I neglected my wife... now she has an internet love intrest...

mghalpern

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juliegirl said:
juliegirl said:
Broken Arrow...," my husband refuses to post in this forum anymore. Obviously, he doesn't like things that have been said in this thread. Here's an update...I would like to say that we are doing much better. It seemed that for a couple of weeks that we were. BUT, I goofed up and "talked" to "cyber boy" again as he calls the guy I met over the Internet. I have blocked and deleted the guy from my MSN, AOL, etc...But, because I messed up and said hi to the person, it has caused weeks of fights, accusations, and downright mean things being said....things he's said to me, and things I've said to him...I don't want anything to do with this other guy...I've thrown his phone number away...and the guy has tried to instant message me several times, and I've either ignored it, or blocked it...I have told my husband that I repented for what I did...by having an "online affair" with somebody else...The "ministry" part has not changed...he's still doing "what God has called him to do..." We had another huge fight a couple of days ago, and he told me that if "the ministry is going to destroy our marriage, then fine, because I'm not quitting it..." I told him I still want a separation. I don't want a separation because of "cyber boy" as he calls him...I never wanted a separation because of him...I've tried to tell him that things with that guy are OVER WITH...I regret ever having talked to the guy...I was wrong in what I did..I want a separation because I can't stand this constant arguing, yelling, accusations, mistrust, and not believing in one another...I don't know where to go from here...but all this fighting is no good...and I'm no innocent....I have not been nice at all for a while now...it takes very little for me to go off on him...and as far as me getting involved with "his ministry.." It's extremely difficult for me to want to get involved in ANYTHING he's doing when we have spent several hours screaming and arguing with one another...I can't just walk in a church and put on a happy face and pretend I'm just all fine and I can help save the world...In fact, I feel like I'm living a lie to walk in a church and act like a "happy, Christian family..." when this stuff goes on at home...Broken Arrow" sees that I posted this, and I'm sure it will cause a lot more discussion and fighting...(nothing unusual, had 2 to 3 hours of fighting yesterday) but I had to get this out...still hurting, and still in need of a lot of prayer...




juliegirl… I’m so sorry that your husband has not made any changes yet. I PMed him about three weeks ago and he never responded. I gave him my personal telephone number so we could talk, but it appears that he and I (was) a lot alike…VERY PRIDEFUL! I’m not sure which version of the Bible he is using, but the ones I reference tell me that my family life must be in order before I can be in ministry. As a matter of fact, both my wife and I stepped down from ministry when we separated…our church suggests it and I totally agree. We have no business ministering to others when we can’t minister to each other.



Regarding you separating…I would strongly suggest that you reconsider (unless there is physical danger for you or your children)…The statistics are grim…only one in eight marriages that separate return to their marriage. It was my wife’s decision to separate. For the first time since, there is a glimmer of hope that the walls may be coming down between us and that her heart is starting to soften (please keep us in your prayers – Michael and Laura). Thank you.



I will keep praying for you and bokenarrow (and the family)…Michael
 
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bliz

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Juliegirl -

My heart goes out to you. It became quite clear to many of us (she said speaking for others - hope I'm being fair here!) that your husband had no intentions to change his ways. What he is doing is ministry - any opposiotion to what he is doing is opposition to his ministry- because what he is doing is ministry - anyone who confronts him is confronting his ministry... I believe he loves his "ministry" more than he loves the Lord.

My guess is that he hates the idea of a seperation becasue it may mean the end of his ministry; certainly it will not enhance his fantasy of a happy Christian family. I have worked for years with Christian colleges. I saw over and over again that until they were willing to stop playing the Christian game - pretending to be happy, growing Christians, students could not begin to have a real and vibrant life in Christ.

I don't want to be negative... but until he has a change of heart, I do not see a lot of hope here. I hope you are getting some support and help from friends.

Take refuge in the Lord. He knows and He understands. Please get some help and counseling for yourself!

You always have some friends here.

