Finding Fellowship

[ChiRho77]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am desperate. I have felt increasingly alone in my faith (I live in the US). I came to faith in college (raised agnostic), awed by the beauty of Christ in the gospels. I became a leader with a campus ministry. My two closest friends were part of that community as well. It has now been over five years since graduating, and those close friends are not now following Christ (though I am still close with them). I have felt that it is increasingly hard to belong in a church. And over a few years I noticed my conception of Christ shrinking at times, sometimes seeing him as at least the greatest life to have been lived, but unsure of what more and whether there was actual power (I think this was rooted in seeing a disconnect between my experience of reality and what I saw in the New Testament).

But I saw what I was becoming without Christ and the Church—I began to look a lot like my high school self, only with more awareness that something was wrong. Greater apathy. Addictions to video games and occasional watching of pornography. Deep anxiety when not distracting myself. Selfish ambition. Inability to focus on work I believed was good (I went to law school hoping to help indigent people as Christ emphasized loving the poor... I always loved theology and nearly went to seminary, but I feared I would intellectualize my faith and wanted to live it out more practically—this is no comment on people in ministry... many do wonderful things in living out their faith, but this is how I saw it for myself).

It got to a low point last summer (was interning in a different state), but I had this sense I needed to go to a church. And I went, and someone prayed for me there, and I had this sense all I needed to do was seek the kingdom and all its righteousness, and all would be added to me. It was freeing. Such grace, and my anxiety fled. And it was understanding how badly I need Christ that has resolved my doubts (if that makes sense). I was able to cut those damaging things from my life and felt this sense of beauty all around me. Absent community, however, I’ve found myself fading again, choked by thorny soil.

But I don’t know what it is, I just find myself longing for more than any church I’ve been apart of. I can’t tell whether it’s some unhealthy disenchantment/novelty seeking (though I have stuck with a church for a decently long time before, about 4 years), or some deeper and good yearning. I find myself wanting something on the edge... something that feels like greater reliance on Christ, that is riskier. I get excited reading about the faith of people who are persecuted. I don’t want to be persecuted, but I want their faith. I know none of these things make me right with God, nor are they the point, but I’m looking for consistent rigorous fasting and prayer, deep immersion in scripture—perhaps all through the night on occasion. But I find I’m too weak on my own. I give in quickly in all of these practices (to use an early Church term, I’m “flabby”) most of the time. And so many churches almost seemed designed around busyness and baby steps (at best)... make sure nothing takes more than an hour, almost as if they’re trying to appeal to people and say, see, it’s not that hard, come on in and get comfy (and often likely out of a good place—wanting to welcome and love the stranger and the broken rather than condemn them like maybe they have been before or done to themselves).

But that comfort is soul-sucking to me. There’s a sense of adventure I get from reading the Bible that is inextricable from the cost of discipleship. I yearn for even one brother or sister to be with me and struggle. Someone to challenge me. Someone in the hole with me, and I with them. Not weekly but daily. People go home and make dinner or watch shows or play games every day; surely we could do more for one another to spur each other on towards the prize.

I guess part of this is a deep anxiety over loneliness and singleness, too. I’m unmarried and I feel hammered by longing every day, and I don’t live with other Christ-followers, either. I guess when I go to bed I just feel like there’s no one really there with me.

If anyone knows of people out there (preferably in the US) who are sprinting, let me know. Or maybe I’m seeing things wrong.

 

[Sabertooth]

Hello & welcome @ChiRho77.

I would recommend looking into these churches,

• Vineyard,
• Assembly of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)

 

[BobRyan]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am desperate. I have felt increasingly alone in my faith (I live in the US). I came to faith in college (raised agnostic), awed by the beauty of Christ in the gospels. I became a leader with a campus ministry. My two closest friends were part of that community as well. It has now been over five years since graduating, and those close friends are not now following Christ (though I am still close with them). I have felt that it is increasingly hard to belong in a church. And over a few years I noticed my conception of Christ shrinking at times, sometimes seeing him as at least the greatest life to have been lived, but unsure of what more and whether there was actual power (I think this was rooted in seeing a disconnect between my experience of reality and what I saw in the New Testament).

