Further request for handicapped sister, and for me.

[LoricaLady]

To recap, my wheelchair bound, and mentally disturbed, sister in another state slapped someone in her H.U.D. apartment building because of his obscene and menacing remarks to her. Of course she should’ve just reported the behavior, but she often acts irrationally.

The management there decided to evict her. She’s going to court on the 24th to fight that.

She doesn’t save money. For example she spent all of her stimulus checks on things that were not at all necessary and was hinting around to see if I had any stimulus money to give her of my own. She does have a social worker who is trying to help, and gets a lot of help for physical needs through Medicare and Medicaid.
But I don’t think those would help her with moving expenses and a security deposit.

I am at a loss as to what to do, if anything, to help her. She is so incredibly verbally abusive. For example she has told me that our mother should have aborted me, and recently said that she hoped my daughter would die.

Because of her abuse there’s really no family or anyone to help her if she needs it. I can’t afford to take her on as a dependent. I figure even if I do give her some financial help that it will be just pouring good money after bad, since her antics and hostility seem to increase more and more overtime to people in general and seem possibly to likely just cause her similar problems in the future.

No doubt she is concerned about becoming homeless.

I have been praying for things to go well for her in court. I have been praying to know what, if anything to do to help her. Basically, honestly, I really don’t want anything to do with her anymore.

It seems I have nothing to offer her. She really doesn’t want love or a true family relationship. Though she would be very happy to take any money! She just wants to use and abuse and make excuses for all of it.

I know she has a sickness, in fact a sickness like my mothers who is now deceased. Again, I don’t know what, if anything, to do for her. And I haven’t heard from the Lord about this in response to my queries.

She has had periodic bouts of suicidal feelings since a young adult. Since this is the most challenging time of her life, I am concerned about that too. She has darkly hinted that she might do something like that.

Please pray for me to know what, if anything, to do.

Oh, and one other thing, which I know animal lovers won’t think is trivial. Whatever happens, I pray, and ask you to pray too please, that her years- long rescue cat, Cammie, will not wind up out on the streets or any place bad.

Sorry this is so long!

 

[Tigger45]

Prayer for your wisdom, your sister’s peace and Cammie’s well being

 

[Jeff11]

You tried public housing specifically for the disabled?

 

[LoricaLady]

You tried public housing specifically for the disabled?

I am not exactly sure what the arrangement is with my sister in regard to her apartment building. As mentioned, it is associated with H.U.D. so I assume that means her monthly fees are lower than average.

But she does have to pay rent out of her Medicare and or Medicaid allotment.

As far as any other social agencies helping her, I’m sure her social worker will know all about any such. Again, I don’t think they are going to be able to give her the money for moving and a security deposit, based on comments she has made in the past.

It is hard to know what is true with her because she’s a pathological liar frankly. So I wouldn’t even bother to try to find out. Plus, interacting with her is so unpleasant I don’t want to.

 

[Jeff11]

I am not exactly sure what the arrangement is with my sister in regard to her apartment building. As mentioned, it is associated with H.U.D. so I assume that means her monthly fees are lower than average.

But she does have to pay rent out of her Medicare and or Medicaid allotment.

As far as any other social agencies helping her, I’m sure her social worker will know all about any such. Again, I don’t think they are going to be able to give her the money for moving and a security deposit, based on comments she has made in the past.

It is hard to know what is true with her because she’s a pathological liar frankly. So I wouldn’t even bother to try to find out. Plus, interacting with her is so unpleasant I don’t want to.

My mother used to manage an apartment complex for the disabled there is specific housing subsidized by the government for people on disability

 

[LoricaLady]

My mother used to manage an apartment complex for the disabled there is specific housing subsidized by the government for people on disability

Yes, I know. But, again, I don’t think that specific housing subsidized by the government pays for things like moving expenses, and security deposits. If I am wrong, please let me know.

 

[Jeff11]

Yes, I know. But, again, I don’t think that specific housing subsidized by the government pays for things like moving expenses, and security deposits. If I am wrong, please let me know.

No they don’t but if you’re on disability and you’re getting subsidize housing you should be able to pay your rent.

 

[LoricaLady]

No they don’t but if you’re on disability and you’re getting subsidize housing you should be able to pay your rent.

She is paying her rent and she will be able to pay her rent if she moves someplace else, but if she doesn’t have any kind of finances for moving expenses and for security deposit, then no one will let her rent..

 

[returntosender]

To recap, my wheelchair bound, and mentally disturbed, sister in another state slapped someone in her H.U.D. apartment building because of his obscene and menacing remarks to her. Of course she should’ve just reported the behavior, but she often acts irrationally.

The management there decided to evict her. She’s going to court on the 24th to fight that.

She doesn’t save money. For example she spent all of her stimulus checks on things that were not at all necessary and was hinting around to see if I had any stimulus money to give her of my own. She does have a social worker who is trying to help, and gets a lot of help for physical needs through Medicare and Medicaid.
But I don’t think those would help her with moving expenses and a security deposit.

