most important relationship, that which you have with God.

Part of me is afraid that I will lose the desire to find someone, like if I turn it completely over to God (which i know I must do) I will become complacent with where I am in life and lose the desire to find a companion and mate. Even though some days that desire is very painful because it is yet unfilfulled, I am not totally sure I want to fully let go of it either. Sorta of a catch 22, huh?

hotarugari said:

I disagree. Sometimes the feelings are just there for you to learn to cope. Not every feeling that God has given you is something that is meant to be acted on and this can certainly be the case with feelings for marriage.

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hotarugari


This statement is not scriptural. God makes our desires line up with His desire for our lives. Marriage is symbolic of the relationship that Chirst has for the church. If God says that man is not meant to be alone and the desire for marriage is in our hearts, then God will provide the mate. Our problem is that we do not exercise patient waiting for the mate. We live in a society that wants "instant" everything, including the companionship and love of the opposite sex. Until the mate is presented to us, we should continue to prepare ourselves and learn about marriage so that we will know how to live and interact with our mates to have a marriage until death.

naa i dont think i need anyone i used to but why go through all the pain and end up nowhere. seeing the relationship around me makes me not want to go through that, all the lies and the fakeness of it all many of my friends in relationships having been living lies through the whole thing, and getting my heartbroken is not something i want to go through again. frankly if i never put myself out there i wont get hurt, its amazing when i do put myself out their and love like i should it doesnt get me anywhere i get walked on and stomped all over to find myself no where but pain and pain sucks esp if you feel you have to deal with it alone. im not saying im all done trying but i def. dont ever expect it to happen anymore.

mrstace said:

Gee, that sounds familar. The only "conqeuring" techniqe that I ever found was to stay so busy, that you don't have time to think about it. However, when you stay that busy, life gets exhausting and old really quick. A complete lack of balance.

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That's true.

It all comes back to the fact that God built people to be in relationships with one another, and paired off into couples who build families. When we try to deny or ignore that fact, we get off balance one way or another. Keeping the balance between wanting that relationship and obsessing over that relationship is the key.

mrstace said:

Now lambslove,

You in all your infinite wisdom should be able to come up with an answer that is more of an ear tickler than that.

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Nope. I'm not much of an ear-tickler.

Hey! Maybe that's my problem! If I tried tickling ears, I might not be single anymore!

I like whatever pain may come believe it or not. What kind of a writer would I be if I was not looking for something bigger than myself and searching for the ultimate truths in life?