The reason I ask is I have the following problem: I, repeatedly, try to sincerely turn my life over to Christ. It usually culminates with a heart-felt cry, "Take me!" ("Take me" is what a friend of mine told me he said the moment he surrendered to Christ.) But then, I keep "looking up at Jesus" for only a second or two. Then, it seems as if i turn away, look back down, and let Self take the throne of my heart and life.
It is kind of like being at the bottom of a ladder, where Jesus is on top, above the ladder, waiting to pull you up. But a consortium of the world, the flesh and the devil is at the bottom, and has got you by your waist and is constantly holding you in place at the bottom. If you look up at the top of the ladder, at Jesus, then try to climb up toward Him, that Consortium grapples you and pulls you back down. Now, I understand you cannot "climb the ladder" to Jesus. All you do is trust Him and He pulls you up, without any effort on your part. But I'll look up at Him, and try to trust Him, and keep my gaze on Him for about a second. Then I give in to the force holding me at the bottom.
Sometimes I keep up a concentrated effort to gaze at Jesus for longer than a second: like maybe I go two or three seconds. But then I stop resisting the downward pull immediately.
I remind myself of a guy I met, whom I refer to as ""Josh-in-the-woods." Josh told me that he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which I also have been diagnosed with and see a psychiatrist and take meds for. Josh said that for a period of time in his life, he would give his life to Christ, then, immediately, the next second, decide, "I'm OK with Jesus. Now I'm going to do what I want." After this got repeated some number of times, he got to the point where he would spend eight hours a day, every day, walking through the woods and saying "Son of David, have mercy on me!" over and over again. Finally, he went to a Christian psychiatrist and started taking meds and since has gotten work, gotten married and has a child. That business of him walking through the woods eight hours a day is pretty similar to what I do, and have been doing, on and off, for years.
I question my sincerity and the validity of my supposed "salvation" because of this. If I, in my heart of hearts, have it set to where I PLAN to follow Jesus for only a few seconds, then back out, then that is an insincere approach to Jesus and may make me unsaveable.
BTW, when I googled the question, the first link that came up was to a video called, "The Ten Second Rule." I watched the video, and, no, it was not saying you have to follow Jesus for ten seconds to be saved. It was about a book called "The Ten Second Rule," which is about Christian living. The second video that came up right after that one was a serious sermon about commitment to Jesus.
It is kind of like being at the bottom of a ladder, where Jesus is on top, above the ladder, waiting to pull you up. But a consortium of the world, the flesh and the devil is at the bottom, and has got you by your waist and is constantly holding you in place at the bottom. If you look up at the top of the ladder, at Jesus, then try to climb up toward Him, that Consortium grapples you and pulls you back down. Now, I understand you cannot "climb the ladder" to Jesus. All you do is trust Him and He pulls you up, without any effort on your part. But I'll look up at Him, and try to trust Him, and keep my gaze on Him for about a second. Then I give in to the force holding me at the bottom.
Sometimes I keep up a concentrated effort to gaze at Jesus for longer than a second: like maybe I go two or three seconds. But then I stop resisting the downward pull immediately.
I remind myself of a guy I met, whom I refer to as ""Josh-in-the-woods." Josh told me that he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which I also have been diagnosed with and see a psychiatrist and take meds for. Josh said that for a period of time in his life, he would give his life to Christ, then, immediately, the next second, decide, "I'm OK with Jesus. Now I'm going to do what I want." After this got repeated some number of times, he got to the point where he would spend eight hours a day, every day, walking through the woods and saying "Son of David, have mercy on me!" over and over again. Finally, he went to a Christian psychiatrist and started taking meds and since has gotten work, gotten married and has a child. That business of him walking through the woods eight hours a day is pretty similar to what I do, and have been doing, on and off, for years.
I question my sincerity and the validity of my supposed "salvation" because of this. If I, in my heart of hearts, have it set to where I PLAN to follow Jesus for only a few seconds, then back out, then that is an insincere approach to Jesus and may make me unsaveable.
BTW, when I googled the question, the first link that came up was to a video called, "The Ten Second Rule." I watched the video, and, no, it was not saying you have to follow Jesus for ten seconds to be saved. It was about a book called "The Ten Second Rule," which is about Christian living. The second video that came up right after that one was a serious sermon about commitment to Jesus.