But I saw what I was becoming without Christ and the Church—I began to look a lot like my high school self, only with more awareness that something was wrong. Greater apathy. Addictions to video games and occasional watching of pornography. Deep anxiety when not distracting myself. Selfish ambition. Inability to focus on work I believed was good (I went to law school hoping to help indigent people as Christ emphasized loving the poor... I always loved theology and nearly went to seminary, but I feared I would intellectualize my faith and wanted to live it out more practically—this is no comment on people in ministry... many do wonderful things in living out their faith, but this is how I saw it for myself).

It got to a low point last summer (was interning in a different state), but I had this sense I needed to go to a church. And I went, and someone prayed for me there, and I had this sense all I needed to do was seek the kingdom and all its righteousness, and all would be added to me. It was freeing. Such grace, and my anxiety fled. And it was understanding how badly I need Christ that has resolved my doubts (if that makes sense). I was able to cut those damaging things from my life and felt this sense of beauty all around me. Absent community, however, I’ve found myself fading again, choked by thorny soil.

But I don’t know what it is, I just find myself longing for more than any church I’ve been apart of. I can’t tell whether it’s some unhealthy disenchantment/novelty seeking (though I have stuck with a church for a decently long time before, about 4 years), or some deeper and good yearning. I find myself wanting something on the edge... something that feels like greater reliance on Christ, that is riskier. I get excited reading about the faith of people who are persecuted. I don’t want to be persecuted, but I want their faith. I know none of these things make me right with God, nor are they the point, but I’m looking for consistent rigorous fasting and prayer, deep immersion in scripture—perhaps all through the night on occasion. But I find I’m too weak on my own. I give in quickly in all of these practices (to use an early Church term, I’m “flabby”) most of the time. And so many churches almost seemed designed around busyness and baby steps (at best)... make sure nothing takes more than an hour, almost as if they’re trying to appeal to people and say, see, it’s not that hard, come on in and get comfy (and often likely out of a good place—wanting to welcome and love the stranger and the broken rather than condemn them like maybe they have been before or done to themselves).

But that comfort is soul-sucking to me. There’s a sense of adventure I get from reading the Bible that is inextricable from the cost of discipleship. I yearn for even one brother or sister to be with me and struggle. Someone to challenge me. Someone in the hole with me, and I with them. Not weekly but daily. People go home and make dinner or watch shows or play games every day; surely we could do more for one another to spur each other on towards the prize.

I guess part of this is a deep anxiety over loneliness and singleness, too. I’m unmarried and I feel hammered by longing every day, and I don’t live with other Christ-followers, either. I guess when I go to bed I just feel like there’s no one really there with me.

If anyone knows of people out there (preferably in the US) who are sprinting, let me know. Or maybe I’m seeing things wrong.

Welcome.

You should join whatever church you believe is being true to the doctrines found in scripture. Heb 10 says not to forsake the assembling of yourselves together. Take that to heart.

Here is an amazing free online world-class amazing commentary on the life of Christ - that may be right up your ally based on what you have written.. My family and I have read it many times.

The Desire of Ages - God with us

The Desire of Ages — 87 chapters

 

[Pioneer3mm]

Welcome to CF.
---
More of His grace to you..
& doors to open for..'genuine spiritual/Christian' fellowship.

Blessings,

 

[dqhall]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am desperate. I have felt increasingly alone in my faith (I live in the US). I came to faith in college (raised agnostic), awed by the beauty of Christ in the gospels. I became a leader with a campus ministry. My two closest friends were part of that community as well. It has now been over five years since graduating, and those close friends are not now following Christ (though I am still close with them). I have felt that it is increasingly hard to belong in a church. And over a few years I noticed my conception of Christ shrinking at times, sometimes seeing him as at least the greatest life to have been lived, but unsure of what more and whether there was actual power (I think this was rooted in seeing a disconnect between my experience of reality and what I saw in the New Testament).

