Your Favorite "Groaning" Joke . . .

MizDoulos · Mar 28, 2002

I've got many, but here are a couple . . .

1. What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? (No offense to lawyers.)

Ans: One is a scum sucking, garbage eating, bottom feeder. The other is a fish. LOL!!! (My neighbor is a lawyer and he loves these jokes.)

2. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? It's got great food but no atmosphere!

Your turn . . .

Martin · Mar 28, 2002

G - r - o - a - n - .....

Mandy · Mar 28, 2002

LOL!!!

dinkime · Mar 28, 2002

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"where's my tractor?"

MizDoulos · Mar 28, 2002

[GLOW=teal]LOL!!![/GLOW]

Do I hear Martin groaning again?!!?

Rainbow Joy Promises · Mar 28, 2002

Where do generals keep their armies?

Up their sleevies.

*hears more groans*

TheShadow989 · Mar 28, 2002

Q:how many letters are there in the alaphabet?
A:25
wrong answer!17! E.T. flew off in a U.F.O and the C.I.A. went after him.

*hears crickets chirping*

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

Satan is talking to a young lawyer.

S: I will increase your earnings ten fold, make you the most successful in your field, and make you the most
well-known lawyer in the world. But, you must give me your soul, your wife's and children's souls.

L: He thinks for awhile and then says, "OK, what's the catch!!??!!"

:pink:

I think I'll change the name of this thread to "The Groaning Joke Site"

Apologist · Mar 29, 2002

How about this one:

Muldoon's dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.
Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick explained, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

[SHADOW=crimson]Oh, groan, groan, groan . . .[/SHADOW]

Hi, Apologist!

Good to see you.

SenseiPiccolo · Mar 29, 2002

Originally posted by Apologist
How about this one:

Muldoon's dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.
Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick explained, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

LOL

hey wait a minute...
im a baptist...
:sorry:

ok... Independent Baptist...
I dont agree with those other baptist docterines...
:clap:

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

Let's take a break from the "groaners." No offense to lawyers . . .

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

Mandy · Mar 29, 2002

LOL!!

cenimo · Mar 29, 2002

GROANER!

A priest and a minister were driving along the road and ran over a rabbitt. They stopped and stood over the rabbitt, the priest sprinkled the rabbitt with some Holy Water, and the minister took out a bottle and sprinkled it too.
The priest said, " I had no idea you Protestants had Holy Water."
The rabbitt came back to life, hopped a few feet, turned around and waved at them! Hopped a few more feet, turned around and waved again! He continued hopping and waving until he was out of site.
The minister looked at the priest and said, " Not quite Holy Water." He handed the bootle to the priest and said, "Read the label."
It said, " Hare restorer with permanent wave!"

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

TheShadow989 · Mar 29, 2002

quote
"Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds."

those jokes are funny.

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

Shadow, this is for you . . .

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Judy B. · Mar 29, 2002

In what way does an attorney resemble a rabbi? The attorney studies the Law and the profits!

MizDoulos · Mar 29, 2002

Oh, J.B. . . . groan, groan, groan!!! :pink:

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Mandy · Mar 29, 2002

LOL!! Where do you get these?

Your Favorite "Groaning" Joke . . .

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