Betsy
 
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fluffy_rainbow

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Julie, I read every post in this thread and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am things have not gotten better. This situation is like a dog chasing its tail in circles. Your husband came on here and made it out like he was trying so hard to be the loving husband and you rebuffed his affections because you wanted your online guy and then we find out that there is another side to the story, one very different from what he told. In all honesty, and I hate to seem like I'm passing judgement, but your posts seem more sincere. I just sense this arrogance from him and it upsets me. A grown man, youth minister or not, should not come to an internet message forum and give out his telephone number to teenage girls. In all honesty, that's not even appropriate within the church. When I was in the youth group, us girls called our youth pastor's wife because it was understood that a man serving in a ministry capacity in the church was not to spend "alone time" ministering to young women. I think he enjoys the attention and feeling as if he's "saved" people, not for the glory of God, but to say "look who I saved today. Look who I kept from commiting suicide. Look who I talked out of having pre-marital sex" It's the pride issue.

I think there needs to be some serious evaluation of his priorities. I'm assuming from your posts that you have children. Well, I'm sorry but God says to make your family a priority. Yes, it is God first...but it isn't about winning souls around the clock and neglecting your family. That is not pleasing to God. He needs to think about his children as well.

I just pray things will get better. I'm so sorry this has happened to both of you.
 
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sweatpea_ishere

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Julie Girl,

I posted earlier that I thought he would once again go back to his old ways....apparently he never really stopped them. With all the problems you two have had and with everything out in the open I believe he has made it clear who is first in his life and who isnt. If he were so concerned about the welfare of children then he needs to tend to his own first. Are the children old enough to realize what is going on? Do they see how he is so obssessed with other kids and not them? If the kids have said things about this to you and have asked questions this has to be hurtfull to them also for thier father to care more about strange kids then his own. I would imagine also that in time they would grow to regret the church and look at it as something that is more important to thier father than them. Has the church not noticed the attention the girls are getting from him or perhaps his behavior is a little less than acceptable?
I think he isnt as concerned with doing GODs work than with the ego he has building from being around young kids and looking important to them and others.
I will be praying for you. Someday your husband will realize what is most important in life and it may be too late when he does. If not in this life when he is standing before GOD and has to feel the pain he onced cause on everyones life it is then he will understand.
 
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hisbloodformysins

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pegatha said:
In nearly 24 years of marriage, my husband has never given me any reason to feel jealous of another woman. Even so, it would be no small matter to have teen-aged girls calling him up and asking for advice or attention. That would be entirely inappropriate, no matter how secure I felt in our marriage. In your situation, it must be terribly unsettling to your wife.

It's not just a quesion of whether you're vulnerable to temptation right now. It's the fact that it looks questionable in the eyes of the world and the church, that it may encourage those girls (unwittingly) to develop an unhealthy dependence on or infatuation with you, and most importantly, it makes your wife feel insecure. For all those reasons, especially the last one, it will be much better for everyone involved if you take Selune's advice and refer those young women to a woman counselor from now on.
A little off topic here.....

This just brings up an issue..... when I was 17 y.o and in youth group, I went to my youth pastor a lot, not because I was attracted to him, I just felt comfortable. Then one day there was this sudden change, he automatically redirected me to his wife. Every time, it made me feel like I was dirty and had done something wrong. I felt rejected and contributed to why I stopped going. I knew why, because they probably would've felt it was inappropriate, but he was my youth pastor for crying out loud.... what is he there for? His sex didn't have anything to do with it........

I didn't think that maybe his christian wife (who at this age you assume is stable, whole, not going to have jealous fits) might've had a problem with it. I just took it as utter rejection, and I still remember how it made me feel, I didn't think it was right.

Just FYI....
Now as I'm a little older I am able to think back without taking it personally.... but comon, do you really think all these teenage girls motives is to get in bed with their pastor..... Atleast be as subtle and gentle as possible. They are looking up to a kind, godly male adult figure, maybe like a father when they are calling his home I'm sure.

It was an issue for me, just had to express this.

HB:scratch:
 
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E_Powers

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after thinking about this thread i felt broken arrow needs swollow his pride and to set aside his ministry long enough to rebuild his marriage and reemerge into his ministry with his wife by his side to help him and support him. other wise the the "Works" wont mean a thing
 
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pegatha

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hisbloodformysins said:
Now as I'm a little older I am able to think back without taking it personally.... but come on, do you really think all these teenage girls motives is to get in bed with their pastor..... At least be as subtle and gentle as possible.
I can understand what you're saying, and you raise a good point. In a situation like yours, I think you were owed an explanation. It could have been as simple as telling you that the counseling load was getting too heavy, so he & his wife would be dividing up the load and she'd be taking all the girls. He didn't have to make you feel dirty or contaminated that way.