But I saw what I was becoming without Christ and the Church—I began to look a lot like my high school self, only with more awareness that something was wrong. Greater apathy. Addictions to video games and occasional watching of pornography. Deep anxiety when not distracting myself. Selfish ambition. Inability to focus on work I believed was good (I went to law school hoping to help indigent people as Christ emphasized loving the poor... I always loved theology and nearly went to seminary, but I feared I would intellectualize my faith and wanted to live it out more practically—this is no comment on people in ministry... many do wonderful things in living out their faith, but this is how I saw it for myself).

It got to a low point last summer (was interning in a different state), but I had this sense I needed to go to a church. And I went, and someone prayed for me there, and I had this sense all I needed to do was seek the kingdom and all its righteousness, and all would be added to me. It was freeing. Such grace, and my anxiety fled. And it was understanding how badly I need Christ that has resolved my doubts (if that makes sense). I was able to cut those damaging things from my life and felt this sense of beauty all around me. Absent community, however, I’ve found myself fading again, choked by thorny soil.

But I don’t know what it is, I just find myself longing for more than any church I’ve been apart of. I can’t tell whether it’s some unhealthy disenchantment/novelty seeking (though I have stuck with a church for a decently long time before, about 4 years), or some deeper and good yearning. I find myself wanting something on the edge... something that feels like greater reliance on Christ, that is riskier. I get excited reading about the faith of people who are persecuted. I don’t want to be persecuted, but I want their faith. I know none of these things make me right with God, nor are they the point, but I’m looking for consistent rigorous fasting and prayer, deep immersion in scripture—perhaps all through the night on occasion. But I find I’m too weak on my own. I give in quickly in all of these practices (to use an early Church term, I’m “flabby”) most of the time. And so many churches almost seemed designed around busyness and baby steps (at best)... make sure nothing takes more than an hour, almost as if they’re trying to appeal to people and say, see, it’s not that hard, come on in and get comfy (and often likely out of a good place—wanting to welcome and love the stranger and the broken rather than condemn them like maybe they have been before or done to themselves).

But that comfort is soul-sucking to me. There’s a sense of adventure I get from reading the Bible that is inextricable from the cost of discipleship. I yearn for even one brother or sister to be with me and struggle. Someone to challenge me. Someone in the hole with me, and I with them. Not weekly but daily. People go home and make dinner or watch shows or play games every day; surely we could do more for one another to spur each other on towards the prize.

I guess part of this is a deep anxiety over loneliness and singleness, too. I’m unmarried and I feel hammered by longing every day, and I don’t live with other Christ-followers, either. I guess when I go to bed I just feel like there’s no one really there with me.

If anyone knows of people out there (preferably in the US) who are sprinting, let me know. Or maybe I’m seeing things wrong.

You might try visiting from church to church or some dating app. Write to them about your life and your desire for a partner. Ask them what their desires are. You might learn more about others and yourself. Be honest with them and not manipulative. Avoid fornication. Avoid homosexuality.

 

[aiki]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am desperate. I have felt increasingly alone in my faith (I live in the US). I came to faith in college (raised agnostic), awed by the beauty of Christ in the gospels. I became a leader with a campus ministry. My two closest friends were part of that community as well. It has now been over five years since graduating, and those close friends are not now following Christ (though I am still close with them). I have felt that it is increasingly hard to belong in a church. And over a few years I noticed my conception of Christ shrinking at times, sometimes seeing him as at least the greatest life to have been lived, but unsure of what more and whether there was actual power (I think this was rooted in seeing a disconnect between my experience of reality and what I saw in the New Testament).