I am at a loss as to what to do, if anything, to help her. She is so incredibly verbally abusive. For example she has told me that our mother should have aborted me, and recently said that she hoped my daughter would die.

Because of her abuse there’s really no family or anyone to help her if she needs it. I can’t afford to take her on as a dependent. I figure even if I do give her some financial help that it will be just pouring good money after bad, since her antics and hostility seem to increase more and more overtime to people in general and seem possibly to likely just cause her similar problems in the future.

No doubt she is concerned about becoming homeless.

I have been praying for things to go well for her in court. I have been praying to know what, if anything to do to help her. Basically, honestly, I really don’t want anything to do with her anymore.

It seems I have nothing to offer her. She really doesn’t want love or a true family relationship. Though she would be very happy to take any money! She just wants to use and abuse and make excuses for all of it.

I know she has a sickness, in fact a sickness like my mothers who is now deceased. Again, I don’t know what, if anything, to do for her. And I haven’t heard from the Lord about this in response to my queries.

She has had periodic bouts of suicidal feelings since a young adult. Since this is the most challenging time of her life, I am concerned about that too. She has darkly hinted that she might do something like that.

Please pray for me to know what, if anything, to do.

Oh, and one other thing, which I know animal lovers won’t think is trivial. Whatever happens, I pray, and ask you to pray too please, that her years- long rescue cat, Cammie, will not wind up out on the streets or any place bad.

Sorry this is so long!

She's blessed to have you and I have no doubt she loves you in her own way.
You are very special to withstand that kind of treatment. God certainly knew what he was doing putting you in her life. I hope you maintain your love and strength for her.
Prayers for you both.

 

[returntosender]

She's blessed to have you and I have no doubt she loves you in her own way.
You are very special to withstand that kind of treatment. God certainly knew what he was doing putting you in her life. I hope you maintain your love and strength for her.
Prayers for you both.

PS
you might want to reconsider bailing her out financially. She needs to learn to manage on her own. In the long term you're not helping her.

 

[Jeff11]

She is paying her rent and she will be able to pay her rent if she moves someplace else, but if she doesn’t have any kind of finances for moving expenses and for security deposit, then no one will let her rent..

Government housing would allow her to rent

 

[LoricaLady]

PS
you might want to reconsider bailing her out financially. She needs to learn to manage on her own. In the long term you're not helping her.

Yes so far I agree with you. I feel that if I help her out I will just be an enabler. If the Lord leads me differently, and so far he is not, I will reconsider.

 

[LoricaLady]

Government housing would allow her to rent

We seem to be having a miscommunication. I thought I made it clear that she has the money for rent, but that the issue would be moving expenses and a security deposit for a new place.

 

[Jeff11]

The rent varies depending on income level. If she can’t make her rent or pay her deposit and in subsidize housing with disability income she’s really beyond help because there’s more than enough money to be able to do that.

 

[Jeff11]

The other suggestion I would make is to move to a more rural area where the rent is actually going to be cheaper. Like I said it’s a sliding scale based on your income and cost of living. More rural areas will be cheaper. As far as making a deposit and moving expenses she’s obviously mismanaged her money because there is money to do that and pay your rent

 

[LoricaLady]

She’s definitely mismanaged her money.

 

[returntosender]

PS
you might want to reconsider bailing her out financially. She needs to learn to manage on her own. In the long term you're not helping her.

I said that wrong but I think you understood. I meant stop bailing her out. I've found in my own experience most will find a way to manage if they have to..

 

[bèlla]

If she’s evicted she may have difficulty obtaining another subsidy. HUD covers the remainder of the rent once her portion is paid. Whether it’s site based or a voucher is immaterial. The resources come from the same source and information is verified through government agencies.

Violence is usually an automatic eviction. Even in tenant friendly states. She’d have to pay market rent or move into assisted living. The latter may be best given her condition.

May God give you strength and wisdom.

~bella

 

[LoricaLady]

I said that wrong but I think you understood. I meant stop bailing her out. I've found in my own experience most will find a way to manage if they have to..

Yes I understood exactly what you meant, and agreed.
Again, I don’t want to be an enabler.

Since she is so over-the-top abusive, I would feel like I would be enabling her not only financially, but reinforcing in her the idea that she gets to treat people anyway she wants with no consequences.

I have prayed quite a few times to know what if anything I should do. You know the Lord is so great at correcting people! Yet so far I haven’t heard any correction on this.

Thanks for your interest and support.

 

[LoricaLady]

If she’s evicted she may have difficulty obtaining another subsidy. HUD covers the remainder of the rent once her portion is paid. Whether it’s site based or a voucher is immaterial. The resources come from the same source and information is verified through government agencies.

Violence is usually an automatic eviction. Even in tenant friendly states. She’d have to pay market rent or move into assisted living. The latter may be best given her condition.

May God give you strength and wisdom.

~bella

Thanks so much for all the useful information. It sounds like she has a last ditch option in assisted living. I hope they take cats!