And to answer your question, no, I don't think most teen-aged girls want to get their youth pastors into bed, nor did I say anything to that effect. I pointed out the possibility of temptation, but I was also trying to point out the possibility of inappropriate emotional (not physical) intimacy developing. Broken Arrow's obvious emotional need for these girls was unhealthy for him, his marriage, and the girls themselves; he was an adult, using needy teen-agers to feed his own ego. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on all the things that could go wrong, given a combustible situation like that.
 
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I beleive that all your wife is asking for is an ear to hear. As God says in his word, he that has an ear to hear, hear what the Lord is saying to the church. The Bible also says, Husband love your wife as Christ has love the church and gave his life for it. Your wife is the church in the eyes of God, so how can you show love and concern for the young ladies in the church ministry and ignore the church (your wife) that you have at home. I believe that your wife uses this on-line relationship to release her frustrstions. She is only saying things to this man that she would like to express to you but she may feel as though you are not worthy because you are not there for her. She may be seeking this man because he is saying the things that she really wants to hear from you. You as the man over your own household have left the door open to Satan to attack your wife. He has come in and bind the strongman and has taken his goods. Your wife is your goodthing and you are just letting Satan attack her at his will. He is telling her that you don't care and that you only care about those other females and not her. Satan has always lied to women from the beginning. You have made vows to protect this woman and if you don't get about doing your job as the Lord has instructed you will lose your good thing, not to another man but to Lucifer. He is the one that is seducing your wife and he is seducing you to, by enticing you with those young girls. And you are using those youngto feel good about your self. That is not right for you to feed off of there weekness. Your wife and kids should be your first priority and if you put them first then I believe that your light will shine to the congregation as well as to your wife. I pray that the Lord will led and guide you unto all truth.
 
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hisbloodformysins

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It is soooooo much easier to have a ministry to others, yet be "real" with our closest members of the family. It is hard to really "love" the person you are with everyday.... continually seeing their flaws, or being selfish minded. Anyways, not that my 2 cents worth is going to change much of anything...... but I agree that the op is very out of balance.... he's to love his wife as hisself, give himself up for her....... live with her considerately..... and he is not doing this if he's putting his ministry above his wife. Yes, God does call us to ministry, and it seems that some ministers have the attitudes that their spouse's are holding them back... my uncle even considered divorce with my aunt so he could "move on and do the things of God..." what kind of distortion and hipocracy is that? God does not call these ministers to only love their spouses if their spouses are behaving Godly, share their vision..... if the wife is complaining too much because she expects the hubby to esteem her above his ministry... well, that's his God given duty. And he's actually hurting his ministry by chosing it over his wife, his first and foremost responsibility is his wife. Doesn't the new testemant list some qualifications for the elders as being able to stick by their families, being good family men (my paraphrase)? How much more so for any other titled minister of God? I'm afraid the op does not recognize the error of his way if this indeed is true. He's neglecting the cry of his wife..... ugg, how difficult us women can be;) I know I put a lot of pressure and stress and my hubby. I expect to be esteemed above anyone and anything else in his life, except of course God, and I married a Godly man expecting a godly man out of Godly fear to treat me as such, even when he didn't feel like it.... no way in the world did I ever consider marrying a non-christian. If he can't manage and minister to and take care of his own home..... how can he really minister effectively in the real world? Unless it's just because it's easy. It's easy to love those who love us, but those who hate us that's a different story, yet what reward do we get by loving those who love us alone? Kind of the same thing..... it's easy to care about and minister to those who aren't so close to us, but I really think our responsibility is to love those closest to us first, then reach out to the world.

That's my 2 cents for what it's worth.