This is always sad to hear, but so common at the same time. It's sad because what you've written about yourself and your friends indicates that you haven't really had yet the transformative experience of God that is the normal Christian life. Many claiming the title of Christian haven't. This is in part because the Gospel has been incredibly distorted and watered down and/or because discipleship did not occur.

But I saw what I was becoming without Christ and the Church—I began to look a lot like my high school self, only with more awareness that something was wrong. Greater apathy. Addictions to video games and occasional watching of pornography. Deep anxiety when not distracting myself. Selfish ambition. Inability to focus on work I believed was good (I went to law school hoping to help indigent people as Christ emphasized loving the poor... I always loved theology and nearly went to seminary, but I feared I would intellectualize my faith and wanted to live it out more practically—this is no comment on people in ministry... many do wonderful things in living out their faith, but this is how I saw it for myself).

This is, the Bible warns, the path of those who are not walking rightly with God. Too often these days, before a solid relational foundation with God is established, Christians attempt to serve God, to minister on His behalf. And because they haven't the proper grounding in Christ and God's word, which is not just a matter of knowledge but of time lived in transformative fellowship with God, their service is of the flesh, it is an expression of Self-effort, and so, fundamentally corrupt. (Galatians 6:7; Romans 8:5-8) This sort of effort always ends in exhaustion, spiritual drifting, and moral compromise.

It got to a low point last summer (was interning in a different state), but I had this sense I needed to go to a church. And I went, and someone prayed for me there, and I had this sense all I needed to do was seek the kingdom and all its righteousness, and all would be added to me. It was freeing. Such grace, and my anxiety fled. And it was understanding how badly I need Christ that has resolved my doubts (if that makes sense). I was able to cut those damaging things from my life and felt this sense of beauty all around me. Absent community, however, I’ve found myself fading again, choked by thorny soil.

"Seek the kingdom"? Hmm...This is the effect of finding Christ, of knowing him and walking with him; it isn't actually an end in itself, or the essence of Christian living. I'm curious: How were you "able to cut the damaging things from my life"?

But I don’t know what it is, I just find myself longing for more than any church I’ve been apart of. I can’t tell whether it’s some unhealthy disenchantment/novelty seeking (though I have stuck with a church for a decently long time before, about 4 years), or some deeper and good yearning. I find myself wanting something on the edge... something that feels like greater reliance on Christ, that is riskier. I get excited reading about the faith of people who are persecuted. I don’t want to be persecuted, but I want their faith. I know none of these things make me right with God, nor are they the point, but I’m looking for consistent rigorous fasting and prayer, deep immersion in scripture—perhaps all through the night on occasion. But I find I’m too weak on my own.

Yup. God is determined that, sooner or later, we come to understand what Paul declared about himself:

Romans 7:18
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

What was true of Paul is true of us all. In-and-of ourselves, we have nothing good upon which to draw in fulfilling God's will. There is, apart from God, only our flesh, our selfish, sin-prone Self, that only produces corruption and death. It can't be made to serve God, to kneel in humble submission and dependence before Him.

Romans 8:7-8
7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.
8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

We can always tell when we are working from the basis of Self, from the flesh, because we only end up with a greater knowledge of our own power (or lack thereof), and find ourselves depleted and wandering from God. And the things that Self produces are always corrupt, too, opposed by God, in fact, because the work of Self is, at bottom, focused on Self, not God.

Anyway, in God's economy of things, we must be before we do; we must be in settled, mature fellowship with God, co-crucified with Christ in condition as well as position, a living sacrifice throughout every day, and THEN we are "vessels sanctified and meet for the Master's use." (Romans 6:13-22; Romans 12:1; Galatians 2:20; etc.) The adventure of the Christian life is in being transformed by the Holy Spirit and in this transformation encountering God. The by-product of being daily transformed by the Spirit will, eventually, be some form of service to God, but such service happens on His terms, on His schedule, not ours. Moses was eighty before God put him to the work of leading the Jews from Egypt. It was nearly twenty years from the time Joseph was thrown into a pit by his brothers to the moment he was made second in authority to Pharaoh in Egypt. Paul was also nearly twenty years in a process of preparation by God before he was sent out as the apostle to the Gentiles. God isn't always in a terrible rush to get us doing; He wants us being first - being in daily, intimate communion with Himself and out of that rich, joyful communion, living to His glory.

