I am new to this forum and have sought it out to ask for advice and insight from others who may have similar experiences. My parents divorced about 3 years ago, initiated by my dad, after about 34 years of marriage. I knew my parents weren’t always happy with each other, but found out after the divorce was initiated that my dad felt unloved by my mom and that my mom endured years of demeaning words and sexual abuse, along with my dad’s inappropriate contentography addiction. He also was involved with another woman (about my age) for at least a year before the divorce (which he lied about to multiple people at the time) and is still in a relationship with her now. He maintains that my mom was unfaithful for not fulfilling his needs and that he was right to divorce after a loveless marriage and he claims to be a Christian. Needless to say, it was a very ugly divorce, and my mom is still traumatized any time someone so much as mentions my dad. In other areas of life, my dad is a great guy, helping out people whenever he can, etc.
Our family faithfully attended church and was from all I knew genuinely Christian, and I really was hit hard when this all occurred. Previous to the divorce, the only times I really saw my dad was at family gatherings and rare other occasions. Now that they are divorced we can’t have family gatherings together, and I really only see or talk with my dad about 3-5 times a year, usually at my brother’s house.
I love and pray for both my parents, and I continue to pray that my dad would discontinue living in sin and turn back to God, but in the meantime I have a hard time knowing how to relate to him and if I should be pursuing more of a relationship with him and have him more involved with his grandkids. I’m not angry at him and don’t have trouble forgiving personally, but I feel I can’t act like everything is okay with him living in adultery and abandoning my mom. I’ve never met his girlfriend, as he doesn’t bring her around to family things, and basically pretends to us she doesn’t exist. Any thoughts or advice?
Our family faithfully attended church and was from all I knew genuinely Christian, and I really was hit hard when this all occurred. Previous to the divorce, the only times I really saw my dad was at family gatherings and rare other occasions. Now that they are divorced we can’t have family gatherings together, and I really only see or talk with my dad about 3-5 times a year, usually at my brother’s house.
I love and pray for both my parents, and I continue to pray that my dad would discontinue living in sin and turn back to God, but in the meantime I have a hard time knowing how to relate to him and if I should be pursuing more of a relationship with him and have him more involved with his grandkids. I’m not angry at him and don’t have trouble forgiving personally, but I feel I can’t act like everything is okay with him living in adultery and abandoning my mom. I’ve never met his girlfriend, as he doesn’t bring her around to family things, and basically pretends to us she doesn’t exist. Any thoughts or advice?