Child Molestor in the Church

I'm not an expert or anything. I know that a lot of those people are repeat offenders, even after years of staying clean they can snap and give into that sick temptation again. I also know God forgives sin and can and does change lives completely. I do not have a problem with such people attending my church and worshiping along with me. He's saved and forgiven just like me. No, I've never done anything sick and twisted to a child, but I am a sinner and God hates ALL sin - mine too.

All that said, I would have a problem with someone with molestation on their record doing certain ministries, especially children's ministries. When you do such sick and perverted things you have to work really, really hard to earn peoples' trust. There are plenty of ministries where they can work, not on the platform or with the kids. I don't think that's punishment, it's just a consequence.

We go to a large church and there are background checks made on people who want to work in children's ministries. I know there have been people turned down because of something on the record. But they can attend, be a member, do lots of other things. It's one thing to forgive, but it's another thing to blindly let anyone and everyone do whatever they want.

I don't know, does the state not let them go to church at all? Is there really not a group of people he can meet with? I suppose the state is stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand they get accused of being too soft for even letting the guy out of prison, then they get accused of being too hard on the guy by not letting him go to church. Again, I tend to see it as one of those pesky consequense thingies for making such terrible choices. They guy does not have to forsake assembling with other believers. Surely there must be some way for him to worship corporately. Maybe there are also ways for Christians to reach out to people like him.

I see the dilemma. I just think there are still ways to obey God and still follow the law.

I'm an RN who works in a male maximum secuity prison in Upstate NY. This jail seems to have a lot of child rapists. I know that nobody is beyond God's reach, however, we all struggle with the flesh. Studies have been shown that child rapists have an extremely hard, almost impossible, time giving up their desires for children. I would not willingly expose my children to such a person. If such a man were to be allowed in the church every member would have the right to know. And this member should be forbidden to work with children under any circumstances. Not even with another adult present. There are so many other ways to serve that this should not even be an issue. If it does become an issue by this man, then, to me, this should be viewed as a big red flag. I know this may sound harsh, but I come from 10 years experience working with these men. We are held accountable to learn from history. This man has a history. The Church has a history.

A child molestor, like the alcoholic, needs the loving yet stern community of the church to be physical reminders of Christ in their struggles with their thought and action life. I think it is pretty obvious that they should not be involved with children in any way.

As for restricting him from attending church, if that is what the laws say, we should respect those laws. Like the elderly, disabled and sick, if they can't come to the church, we should go to them.

The church should let him in. The same goes for all sinners, whether they are rehabilitated murderers, alcoholics, homosexuals, or liars. It is wrong to keep him out of church.

On the other hand, he should not be left with children. He should not participate in ANY child ministry and he should not be allowed to sit near the youth/ children. The pastor should sit down with the man to lay out the ground rules. Pedophiles have been shown to be chronic repeat offenders. So, care should be taken. But, he should not be cast out.

God bless,
Dave

I hope you all don't mind me participating here. I'm not here to debate, just to talk.

mesue said:

If such a man were to be allowed in the church every member would have the right to know.

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I'm going to agree with you here, but there are some difficult issues that would result. He is going to receive a lot of rejection from people in the congregation. Most people will fear him. And sadly, a good number of these people will hate him. Some of them may even turn belligerent, abusing him verbally or possibly physically. What could a pastor do to prevent this?

And on a related note... I see many stories on the news where a man with this kind of past moves into a neighborhood, someone in the neighborhood finds out, they tell the neighborhood and the media, the people get outraged, and they run him out of Dodge. Where, exactly, are these people supposed to live?

Caedmon said:

I hope you all don't mind me participating here. I'm not here to debate, just to talk.I'm going to agree with you here, but there are some difficult issues that would result. He is going to receive a lot of rejection from people in the congregation. Most people will fear him. And sadly, a good number of these people will hate him. Some of them may even turn belligerent, abusing him verbally or possibly physically. What could a pastor do to prevent this?