But that comfort is soul-sucking to me. There’s a sense of adventure I get from reading the Bible that is inextricable from the cost of discipleship. I yearn for even one brother or sister to be with me and struggle. Someone to challenge me. Someone in the hole with me, and I with them. Not weekly but daily. People go home and make dinner or watch shows or play games every day; surely we could do more for one another to spur each other on towards the prize.

What you're talking about is, essentially, discipleship. Sadly, terribly, discipleship rarely happens anymore these days in the western Church. Oh, there are lots of Bible studies masquerading as discipleship but they aren't the same thing, really, at all. Discipleship is a mature believer "getting in the hole" with you and walking with you through the daily circumstances of life, demonstrating, as well as teaching, what it is to know, and fellowship with, and serve God. This requires the believer to have something real, something deep, with God into which they can help lead you; this requires that they open up their life to your inspection, so that you can see the relationship between what they teach and what they do; this requires a self-sacrificial investment in the one being discipled. And so, discipleship doesn't happen. It's too...real, I guess? And there are too few spiritually capable of actual discipleship, whose lives would stand up to close scrutiny.

Like me, you may have to become what you wish others would be for you: a discipler. No one discipled me in any sort of formal way, except, perhaps my father. Instead, God taught me and brought me deeper into communion with Himself. It was a decades-long process, though, during which I sometimes felt "put on the shelf" by God. I often wonder if a proper season of being discipled would have abbreviated the process. I suspect so.

I guess part of this is a deep anxiety over loneliness and singleness, too. I’m unmarried and I feel hammered by longing every day, and I don’t live with other Christ-followers, either. I guess when I go to bed I just feel like there’s no one really there with me.

Ah. I understand. I didn't marry 'til I was 39. I'd have married in my early twenties if mere desire for marriage had been enough to be married. I didn't encounter my wife, though, until God brought me to the place with Him where I could be fully content just with Him, never to be married, if that was what He willed. I wrestled pretty fiercely with this issue. The peace and rest, though, of settling content in my Maker was wonderful! And put me in a place spiritually that has been an enormous boon to my marriage.

God is there. Always. It seems you have yet to know Him such that this is a reality that dispels the need for the marriage state. But, by His grace, one day you will. What sort of a husband will you be, do you think, if God Himself cannot satisfy you? No woman will be able to do so. And this reality will sink its teeth deeply and painfully into you, if you think otherwise.

Marriage is God's institution, resting upon Himself. And so, the better you are connected to God, the better your marriage will be. Focus on being a man worthy of a godly woman. The rest will sort itself out.

If anyone knows of people out there (preferably in the US) who are sprinting, let me know. Or maybe I’m seeing things wrong.

I'm a Canadian, living in Canada, and know of no one in the States who is "sprinting" and able to fold you into their life as a discipler. But, there are some godly men whose teaching you would benefit from:

www.ttb.org
www.insight.org
www.intouch.org
www.str.org
www.reasonablefaith.org

 

[ChiRho77]

"Seek the kingdom"? Hmm...This is the effect of finding Christ, of knowing him and walking with him; it isn't actually an end in itself, or the essence of Christian living. I'm curious: How were you "able to cut the damaging things from my life"?

What exactly are you referring to with "This" and "it" here? The seeking, or what occurred? Just to clarify.

Well, honestly, it was more that I didn't really desire the damaging things any more. I did not make some huge effort to cut them out (generally such efforts have never really worked for an extended period... rather, greater intimacy with Christ makes other things less desirable). Rather, I felt content in Christ.