HB

Her hubby is not trying to understand her, sounds like he considers her a nuisance.......... "sure, I'll love you till death do us part.... I'll give myself up for you.... what, you want me to die for you?? Yah right, good bye, there's the door":confused:
 
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brokenarrow

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I actually thought about calling... but then when you posted that you had offered your # to me... I decided that if you couldnt keep that to yourself.. then you certainly couldnt keep anything we talked about to yourself... so sorry michael.. trust is hard earned... and you were way too eager to post what you had done... in here...

... as for the rest... I am evil, a perv... and guilty... so I have no comment...
 
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Sharae

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Just want you guys to know I am, and have been, praying for you both. I just wanted to share something that has gone through my mind as I've read the posts in here. I grew up seeing my mother's loneliness and feeling as a child that my father's ministry was more important than his family. As an adult I've been able to process it and realise that he didn't feel that way at all, he just took for granted that because we were family we'd always be there for him. As they got older, my mom felt that she could have handled things a bit differently and been more supportive of him, and dad realised that he could have been more involved with his family but sadly it takes two to tango. Because he never really worked on a relationship with any of us, we all learned to get on with our lives without his involvement or attention, but now that he is getting on a bit, and my mom has passed away, he longs for us to rally around him. The people he ministered to ate his bread, heard his words and moved on......they do not ring him up on his birthday, sit down for a thanksgiving meal with him, share the joy of Christmas with him. None of them curl up with him on a cold winter's evening in front of the fire, none of them bring their children and grand-children to play on his lawn, and none of them pop in for a quick visit just because they happen to be passing by. All 4 of his children love him, we harbour no malice or anger towards him, but we just don't have any real relationship to build on and so the best we can give him is compassion and kindness, but we are very aware of his pain as he recognises that the distance and loneliness he feels are simply the result of choices he made many years ago. God created us all for intimacy, friendship and community and one of the things that most loudly declares His provision and care for us is the witness of a loving and united family. I think the devil fears nothing as much as to witness God building reconciliation and unity into our closest relationships. I dare you guys to cling together and make the devil tremble. I feel for you both and will continue to pray for your relationship both with each other and with God.
 
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isaiah5213

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juliegirl & brokenarrow,

my heart continues to go out to you both. i continue to pray for you both. juliegirl, to repair your part in this marriage, i cannot stress to you enough, how important it is for you to pray and fast for your marriage.

i am not sure if you have heard the following phrases:

"fast till you are thin, if you have to.. in the scriptures it doesn't say "if" you fast.. but "when" you fast... (matt 6:16)"

"a woman's frequent sins are deceitfulness, manipulativeness, and a man's frequent sins are pride, and lack of love."

juliegirl: "bite your tongue til the blood runs down the back of your throat"-- i know you want to get defensive, and point out HIS sin, and HIS wrongs, and he may indeed have hundreds more than you.. etc etc etc.. and he may be trying to make excuses for his sin, by slamming yours into your face all the time, but you HAVE to be convicted about your sin in all this: "saying hi" was running back to the wrong.. i know you know it. your husband knows it, we all know it, most of all, God knows it---and you running back to your sin really had and has its long term consequences. it was an emotional affair--just like your husband is having an emotional affair w/his ministry, you went back to your emotional affair. you can't not forgive your husband for not seeing his sin, when you "just said hi"..--it only states that you aren't seeing your sin either...


don't get me wrong. i know i am coming across as self-righteous and holier than thou, and i am sorry i do.. i know how my sins affect my whole household, my friends, my family, my enemies, even.

but one sin i am really good at.. the scriptures say confess your sin daily.. and sometimes i confess my wrongs over and over and over to my friends, family, husband--but i don't change that sin!!! with me, i am trying to beat myself up so that i am too bloody for anyone else to get a chance at me!!! it's a form of pride i have! another thing i do, when i confess the same thing over and over, is not only "talk" spiritural, and fool others--but i am not fooling God, because he and i know, i am not "acting" spiritural..and you know what else it is when i tell others over and over and over again the wrongs i do, but i don't change? others hear me, and after awhile they feel used.. they think i have that thinking that if i am confessing it, then my sin is over, and i can go on and do it again, because i confessed it didn't i? God forgave me didn't he? so he will forgive me again! but that's not what i am thinking.. i am thinking that one day, one day, i will confess this sin,and i will never do it again, eventually. one day i will change. sigh. and others believe i am trying to find a license to do the sin over again. or i am trying to find a reason why it should not be a sin--making excuses for why it was okay that i did "this" sin... if they knew what i was thinking, then they would understand where i was coming from when i did this--i tell you, that last one sends my hubby to the roof when i do that..it scares him. it shows him i am not serious about repenting, and that i will do it again.