And on a related note... I see many stories on the news where a man with this kind of past moves into a neighborhood, someone in the neighborhood finds out, they tell the neighborhood and the media, the people get outraged, and they run him out of Dodge. Where, exactly, are these people supposed to live?

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I agree with the first part. In the church, they should be welcomed. I believe the church membership should know. I also believe that a good way to counter this is for the pastor to preach on the ideas of forgiveness and acceptance of all people in the church shortly after the man arrives to soften the blow to the congregation. I believe that there will still be people that will be angry and they will probably leave the church. But, that is their problem and they will have to answer for their actions.

I firmly believe that any danger to a neighborhood should be disclosed. If a pedophile lives near me and I have children, then I want to know so I can protect my children. That is the role of the government, to protect. These pedophiles give up certain rights when they commit heinous crimes. Just as felons should not have firearms, pedophiles should not have privacy, as that is their way of attacking- secrecy. The people who run him out of dodge have to answer for their actions as well. And that should be dealt with by the police and government in the same way that exposure should be dealt with in regards to a pedophile's whereabouts.

Great post!
Jesus covers him with the same blood as He has covered us. No sin is too big for Him to forgive. This man deserves the chance to attend the "hospital for sinners" of his choice without the state's interference. I will echo others and say that since this brother is still in the flesh, he needs to not be allowed to be around children at all. I like what another poster stated in that this man should follow a set of rules set down by the pastor. In my little Utopia, all of the congregation would follow Jesus' lead and welcome him into fellowship with open arms and not pick up stones to cast at him. We all have sin and our sin is just as deadly to us as his is to him.

Two times I have dealt with this situation as an elder, the sad thing is, it was the same person both times. This is an area that a church constitution needs a clear, straight forward rule for one time offenders. Forgiveness is right, and commanded by God. To "forgive and forget" is a rule Satan gave us. You do not have to forget.

Mike

mesue said:

I'm an RN who works in a male maximum secuity prison in Upstate NY. This jail seems to have a lot of child rapists. I know that nobody is beyond God's reach, however, we all struggle with the flesh. Studies have been shown that child rapists have an extremely hard, almost impossible, time giving up their desires for children. I would not willingly expose my children to such a person. If such a man were to be allowed in the church every member would have the right to know. And this member should be forbidden to work with children under any circumstances. Not even with another adult present. There are so many other ways to serve that this should not even be an issue. If it does become an issue by this man, then, to me, this should be viewed as a big red flag. I know this may sound harsh, but I come from 10 years experience working with these men. We are held accountable to learn from history. This man has a history. The Church has a history.

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I agree with Mesue

There is so much Scripture that could be used in this discussion. All I have read so far are thoughts and opinions - some of which have Scriptural basis - but no one is backing up their statements with the Word of God.

This type of issue can be dealt with by a body of believers when the Word is examined and applied.

Two passages come to my mind that someone might want to expound on as they apply to this issue...

I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."

II Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

I agree with what everyone is saying... This man should not be kept out of church based on the mistakes of his past... However... It is a known fact that child molesters have a very difficult time changing their ways. As a result he obviously should not be allowed to serve in or associate with any Children's Ministry.

In Texas we have a Sex Offenders database that is maintained by the local law enforcement departments. Most are available via the internet and searchable by zipcode, offender name, etc... I would want to know if a sex offender was living in my neighborhood... and if he was going to be attending the same church that my daughter goes to Sunday school. Would I treat him any differently? No... Asside from the fact that I would not let my daughter be alone with him... or even around him.

We do have a responsibility as fellow believers to support all our brothers and sisters in Christ. This can be a very difficult situation.... Especially in a congregation where a child and their family has had to deal with a molester. But I believe that Jesus would expect us to welcome all believers with open arms, while still protecting our families AND the believer who has this history. Keeping the temptation away from him/her thereby helping to protect them from falling again. (There are women sex offenders as well, which was a shocking discovery I made when looking at our local Sex Offenders Registry)

Sin in the eyes of God is all equal. To lie is the same as to steal... which is seen in the same light as murder and rape. To God, sin is sin... I praise the Lord that His grace would allow any of us to be saved... We are all wretched in comparison to His holiness.

