Blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit

[Berry Berry]

I just had some evil thoughts from the enemy in my head calling the Holy Spirit something bad. Then I thought in my mind "Alright ... the Holy Spirit is God", but after I thought "Alright" I just felt something in my gut telling me that I was thinking something bad. I definitely did not and do not mean that He is anything bad, and of course God is good. I'm afraid I might have blasphemed Him in my thoughts. I definitely stumbled once again. Idk why I keep doing this but I did repent and ask for forgiveness immediately.

I actually felt the same thing in my heart and it felt so real. One time I was praying in church and one of the ladies was being filled by the spirit. And while I was praying and crying to God thought and words came to me and I cant even write it here because it's dirty and demonic and my heart felt like it was from me and when I confessed it to God I was so shameful and it was painful to have to admit to God that my mind came up with those words. I felt like I have no chance in heaven at all and I am scared to go to Hell but there's a part of me that says "i deserve it because of the things I've done to God" and now I feel more miserable and hopeless. I know God loves me and I try my best everytime to be optimistic that "if you really blasphemed the spirit of God, you wouldn't care by now" but I also have doubt that the reason why I care is no because of God's conviction (a result of my blasphemous thoughts) but because of my anxiety having a mental disorder diagnosed just recently in 2020. I am stuck and scared but part of me doesn't want to be scared but how would I know if this feelinh of not being concerned is from me, satan or God himself. I am confused and hopeless. I love God and I just recently came back to Him. I just started being intimate with Him again after months of backsliding in heart and being lukewarm and a hypocrite in faith but now I feel like I really did something aweful because in my heart, I felt that the thought came from me because I felt something weird like a thorn coming out from me and I am scared that by having this feeling, I blasphemed God's Holy Spirit. I am troubled and scared.help I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm losing myself and I am scared that I might be crazy

 

[Berry Berry]

I think context would be helpful here; consider who Jesus was addressing in that verse (Matthew 12:31) .The Pharisees were determined in their rejection of Jesus as the Messiah, even going so far as to attribute His actions to satan (Matthew 12:24). The key word is determined. The Pharisees weren’t afraid that they’d committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, they were determined IN their blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I used to struggle with this too, but eventually I just concluded that if I’m still worried about it, then I don’t think I’ve done it.

My mind is tricking me making me look like I am really the one who is thinking it (randomly) and it deceives me for telling me that it was my own voice and that's the desire of my heart of my heart. The devil knows a lot of verses and he's using it against me to condemn me. I am stuck between being an optimist and assured that I havent committed blasphemy because I still have concern about it but at the same time I am anxious "maybe because I am not concerned is due to the fact that I have really done it and the conviction is not in me anymore"

 

[TenthAveN]

My mind is tricking me making me look like I am really the one who is thinking it (randomly) and it deceives me for telling me that it was my own voice and that's the desire of my heart of my heart. The devil knows a lot of verses and he's using it against me to condemn me. I am stuck between being an optimist and assured that I havent committed blasphemy because I still have concern about it but at the same time I am anxious "maybe because I am not concerned is due to the fact that I have really done it and the conviction is not in me anymore"

Berry, I’ve had that same fear before. Your OCD is going to give you any reason to not think it’s OCD, because it never wants you to have assurance. There may be times when you just wear yourself out and you don’t seem to feel anything. This goes to show you that feelings aren’t truth, but the Word of God is. Accepting that feelings are not a good gauge of your relationship with God is difficult, quite so for me. Just read 1 John 1:9, as has been recommended to me. I hope you get to feeling better.

 

[Mari17]

I actually felt the same thing in my heart and it felt so real. One time I was praying in church and one of the ladies was being filled by the spirit. And while I was praying and crying to God thought and words came to me and I cant even write it here because it's dirty and demonic and my heart felt like it was from me and when I confessed it to God I was so shameful and it was painful to have to admit to God that my mind came up with those words. I felt like I have no chance in heaven at all and I am scared to go to Hell but there's a part of me that says "i deserve it because of the things I've done to God" and now I feel more miserable and hopeless. I know God loves me and I try my best everytime to be optimistic that "if you really blasphemed the spirit of God, you wouldn't care by now" but I also have doubt that the reason why I care is no because of God's conviction (a result of my blasphemous thoughts) but because of my anxiety having a mental disorder diagnosed just recently in 2020. I am stuck and scared but part of me doesn't want to be scared but how would I know if this feelinh of not being concerned is from me, satan or God himself. I am confused and hopeless. I love God and I just recently came back to Him. I just started being intimate with Him again after months of backsliding in heart and being lukewarm and a hypocrite in faith but now I feel like I really did something aweful because in my heart, I felt that the thought came from me because I felt something weird like a thorn coming out from me and I am scared that by having this feeling, I blasphemed God's Holy Spirit. I am troubled and scared.help I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm losing myself and I am scared that I might be crazy

This sounds very much like intrusive thoughts caused by OCD. What mental disorder were you diagnosed with?