It was nearly twenty years from the time Joseph was thrown into a pit by his brothers to the moment he was made second in authority to Pharaoh in Egypt. Paul was also nearly twenty years in a process of preparation by God before he was sent out as the apostle to the Gentiles. God isn't always in a terrible rush to get us doing; He wants us being first - being in daily, intimate communion with Himself and out of that rich, joyful communion, living to His glory.

Ah, good! This is encouraging.

Like me, you may have to become what you wish others would be for you: a discipler. No one discipled me in any sort of formal way, except, perhaps my father. Instead, God taught me and brought me deeper into communion with Himself. It was a decades-long process, though, during which I sometimes felt "put on the shelf" by God. I often wonder if a proper season of being discipled would have abbreviated the process. I suspect so.

What did this process look like for you?

Ah. I understand. I didn't marry 'til I was 39. I'd have married in my early twenties if mere desire for marriage had been enough to be married. I didn't encounter my wife, though, until God brought me to the place with Him where I could be fully content just with Him, never to be married, if that was what He willed. I wrestled pretty fiercely with this issue. The peace and rest, though, of settling content in my Maker was wonderful! And put me in a place spiritually that has been an enormous boon to my marriage.

God is there. Always. It seems you have yet to know Him such that this is a reality that dispels the need for the marriage state. But, by His grace, one day you will. What sort of a husband will you be, do you think, if God Himself cannot satisfy you? No woman will be able to do so. And this reality will sink its teeth deeply and painfully into you, if you think otherwise.

Marriage is God's institution, resting upon Himself. And so, the better you are connected to God, the better your marriage will be. Focus on being a man worthy of a godly woman. The rest will sort itself out.

I appreciate this. I understand this intellectually very much. Indeed, I look at Christ, and Paul, and the best man I've ever known, and all of them were single. I know marriage is not necessary for a good life and not necessary to be content. I know a woman cannot satisfy me. I've prayed many a time that God would not let me be married until I was leaning on Him fully... and I thank God that it has never worked out in the past. It is more so just that a feeling hammers me, and I feel so anxious, and it is worse when not walking with God.

And thanks for the links!

 

[Hazelelponi]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I am desperate. I have felt increasingly alone in my faith (I live in the US). I came to faith in college (raised agnostic), awed by the beauty of Christ in the gospels. I became a leader with a campus ministry. My two closest friends were part of that community as well. It has now been over five years since graduating, and those close friends are not now following Christ (though I am still close with them). I have felt that it is increasingly hard to belong in a church. And over a few years I noticed my conception of Christ shrinking at times, sometimes seeing him as at least the greatest life to have been lived, but unsure of what more and whether there was actual power (I think this was rooted in seeing a disconnect between my experience of reality and what I saw in the New Testament).

But I saw what I was becoming without Christ and the Church—I began to look a lot like my high school self, only with more awareness that something was wrong. Greater apathy. Addictions to video games and occasional watching of pornography. Deep anxiety when not distracting myself. Selfish ambition. Inability to focus on work I believed was good (I went to law school hoping to help indigent people as Christ emphasized loving the poor... I always loved theology and nearly went to seminary, but I feared I would intellectualize my faith and wanted to live it out more practically—this is no comment on people in ministry... many do wonderful things in living out their faith, but this is how I saw it for myself).

It got to a low point last summer (was interning in a different state), but I had this sense I needed to go to a church. And I went, and someone prayed for me there, and I had this sense all I needed to do was seek the kingdom and all its righteousness, and all would be added to me. It was freeing. Such grace, and my anxiety fled. And it was understanding how badly I need Christ that has resolved my doubts (if that makes sense). I was able to cut those damaging things from my life and felt this sense of beauty all around me. Absent community, however, I’ve found myself fading again, choked by thorny soil.

