I have huge social anxiety. I get very nervous about going certain places or being singled out in a crowd of people...
Honestly I used to be the same way, and not in the same way as in "sometimes I get nervous speaking on stage" No, more like "I get nervous just sitting in a small group and having to state my name and briefly how I met Jesus so much so that I used to have a shaky voice and could barely complete a couple sentences!" This was no small case of anxiety, and this was back when I was about 22-23 years old, I am 30 now and much more confident. So how did I become confident? A few things happened but they were steps that definitely didn't take place in one day.
1.
The first thing was realizing I don't have to put myself in situations that make me nervous, I was in control, God willing, of where I was and what I did, so I didn't force myself to be in those uncomfortable situations any more, and if I did I chose when and I chose where.
2.
The second thing I knew was my worth, it didn't matter how nervous I got when in a public speaking or a social situation when I left that place wherever it was walking to my car or home I knew I was still me, I was still Gabe and my worth was in what God thought of me and no one else mattered.
3.
Third was faith. Sounds repeated a lot but having faith that Jesus was with and around me and no matter where I was He was there too regardless of if I could see Him, and He wants the best for His flock. Faith that He was giving me strength to speak up when need be.
4.
Fourth and last was something I had to realize but I learned this later when I was 29 and that
was that you actually don't HAVE to talk every time you think you do. I remembered in my past when people would look at me and there was a moment of silence I thought I would have to fill it, or that they needed a further explanation of things. I also remember at meetings for work being so nervous that I would have to talk that I had pre-typed everything I was gonna say to keep from being nervous. Later I realized when I turned the tables and kept eye contact with people (still struggle with that part) or at least didn't speak when there was a silence or pause in the conversation and just held my ground,
THE OTHER PERSON actually would feel the way I did and they started to fill the silence unnecessarily. So I learned to be a lot more empathetic and understanding and reassuring that people don't need to share everything with me.
THE BOTTOM LINE WAS: I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO TALK, NOT AT MEETINGS OR SOCIAL EVENTS, I GET TO CHOOSE WHEN I TALK AND WHAT I SHARE AND THAT'S PERFECTLY OK.