 

[Job405]

I actually felt the same thing in my heart and it felt so real. One time I was praying in church and one of the ladies was being filled by the spirit. And while I was praying and crying to God thought and words came to me and I cant even write it here because it's dirty and demonic and my heart felt like it was from me and when I confessed it to God I was so shameful and it was painful to have to admit to God that my mind came up with those words. I felt like I have no chance in heaven at all and I am scared to go to Hell but there's a part of me that says "i deserve it because of the things I've done to God" and now I feel more miserable and hopeless. I know God loves me and I try my best everytime to be optimistic that "if you really blasphemed the spirit of God, you wouldn't care by now" but I also have doubt that the reason why I care is no because of God's conviction (a result of my blasphemous thoughts) but because of my anxiety having a mental disorder diagnosed just recently in 2020. I am stuck and scared but part of me doesn't want to be scared but how would I know if this feelinh of not being concerned is from me, satan or God himself. I am confused and hopeless. I love God and I just recently came back to Him. I just started being intimate with Him again after months of backsliding in heart and being lukewarm and a hypocrite in faith but now I feel like I really did something aweful because in my heart, I felt that the thought came from me because I felt something weird like a thorn coming out from me and I am scared that by having this feeling, I blasphemed God's Holy Spirit. I am troubled and scared.help I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm losing myself and I am scared that I might be crazy

I once had a thought that was extremely bad, like so wicked. I was on a Zoom conference call with my church and they were explaining biblical salvation to the group. I was at the time fearing for my salvation, and I had this wicked thought "I'm going to hell and I hope my brothers and sisters go with me" ... what happened after that was that I felt the Holy Spirit's effect on me go away. When they were talking about scripture in the Zoom conference call I felt like it was ridiculous words on a paper, like I saw it from the lens of a non-believer. I no longer saw the scripture as God's word. I got scared, put the microphone on mute, prayed and quickly repented of this evil thought. I now started to view the scriptures as Holy again.

The Holy Spirit truly does so much for us, we cannot even believe that Jesus is the Son of God without the Holy Spirit. We can't see the Holiness of the scriptures without Him, the gospel is foolishness to them that perish. We cannot even repent without Him. NOTHING is possible without the Holy Spirit, He is our connection to God.

If you can still say Jesus is Lord and the Son of God, if you believe the gospel, and you see the Bible scriptures as the word of God, then I think you are still OK with God. Just pray, confess and repent of any wicked thoughts, God is just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

[Litpath]

Do you have any support (therapy, or anything else) for dealing with these thoughts? Have you been able to get any help for your OCD and/or other traumas?

No unfortunately :/ Not at least when I was young.

 

[Mari17]

No unfortunately :/ Not at least when I was young.

I don't know much about dealing with trauma, but I'm willing to talk about the OCD part if you want. I've learned a lot about OCD over the years of dealing with it, so if you are looking for resources (websites etc.) to help learn about it and how to treat it, or if you would like me to share any of the things I've learned, I'd be happy to do that!

 

[Mia Asa]

I know these thoughts so well.
When i go to sleep i try to think something kind prehaphs about paradise or sea then it's beginning God is... Jesus is...... And i woke up at the morning i heard same. It's haunting me. I love God and Jesus so much i don't wanna left them.

 

[Mia Asa]

Anybody ever get strong thoughts and Urges to not only think but speak the thoughts out loud thoughts pertaining to you in your in voice asking the HS To perform and or do sexual acts to you........I hate this it’s kills me the only way to be free is die

I know.
Sometimes i wanna end me too.
My head has hurting thoughts about God and Jesus, Holy Spirt. Everyday i scream in my mind to God or Jesus "Heeeelp Meee"

 

[Mia Asa]

Where I'm at at the moment is these thoughts are Non-Stop and constant but yet it's almost like I've learned to live with them as if they're just constant background noise because I fought them for so long and tried to ignore them and was so fear stricken by them that they literally became a habit and they're stuck in my head I think blasphemous thoughts constantly it's almost like my flesh has latched on to him and it constantly wants to think these negative thoughts it's very weird to explain I don't know if anybody understands call it mental illness a sickness OCD a demon what have you but I'm to the point now I don't know what my life is like without these thoughts it's almost as if if they're not there I purposely think them I've become obsessed and consumed in them but again I've learned to live my life with them it's like my bodies become addicted to them yes I prayed fasted salt the Lord took medical treatment talked to specialist and yet nothing I don't know why but yet I'm glad the fear has subsided it's one thing to have thoughts but to have thoughts and a Fe ar and panic of going insane is another thing I've literally become numb I hate I ever got obsessed and consumed in these blasphemous thoughts yes it's the whole idea of don't think of a pink elephant and it's all you think of and that's what happened with me as silly as it was I do not understand it it's as if the more I feared it the more I didn't want it the more I tried to pray against it the worse it got they'll finally my mind would blaspheme everything related to God I could literally hop in the shower and my mind would create a demonic thought against the Holy Spirit I could literally be using the restroom and my mind would conjure up some ungodly thought against the spirit I could put the car keys in my car to start it up and my mind would just start trying to conjure up something dirty it's as if my flesh was fighting against me but again I'm to the point I have learned to just live my life with this 24/7 constant blasphemy I'm to the point now I don't care if it ever leaves or not I'm used to it now

Your comment makes me wanna cry. I has got too. It's hurting me so much. Sometimes i think it's a bad dream. My life suck and sick i have no job, i have no friends . I had lost my hope to be happy and free and to be sure. I see i'm not alone with this problem. Everyday please Jesus don't leave me.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Your comment makes me wanna cry. I has got too. It's hurting me so much. Sometimes i think it's a bad dream. My life suck and sick i have no job, i have no friends . I had lost my hope to be happy and free and to be sure. I see i'm not alone with this problem. Everyday please Jesus don't leave me.