But I don’t know what it is, I just find myself longing for more than any church I’ve been apart of. I can’t tell whether it’s some unhealthy disenchantment/novelty seeking (though I have stuck with a church for a decently long time before, about 4 years), or some deeper and good yearning. I find myself wanting something on the edge... something that feels like greater reliance on Christ, that is riskier. I get excited reading about the faith of people who are persecuted. I don’t want to be persecuted, but I want their faith. I know none of these things make me right with God, nor are they the point, but I’m looking for consistent rigorous fasting and prayer, deep immersion in scripture—perhaps all through the night on occasion. But I find I’m too weak on my own. I give in quickly in all of these practices (to use an early Church term, I’m “flabby”) most of the time. And so many churches almost seemed designed around busyness and baby steps (at best)... make sure nothing takes more than an hour, almost as if they’re trying to appeal to people and say, see, it’s not that hard, come on in and get comfy (and often likely out of a good place—wanting to welcome and love the stranger and the broken rather than condemn them like maybe they have been before or done to themselves).

But that comfort is soul-sucking to me. There’s a sense of adventure I get from reading the Bible that is inextricable from the cost of discipleship. I yearn for even one brother or sister to be with me and struggle. Someone to challenge me. Someone in the hole with me, and I with them. Not weekly but daily. People go home and make dinner or watch shows or play games every day; surely we could do more for one another to spur each other on towards the prize.

I guess part of this is a deep anxiety over loneliness and singleness, too. I’m unmarried and I feel hammered by longing every day, and I don’t live with other Christ-followers, either. I guess when I go to bed I just feel like there’s no one really there with me.

If anyone knows of people out there (preferably in the US) who are sprinting, let me know. Or maybe I’m seeing things wrong.

If you want the kind of unshakable faith such that the persecuted have, know that you don't have to be persecuted to have it.

But it's not adventurous or exciting perse. It's simply learning to hang on to Christ and all His promises no matter how you feel, no matter what is going on all around you.

Most people get their faith shaken when they don't "feel" God. However, you don't need to feel God to know He is with you, all around you, helping you as you go because we know His promises are true, and God is unchanging, ever faithful even if we are not.

Feelings are subjective, anything in life can affect the way we feel at any given time - so you can't rely on your own feelings, but you can rely on God no matter what your feelings are. God wants the strength of your faith to be faith in His promises, faith in His Word.

Just be as steadfast as He is steadfast. Realize He is a God of His Word and is with you, because He says He is. When you know this truth in the depth of your soul, then you will have the same unshakable faith...

 

[aiki]

What exactly are you referring to with "This" and "it" here? The seeking, or what occurred? Just to clarify.

The seeking.

Well, honestly, it was more that I didn't really desire the damaging things any more. I did not make some huge effort to cut them out (generally such efforts have never really worked for an extended period... rather, greater intimacy with Christ makes other things less desirable). Rather, I felt content in Christ.

What did this process look like for you?

Difficult. Often painful. Plagued by confusion and frustration. Though, in the end, this challenging process has "yielded the peaceable fruit of righteousness." Peter has well-described how it's been for me:

1 Peter 5:10-11
10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.

I appreciate this. I understand this intellectually very much. Indeed, I look at Christ, and Paul, and the best man I've ever known, and all of them were single. I know marriage is not necessary for a good life and not necessary to be content. I know a woman cannot satisfy me. I've prayed many a time that God would not let me be married until I was leaning on Him fully... and I thank God that it has never worked out in the past. It is more so just that a feeling hammers me, and I feel so anxious, and it is worse when not walking with God.

Yup. I can sympathize.

And thanks for the links!

You're welcome. The first of them is the one I most heartily endorse. I hope they'll be of value to you.

 

[1watchman]

Hello Chi Rho! You seem to be a seeker after the truth of God. You can write me personally at the Conversation page on CF here and we can chat. I know of some saints of God where you live there.
--1watchman