I also live in Washington State. In our church we have several law enforcement officers, including one Asst. Cheif of Police. I will definately check out what the law actually says and get back to you all.
On a personal note we have had a couple of instances within our own church body where men have made inappropriate sexual comments to some of our young girls. These men were asked to leave our church.
I know that may sound harsh to some of you, however I do know one thing about our state and probably many others. If they had been allowed to continue to fellowship in our church and if something more aggregious had happened our church would have been liable. Because we knowingly had allowed someone to continue who had exhibited the behavior before ( I am stating it badly but I am sure you know what I am saying).
So although we are to forgive we do not necessarily need to welcome with open arms...But I agree If someone is truly saved etc. There needs to be someplace for them to worship. so where is the line??? (It is hard to stay away from children in church. They are all over the place....)
I will get back to you on what the law states here in Washington.

Moma E said:

I know that may sound harsh to some of you, however I do know one thing about our state and probably many others. If they had been allowed to continue to fellowship in our church and if something more aggregious had happened our church would have been liable. Because we knowingly had allowed someone to continue who had exhibited the behavior before ( I am stating it badly but I am sure you know what I am saying).

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I think you stated it very clearly. And you do have a point... If the church knew about inappropriate behavior occurring between an adult and child (even if it was "just" verbally) then they do have a responsibility to act on it. And could be even be held legally responsible for failing to do so if something worse ends up happening that can be directly tied back to the prior inappropriate behavior.

If you apply the same situation to a more secular setting like a child care center (very similar to a Sunday School class from a legal system stand point) or even the public school system. If someone in one of those settings behaves inappropriately, they are dealt with immediately. If they were a visitor or parent they could expect to have criminal charges filed for indecency with a child or something similar. If they were employeed there, they are most likely terminated...

So if something HAPPENS at the church... Though it is a difficult situation... I believe that the offender should probably be forced to leave. And depending on the situation, even have law enforcement get involved.

As Christians we are expected to accept all... But we are not expected to endanger our families in that process. If someone is actively demonstrating inappropriate behavior, we have a responsibility to our children to protect them. Period.

Very difficult situation for a church family...

I think the point is being missed here. This man is NOT ALLOWED TO BE NEAR CHILDREN. There are going to be children in the worship service at church. Logically, we must come to the conclusion that the reason this man is not able to join in the worship service is because there are children there. It seems to me that this is the only reason that this man is not permitted in the worship service. Unless I am reading this wrong, the church is not necessarily barring him from worship, but from being in the presence of children. Because the children are in the worship service, he cannot join in.

P.S. This man is on Probation from the way I've read this. This is apparently not a permanent situation, but temporary for X amount of time. The State is not preventing this man from going to church, but only from being around children. My personal opinion is that the leaders and other men in the church should hold some sort of separate Bible study for this person until such a time as he is let off parole.

Dark Angel said:

P.S. This man is on Probation from the way I've read this. This is apparently not a permanent situation, but temporary for X amount of time. The State is not preventing this man from going to church, but only from being around children. My personal opinion is that the leaders and other men in the church should hold some sort of separate Bible study for this person until such a time as he is let off parole.

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Great point! And a valid solution to the problem.

rural_preacher said:

There is so much Scripture that could be used in this discussion. All I have read so far are thoughts and opinions - some of which have Scriptural basis - but no one is backing up their statements with the Word of God.

This type of issue can be dealt with by a body of believers when the Word is examined and applied.

Two passages come to my mind that someone might want to expound on as they apply to this issue...

I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."

II Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

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[bible]matthew 18:1-11[/bible]