 

[Arrows]

So I was laying in bed trying to sleep and this demon put a partial thought into my brain about the Holy Spirit which I finished, most likely due to OCD about always finishing partial thoughts (this has been one source of many of my bad thoughts). The end result was a blasphemous thought that I did not mean.

Now I feel really bad and nervous that I may have blasphemed Him, but at the same time numb. And I love Him so much I do not want Him to depart from me. Why does this keep happening to me?!?! I'm sorry God please have mercy on me a sinner.

 

[Arrows]

Regarding the Holy Spirit, ask yourself, what are your sincere intentions. The Spirit knows.

 

[RemiB.]

This is still going on for me btw.

Hey Job, I wanted to update you. It took a few months for me and a lot of prayers to win the battle. Every now and then, it comes but not like it once was last year. When you pray, do you ask God to quiet your mind?

 

[Job405]

Hey Job, I wanted to update you. It took a few months for me and a lot of prayers to win the battle. Every now and then, it comes but not like it once was last year. When you pray, do you ask God to quiet your mind?

Congratulations I am happy you are restored. During prayer my mind is often quiet.

 

[Litpath]

I don't know much about dealing with trauma, but I'm willing to talk about the OCD part if you want. I've learned a lot about OCD over the years of dealing with it, so if you are looking for resources (websites etc.) to help learn about it and how to treat it, or if you would like me to share any of the things I've learned, I'd be happy to do that!

Sure, I'll take anything b/c my ocd is getting too hard to handle at this point.
Thank you for your kindness <3

 

[Mari17]

Sure, I'll take anything b/c my ocd is getting too hard to handle at this point.
Thank you for your kindness <3

Well, my favorite website for scrupulosity is: OCD & CHRISTIANITY – CHRISTIANITY
And a good online support group, which I'm a member of, is: Facebook Groups
Another good site about scrupulosity: OCD.
And a good general website about OCD: https://www.ocdonline.com/
That's what I have for a start, anyway. I'd be happy to share more resources as needed, or answer specific questions you may have!

 

[JackpotJ22]

Anybody ever get strong thoughts and Urges to not only think but speak the thoughts out loud thoughts pertaining to you in your in voice asking the HS To perform and or do sexual acts to you........I hate this it’s kills me the only way to be free is die

Hey Zach! I have also struggled with religious OCD, (All types of disgusting unholy thoughts from the dark kingdom, even sexual ones.) The Devil is a liar! He is trying to convince you that you are not saved. But God already has you! CHRIST is GREATER than those thoughts. GOD has given you grace, even if you thought those on purpose. THATS HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU. Those thoughts aren’t yours. I know you’ve been struggling with this for years, but I give GOD the glory, because a testimony will come from this!!!!

I talked to my pastor about religious OCD and he said, “God is not in a rush to send us to Hell.”

If you were a Blasphemer, I don’t believe you would even be on this forum.
From my understanding if you were a blasphemer, you would have no concern at all for God or the situation. That was my worst fear, accidentally Blasphemeing against The Holy Spirit, but serve GOD out of Faith and love, not just fear.

Something I really want you to understand though, the power of life and Death is in the tounge. (I’m not talking about how you mumble the words under your breath) But how you talk about the situation. Don’t give those spirits power. Don’t say that you have been consumed, because you havent. Even in your trial, speak life over the situation. You talk about it as if you are already defeated, but God has given you another day of life for a reason. You will get through this because Jesus already defeated all of your enemies way before the fight began!


No demon or wicked thought or person can ever steal the salvation God has already given you. John 10:28 (I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; No one will snatch them out of my hand)

Your story will help others like us who have experienced this same thing.

want to encourage you to keep the faith!

The battle is already won through Jesus Christ. You are covered in His blood. His word says that “He will never leave nor forsake you!”

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Amen! I just don't know why they won't leave! They have been with me for so long that I think them out of habbit(thoe they bring me such sickness in body and anguish in mind) its like no matter what I do I am thinking them 24/7.............yes I do pray and read,although it's really hard at times! I know without a shadow of dought this walk we are on we walk strictly by faith and faith alone! Even as I write this I feel so empty and I feel as if I love and want the thoughts thus making me a blasphemer with no grace to help me any more! I don't know if my feelings and mind are trying to be warped heavily by the enemy..........again i know we are fighting the good fight of faith!

 

[JackpotJ22]

Watch this video. It provided me with a lot of helpful information on Scrupulousity/Religious OCD, and how to deal with it.

I hope this helps. God is blessing me with a community that understands. Im praying for you, and know that God has you.
let me know when you’ve watched it.
https://youtu.be/4gE6D2Ra2Yc