i know i come across strongly, and harshly.. and over and over again i say i am sorry i am sorry i am sorry. you guys have children and a ministry here. you have to see, whether you like it or not, that the sin not only involves you and your family, but the teens around you, the church members, the teens' families, etc etc etc.. it is a thousand dominoes w/one wavering...

you both can turn this into the glory of God. you can beat satan on this one.. you can overcome the deceitfulness, the pride, the arrogance, the lying, etc etc etc, and really conquer it all!!

i am not kidding or lying, when i tell you that i put your family on my prayer list. i am not being sarcastic when i tell you that i have begged God to really help you guys, to give me the right words to type, or SOMEONE on this board the right words. i pleaded to God to take your hearts as they are and really crush them up and give you both new hearts, put thru the fire, tested, tried, pure, beautiful, sharing, a real love for God, and a pure and new and GIVING love for each other--cuz in the scriptures, that is what love really and truly is: GIVING.

i know you are both hurt. it is obvious that both of you are having such a hard time forgiving each other. you both have such deep pain from each other. i look at your relationship, and how deep the scars are, and i thank God that he does exist, that he loves us, and he heals us. even from our own self-inflicted injuries. even our hurt. even our deaths! and God can really bring this marriage back from death! it only takes one of you to believe in that. and be willing to do what it takes---make yourself a fool for God if you have to, to bring it to that point, of love and forgiveness, and purity.

deep down: do you want to?? i know you think it will be better if you separate, but honestly?? because you two have children? you will really have to deal w/each other for the rest of your children's lives.. and you will have to forgive anyway, because God is pretty specific about that.. and how can you teach others to forgive, broken arrow, and how can you further your ministry of love and forgiveness, if you can't even forgive your wife??
just beg God, one or both of you, to really WANT the marriage to continue. pray together for that heart! pray to WANT to do whatever it takes to get to heaven, to get others to heaven, to further God's ministry the right way, not the "me" way... pray to God to make the RIGHT and WISE decisions, & that God reveal the truth, in spite of yourselves!!

brokenarrow, if God really wants you in this ministry you are sure he wants for you, what can be so wrong in praying the above prayers!?!! then God will change your wife's heart--as you have been begging God to do, for your ministry! right?!

this is long enough for now. again, i am praying for you both...
 
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bkg

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brokenarrow said:
I actually thought about calling... but then when you posted that you had offered your # to me... I decided that if you couldnt keep that to yourself.. then you certainly couldnt keep anything we talked about to yourself... so sorry michael.. trust is hard earned... and you were way too eager to post what you had done... in here...

... as for the rest... I am evil, a perv... and guilty... so I have no comment...
I just want to say that I'm sorely disappointed in this response. I know Michael, I know his heart, and his desire to reach out to you would never be met with slander or sharing of your conversation. The man is a counselor, for goodness sakes...

You state that trust is hard earned... And that by sharing things on the internet that a person cannot be trusted. So I'm confused... Why would you apply that standard to others, but not to yourself? You originally started this thread and people gave you Godly, honest advice. Should your wife now not trust you for posting of your marrital struggles on CF.com? If I apply the logic you just stated to your marriage, I would argue that you dumped your "trust bucket" the moment you opened this thread.

But I don't think that was your intent, nor do I think it was Michael's. So I would encourage you to think and pray fervently about your response to him, and to all those trying to save your marriage. At this point, it seems you have dozens of people here fighting for your marriage - and the only one fighting against the marriage... well.... is you. Sorry if that sounds harsh or like the words of a Pharisee...

