Blonde Jokes

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

>
> Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically,

>
> "What's the matter?"

>
> The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my

> mother had passed away."

>
> "I! 'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day...

> we

> aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

>
> The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to

> keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

>
> The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need

> anything, just let me know," he says.

>
> A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks

> out

> over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to

> her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to

> help?"

>
> "No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said

> that HER mom died too!"

There were 3 blonde men standing on the bank of a river. They had to get across, but because they were blonde, were having a little trouble.

The first blonde man prays to God to make him a smart man so that he can get across, God hears him and gives him brown hair. The now brown-haired man jumps in and swims across.

The second blonde man prays to be made an even smarter man than the first man so that he can get across. God gives this man even darker brown hair, the man builds a boat and rows across.

The third blonde man prays to be made the smartest person ever so that he could get across even easier. God hears his prayer and turns the man into a woman. Then she walks across the bridge.

LOL!!!

Two blondes were walking along the beach. One said to the other, "awww, look at the poor dead bird". The other one looked up in the sky and said "where, where?"

That's funny, Lucy! LOL!


How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?

The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Three women are planning a day trip to Death Valley.

The first woman, a brunette, says, "I'm taking my sunglasses, because I don't want the bright sunlight to hurt my eyes."

The second woman, a redhead, says, "I'm taking sunscreen, because my skin is very delicate, and I don't want to get a bad sunburn."

The third woman, a blonde, says, "I'm taking a car door."

The other two look at her and yell, "WHAT??!?!?!!?"

The blonde shrugs and says, "Hey, when it gets hot, I want to be able to roll the window down!"


Peace be with you,
~VOW

This one is a real groaner:

A blonde answers her front door, it's her boyfriend. He finds her in tears.

"What's the matter, Honey?"

"Oh, I bought this puzzle, and I can't figure it out!"

"What's on the puzzle?" he asked her.

"It's a rooster, here, come in the kitchen and see it."

The boyfriend walks into the kitchen, and on the table is indeed a box with a picture of a rooster on it. Next to the box, there are pieces all over the place.

"Sweetheart," began the boyfriend, in a very gentle voice. "This isn't a puzzle. It's a box of cornflakes."



Peace be with you,
~VOW

The third blonde man prays to be made the smartest person ever so that he could get across even easier. God hears his prayer and turns the man into a woman. Then she walks across the bridge.

Click to expand...

That is not funny at all.

VOW, the corn flakes one is hilarious!

How many blonde jokes are there?

One - all the rest are true!

I've got one:A husband and wife were having breakfast one morning and the husband noticed that his wife was just staring at a can of juice.So the husband said to his wife"Honey, why are u staring at that can of Orange Juice? The wife replied,"Because it says 'Concentrate' on it!" Well, I thought it was funny!

Another one:

What goes: RRRR-SCREECH-RRRR-SCREECH-RRRR-SCREECH?


Answer: A blonde at a blinking red light.


Peace be with you,
~VOW

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

LOL!!!!

Two blondes walked into the front door at NASA and told the receptionist, "We want to be astronauts!"

They were escorted down the hall to the Director's office, who asked them nicely what made them come to that decision.

One blonde looked at her friend, and turned back to the Director. "We decided we want to be the first ones to the Sun."

The Director raised both eyebrows at this. "Uh, Ladies," he said, "we don't have any plans in the future to travel to the Sun. It's too hot; anything we send will get burned up."

The second blonde got a disgusted look on her face. "Well, DUH! We already thought about that! We volunteer to go at NIGHT!"


Peace be with you,
~VOW

A blonde went ice fishing, and started to make a cut in the ice when a voice from above boomed out: "There are no fish there."

So she moved to another spot, and started to cut another hole in the ice. The same voice said, "There are no fish there."

When she moved to another spot and started to cut, the same voice again proclaimed, "There are no fish there!"

The blonde raised his eyes toward heaven and asked, " Are you God?"

The voice replied, "No, I'm the manger of this skating rink!"

A blond woman who was known to be permiscuous went to the doctor to get checked out because she was not feeling well in the morning.

After a short time, and the lab results, the doctor sat her down and said, "The results came back positive, your pregenant!"

The blond girl just sat there stunned in disbelief for about 15 seconds then looked the doctor in the eye and asked, "Is it mine?"

A brunette went to the doctor, and said, " Whenever I touch myself, it hurts!"

So she touched her leg, her face, and her arm, and every time, she would scream.

The doctor asked her, " Did you dye your hair?"

The lady said "Yes," and he asked, " Your blonde, arent you?"

The lady nodded. " How did you know?" she asked.

The doctor replied, " Your finger is broken."

Did you hear about the blonde who no longer serves ice cubes at her house any more?

She lost the recipe.


Peace be with you,
~VOW

lol... i love blonde jokes... and i'm blonde!
ok so this is old, but bear with me...

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.