Recent content by anteloperunner

I have experienced getting to the point where you know the next time you will go to far and that is part of what kept me away from it for 3 years. It is along the same thinking where you say one will be enough but it never is. I also understand not using the term "former cutter" due to the fact...

I played guitar. I mountain bike.

sorry Kristen it is hard to be nice to myself when i fell that far. How can you be compassionate allow tenderness when all I want to beat myself up. I mean it has only been 1 day now and im struggling and i know i wont make it past one of my triggers this week. :(

0 after making it 83...im such a failure and so stupid :cry:

What if the trigger is an entire day of the year? How do you deal with it? you cant spend the whole day excersing or doing distraction stuff. I have found a way to cope with almost all other triggers but this one.

Actually I don't know what area I want to work in, I have a job offer right now in one city and the one that I am going for a visit on has plants all over the world so i could possibly end up almost anywhere if I accept that job. That is sort of what bothers me, I dont handle change very well...

In May I will be graduating from university and accepting a job in another city, the closest job I am going through interviews for is 3 hours away with no traffic from where I live now this gives me a couple of issues that I'm struggling with, first is the fact the my counselor Jo is employed by...

i am a failure, im very close to being hospitalize for my weight. i just want to cut to get back in control. what is the point of not cutting if it will make me feel like this. i didn't cut last night but im not sure i have the strength or the will power to fight this much longer.

it as been 56 days now. but i'm tempted so much right now that im not sure i will make it though the night...i cant do this anymore... im a failure

19 days...almost 20

9 days...my goal is 75 days anything less than that is failure

6 days :sigh:

10 days Nobility :hug: thanks

4 days and it is already getting hard :sigh:

2 days...i think im ready to try and stop again