Finally, the last comment in your post quoted above parallels an email I sent to my exwife while we were separated. It's passive aggressive, it's rude, it's not something a man who loves his wife/marriage would say. It's prideful, it's arrogant, it's stubborn. I lost my wife because I refused to humble myself to the Lord, to those trying to help us, and TO HER.... Please don't make that same mistake. I promise you that if you lose your family over pride that you will one day look back with a pain so severe you will not know how to handle it. The fog will lift, your eyes will open, and you will likely feel like you were hit by a 10-ton truck... Ironically, that you were also driving. I've been there, my friend. I, like everyone else (including your wife) am trying to help you see the path that you are taking will not lead to marrital joy, but marrital loss.

I'm reminding of this song by Casting Crowns... Take the words to heart - I didn't...

"American Dream"
All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

So He works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

And he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand
Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
Blessings,
bkg
 
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Jennifer615

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AAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've just come back from holidays and am sad to see that things have got no better. Broken arrow, I am so angry and frustrated with you!! I wonder if you and my ex-husband were separated at birth!!! YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR MARRIAGE!!!!!!!! You are full of pride!!! You are putting your "ministry" before your wife and children!! If you don't stop, I will tell you exactly what will happen!! You and your wife will get a divorce and she will probably remarry to someone who loves her and is a better father to YOUR children!! She will not look back because she is so much happier!! You will have plenty of time to repent, be wise in hindsight, and wish with all your heart that you were not so stupid and blind and wish you knew then what you know now! Besides, God will not bless your "ministry" if you don't obey Him and put the wife He blessed you with, first. There is still time, brokenarrow. Put your "ministry" on the backburner and reconcile your marriage. Maybe take your wife away on vacation somewhere and reconnect. Don't be stupid!! You must be very prideful if you think those teens can't live without you!!! Take some advice from Michael and BKG. They would do anything to be where you are now!

My ex-husband also had a "ministry" which he was convinced with all his heart and soul was God's will and he was going to save the world doing it. It was Amway. He was just sooooo convinced that God was behind it, and was out every night till 2.00 or 3.00am "doing the business". He thought he was going to save thousands doing it, and become a millionaire and save thousands of children in Africa. I supported him for a year, then objected when I saw all our money go down the drain, and him never at home. He was extremely abusive, and really insulted me, saying how selfish and uncaring I was (for wanting my husband at home!!). He was mentally, emotionally and spiritually abusive in so many ways, but his "ministry" Amway was his God, and probably what ultimately tore us apart. We separated for 3 years, and I gave him ample opportunity to change. I said I would give the marriage another try if he quit Amway. He totally refused to quit and refused to change his abusive ways. I divorced him after 3 years. I am now happily remarried and have never looked back. My husband is a much better father to our daughter than he ever was. My ex is no longer doing Amway, because he realised too late it was NOT God's will, and he feels so stupid for not putting me first. He wishes he knew then what he knows now.

Juliegirl, I am so sorry for what is happening. I don't know what to advise you, so I won't advise anything. You can PM me if you want, because I can really relate to what you are going through, if you think I am the right person to PM, because I have no miracle story with my ex. All I can say is seek God in whatever decision you make. I truly feel for you, Juliegirl.

Michael, despite our differences of opinion, I am so happy that things are going better with your wife. I truly hope you reconcile, because I know you love her and will be the best husband for her.
 
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Jennifer615

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AU-Labor
Finally, the last comment in your post quoted above parallels an email I sent to my exwife while we were separated. It's passive aggressive, it's rude, it's not something a man who loves his wife/marriage would say. It's prideful, it's arrogant, it's stubborn. I lost my wife because I refused to humble myself to the Lord, to those trying to help us, and TO HER.... Please don't make that same mistake. I promise you that if you lose your family over pride that you will one day look back with a pain so severe you will not know how to handle it. The fog will lift, your eyes will open, and you will likely feel like you were hit by a 10-ton truck... Ironically, that you were also driving. I've been there, my friend. I, like everyone else (including your wife) am trying to help you see the path that you are taking will not lead to marrital joy, but marrital loss.
That is exactly what I was trying to say, but this is coming from someone who is there now!! That is where my ex-husband is now.

Pride is a sin!! Listen to other Christians' wisedom! We are only trying to save you from, what may be the inevitable, if you don't throw away your pride and reconcile with your wife NOW!!
 
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